01/01/05 02:34 - ID#26940

2005 and still alive

Wow it's 2005, in a few months I'll be 25 (and then I can finally pay less for car insurance). The funny thing is, I never thought I'd make it this far. Part of the reason that I blew off high-school was that I didn't think I'd be alive this long. I just always figured that some how, some way, I'd be shot or hit by a car or maybe even beaten to death. ( I was a happy child )
But now I can easily picture, myself, old. Rocking chair, false teeth, Grandchildren, and stories about

When I was a kid computer screens where only Green and Black

People complain all the time about growing old, they say " All life is, is you grow old and then you die." But that's not true.Only if your lucky, will that happen. Growing old is a privilege, we all know someone that was denied that privilege. So be happy, with every ache and pain, and every lost or grey hair, that your still here to experience it, consider the alternative.

Permalink: 2005_and_still_alive.html
Words: 177
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/31/04 02:58 - ID#26939

Happy New Years?

I've never really understood the concept of New Years. It's not a holiday, and it's not a "happy day" either. Even when I was little I remember thinking, " Oh shit, I'm one year closer to the grave." Year to year things never really change, for the first twenty or so years ( that I understood what was going on) I'd get so depressed thinking, " I can't believe I wasted another year, how can I 'carpe dium' if I can't even seize the whole F'n year.

Until this year, I changed so much. I, in fact, will never be the same, thank God. I was upset looking into the past, But now I'm hopeful for the future. Like Johnny Nash said, "the rain is gone." So Fuck it " HAPPY NEW YEAR'S BITCHES!" Another year of your life has ended, make it worth it, because you never know how many you have left.

Permalink: Happy_New_Years_.html
Words: 150
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/30/04 10:23 - ID#26938

Perkins people

So today I went out to dinner. Why isn't a crime for parents to overfeed there children? This poor child was at least 200lbs, and at most eleven years old. It was hard to find human features. This poor child has no future, except a possible heart attack, and I went to high school, I thought people hated me. I'm sure they tell him to his face. Now the parents are the problem, they control his food intake. These people replace love with food, " shut up kid, eat a sandwich." I'm so angry right now, I wish Jarred from Subway could get that train from Batman 2, and drive around collecting these obese children to save them from there dark future. These parents are poisoning there children, one candy bar at a time. Someone should be held accountable.

Permalink: Perkins_people.html
Words: 137
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/29/04 11:03 - ID#26937

Attempted Murder

I don't understand this concept, lets say you get mad and you shoot someone, and they die. And then I get mad ( in a totally unrelated incidence ) and I shoot someone and they survive. Shouldn't our punishment be the same, I mean if I intended to kill someone, and failed that doesn't make me a better person. The survival is an event that I had no control over. So even though our actions were the same, you'll be in prison long after me ( if they don't execute you of course).
I also don't understand the concept of "hate crime". Now any time the victim and the killer have a different race, or sexuality, or religious belief this Hate Crime crap is brought up. If some racist scumbag is going to kill someone, do you think, the hate crime bill is a deterrent. Hell no, not if murder one isn't. Murder is one of three things hate, passion or fear (sounds like dating). I just don't understand who there trying to please with this fluff. Here's an Idea for hate crime's, If you kill a black man, or a homosexual etc., you get placed in that section of the prison. Now that would be a deterrent. Or just poetic justice ( and most likely a shorter prison stay )

Permalink: Attempted_Murder.html
Words: 216
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/29/04 02:36 - ID#26936

Really Bored

Missing Image ;(

Permalink: Really_Bored.html
Words: 4
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/29/04 12:40 - ID#26935

I'm doomed

Why don't people strive to be better more often ? Why isn't there a greater drive to learn new things? The ability to think on ones own seems to be missing. Stupidity is the norm.

Ignorance is bliss

Oh how it haunts me, am I to believe the source of my sadness is my intelligence. People reminisce when they see children, so naive, so full of wonder, and they think the difference is knowledge. The difference is indifference. A child asks how the phone, or TV, or Radio work. They ask because they want to know the answer, the real answer. Buts so many times the answer is "because it does." We don't know, we just stopped asking. I can honestly say that I don't know how a speaker works. i know there's copper wire and a magnet, but how It can duplicate two guitars, drums, a piano, and three people singing, that's beyond me right now.

That's why I feel doomed, we've all complicated our lives with so much useless crap, and everybody does there "thing", and believes "because it does" is good enough. IT'S NOT. Learn the answers find out why things work.

Now with the amount of useless crap that's out there that's a daunting task, but start with whats a part of your everyday life. Search for answers, all life is, is a series of questions, people just stopped asking. Ask "Why is Jack is a nickname for John ?" or "When I'm being "cocky" is that a poultry reference ?" or "Where did the word German ever come from, if they call themselves Doitch?" or even "Do they call somebody being killed a murder because they'd find a lot of crows around the dead body, or is a group of crows a murder because they're scavengers and would feed on a dead body ?" Don't just accept anything, know something.

Permalink: I_m_doomed.html
Words: 311
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/28/04 03:02 - ID#26934

Balance

Life and all it's mystery,
unfold before my eyes.
All the twists and turns,
are really no surprise.
The sun will rise and rise again,
the moon will wax and wane.
And I'll have smiles and laughter,
to help me through my pain.

Permalink: Balance.html
Words: 43
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/28/04 02:43 - ID#26933

Rear-view mirror

So what, I hear voices, I'm sure we all do. I bet doctors ( or whoever) would say it's just our brains winding down for a good nights sleep. I hear little two word, partial sentences, different recognisable voices, but I can never put my finger on them. It's I'm in a trance, not asleep and not awake. The voices are like little audio memories of something I can't remember. Like being outside someones door, something catches my ear and creates an indescribable picture in my brain, then gone.

I've always had them, there's even a voice that scares me a little. I figure It's from my childhood, because it's been bothering me for the last ten years. And not just while sleeping, there's a trigger in my brain, whenever there's a loud bang, or any loud random noise I hear it, like an echo. I know I hear it but the words never form, and the voice is one note short for me to " name that tune". It chills me, changes my breathing, my little demon. Reducing me to a scared child.

I wonder if our past is really behind us, because sometimes it stares us right in the face, like a rear-view mirror.

Permalink: Rear_view_mirror.html
Words: 204
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/28/04 11:52 - ID#26932

MY BOYS