06/30/04 11:30 - ID#26593

waiting, sad & depressed

i hate waiting for a email to arrive. all i do is hang around my computer and click "inbox" every half hour or so. it drives me into depression. especially when i end up waiting for 5 days or more, as i have been now.

eventually i'll stop checking and months will go by and i'll send another note and all will be well again. but i don't want those months to go by. i'm not ready for it.

so i watched about a boy tonight (i love anything and everything nick hornby lays a hand to) and was reminded that U2 used to be a pretty good band. the trio of joshua tree, rattle & hum, and achtung baby cannot be beat. so i slipped in achtung baby hoping to rock out. but it's only made me even more sad and depressed.

Permalink: waiting_sad_depressed.html
Words: 142
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/25/04 08:38 - ID#26592

great night/morning

wow...

i'm not sure i have ever partied till 7 a.m. before. definitely 6:30, but i think this is the record for me. (obviously i've been a good girl.)

thanks to epeeps etc at the pink--i loved it there. also many props to keith for hosting the eventual naked dance party. i now smell like man sweat. and my own, too. still, there's this lingering otherness.

i really had a fabulous night. i should get some sleep, but i also need to clean up the apt. as julie may possibly be crashing here. i should clean in any case, really.

i'll miss the prom, which i'm very sad about. hope you all have as great a time as i did in the last 24hrs!

Permalink: great_night_morning.html
Words: 123
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/24/04 09:23 - ID#26591

Summer Begins!

Like Paul, today was my last day of teaching till the fall! woo--hoo!

so, to celebrate, I'll be enjoying yet another evening at the old pink. come on down tonight. Robin & I are planning to be there around 11:30 or so.

Permalink: Summer_Begins_.html
Words: 41
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/24/04 07:32 - ID#26590

Nomination: Funniest Line in a Journal

I respectfully submit to you:

"Robin, we desperately need our plunger back. Please bring it back ASAP."

From Keith's journal, 6/24/04 16:12 [inlink]keith,17[/inlink]

Permalink: Nomination_Funniest_Line_in_a_Journal.html
Words: 21
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/24/04 05:31 - ID#26589

stop thinking now

i couldn't avoid it any longer. i was too curious. i just had to see what my students had written in the course evals from the fall and spring.

so i read them. soyeon and emily (pauls pal from boston) and paul got to experience them with me. so were actually good, many complained about the equipment, and a handful really hated the course and/or me. ME!

it's all stuff i can't stop thinking about. the personal comments stink and the course comments are making me want to stay up and redesign the entire thing RIGHT NOW.

the worst thing is that i can't really remember what the good stuff said. all those nice comments about enjoying class, saying i was a good instructor, etc.... they're all just kind of blah nice. but the hateful ones, the ones written in caps and scratched in hard, those are visual images i can't get out of my brain.

ARRRRRGGGGG! i hate the human condition sometimes.

Permalink: stop_thinking_now.html
Words: 164
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/24/04 05:07 - ID#26588

crazy tonight

i know i'm crazy
but i just can't stop

at four a.m. i should be sleeping
not thinking, not weeping, not pining

i know this is crazy
so i won't give it words
i won't give you words

i'll give you this
what you've always got
a hint, a smile, a nevermind

tonight is for crazies
let out in the wild
with a poor chance of survival
in the morning light

Permalink: crazy_tonight.html
Words: 72
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/23/04 09:07 - ID#26587

smarter

[inlink]matthew,281[/inlink]

aren't ducks (and other animals) smarter than that?

Permalink: smarter.html
Words: 9
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/23/04 08:06 - ID#26586

i hate jackson pollock but i love you

at the museum
the mess was there on the wall
black yellow white red blue
layers warring
my attention divided

Permalink: i_hate_jackson_pollock_but_i_love_you.html
Words: 20
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/22/04 03:21 - ID#26585

pink monday night

great time at the pink, as always. met some new characters -- chief, his silent bob, and a guy who works at brentwood manor. plus, the always enjoyable conversation of fellow strippers.

matthew, whenever you want to go to the botanical gardens, i'm in.

also, i'm with jessbob and maidencateyes about having more recent posts show than just the last ten. i've faced the same stress of choosing whether or not to spend time catching up on everyone by clicking more, or just seeing the most recent stuff. if there were more immediately available, i'd be more likely to read all of them. and that's what i want to do.

Permalink: pink_monday_night.html
Words: 110
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/21/04 12:42 - ID#26584

googling estrippers

paul [inlink]paul,1203[/inlink],

actually, i like the google ability. i think it's really cool. maybe if my family found me here i wouldn't think it was so cool, but maybe if they did, it would be alright. they could learn all about me and we wouldn't have to talk at all. and that's the whole point of blogging anyway, if you ask me. you can say what you want without that annoying conversational response (or if there is one -- like this here journal entry -- you can ignore it if you want).

so anyway, i am in no way saying that we shouldn't be able to google the site (although i agree about the annoying advertising and them making money off us). but i do think it's fair for people to try erase themselves if they want to make it more difficult for others to find them.

of course people out there (they) will find you if they're looking for you. i can't imagine how difficult it is to live anonymously. even my dad, who has never ever been on the internet, gets a result on a google search (http://maplesyrup.cas.psu.edu/producers/tioga.html).

but i think most of us (or at least enough of us) feel like "lil ole me" and who cares what i write, nobody's gonna take the time to look up my blog site every day. i feel that way, but then i also started posting much more on this site once i realized that people actually did read it. but i can imagine other people having the exact opposite response. i've always loved attention, but i guess the julie-types out there don't.

Permalink: googling_estrippers.html
Words: 280
Location: Buffalo, NY

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