just i.m.ing (e:paul) and he gave me that quote.

i totally agree that by silencing yourself, you're giving into government oppression. at the same time, i think i can understand (e:churchofjulie) 's decision. it's not just that the fbi can/will check up on us, it's that joe schmoe who googles your (or his name if you use it) name can too.

the first time i EVER saw a blog, i googled my name (i forget the hip term for that) and saw a posting written by one of the girls who worked for me at the library. she didn't say anything bad about me and i was amused and enchanted that i ranked high enough for her to tell her friends about me. i never told her i saw her blog and every once in a while i'd check back in on it to see how she was doing. (that's the voyeur in me). but i think she would have freaked if she new i did that.

so that's why i think it's okay for julie/anyone to delete her journal -- after all it is her journal and she can do what she wants with her virtual identity.

but at the same time, i think it's a bad idea to give in to fear. as i told my mom the other night when she was discouraging me from driving by myself across the country, i refuse to live my life in fear. fear sucks. i hate being afraid, because then i've lost control of my life. if i can't feel free to express my thoughts and opinions--for whatever reason--then why should i continue living in america?

and that's what this all comes down to -- what america is, what the ideal is, and what it's becoming. somebody (maybe andy?) said or wrote the other day that the government doesn't want us to be afraid, they want us to be happy, because if we're happy, then we don't question what they're doing. i can buy that--but it's not how they're acting. right now they're dishing out fear. why else have a terror alert level? they're telling us how scared we should be each day, and assuming a certain level of fear on top of it! fear will cause the average person to do one of two things: 1) shut up and shut down, trying not to draw attention or suspicion; or 2) keep the eagle eye open, suspecting everyone and everything. both are a kind of paranoia and neither are productive or encourage you to think critically.




from:

i think i'm beginning to rant. i have been disgusted with the "Homeland Security Advisory" since day one. supposed it's a guage of the likelihood of a terrorist attack, but i consider it more of an indicator of how much terror the goverment wished to instill in their trusting citizens.

i'll close in peace:
"and you, my father, there on the sad height,
curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, i pray.
do not go gentle into that good night.
rage, rage agaist the dying of the light"
--dylan thomas

i decided to drive home last night to be a good daughter on father's day. my mom is away for the week, my brother with his wife's family, and my sister's a preacher--so she works sundays. so i too attended church, took dad out to lunch, and came home and mowed the lawn for my dad. i wanted to help him bale hay, but it wasn't dry yet. tomorrow is when he'll need help and i have to be in buffalo.

on the drive down yesterday, robin called and gave me the info on the party. sorry i missed it--sounded like fun.

i'm fairly disturbed by the destruction of churchofjulie. i'm glad she's coming back to b-lo, but sad it has to be under these circumstances. physical presense is generally preferable to virtual, but it's best to have bothl. i guess i could respect her wishes completely by not even mentioning her anymore.

on a related note, i am no longer going a on road trip to alaska. i may go home and work on the farm. we'll see.

Ajay, that is a beautiful picture ([inlink]ajay,41[/inlink]). Makes me want to sink into it. I love blue skies like that.

here's a heads-up for y'all who may go to brodo (or is it broda?), that place next to spot on elmwood -- when you order the tomato entree for $14, you get a tomato stuffed with cous-cous. now, it's tasty, but i think you could make this at home for about $1.50.

the salmon entree, on the other hand, is a delicious and filling meal. mmmm. that was good. i'm glad i didn't order the tomato like soyeon. (ha ha!)

went to albright knox today. i didn't know about the free admission on saturdays from 11am - 1pm. that's why i'm posting it here.

hope all is well with everyone. dodgeball sounds like good fun...

dude, if you haven't seen identity and you're looking for a good thriller-- go rent it. i love john cusack anyway but i thought it was pretty good.

i very easily suspend my disbelief, so don't ever expect me to say "i figured that one out halfway through the movie." if i do, it must be a really bad movie. so, i can't really evaluate it on those terms. i was surprised by the end. good enough for me.

plus i love john cusack.

MK mentioned that she just bought a backpack ([inlink]mk,93[/inlink]). I haven't purchased a new one, but I just dug out my old one from high school/college yesterday. i wanted to have my hands free at the protest.

I like the two straps. it's a much more comfortable (dare i say ergonomic?) way to carry stuff. why did i ever give it up?

swati swati, are you in town? give me a call soon, before next thursday!

last week, terry published his theory that all the unmarked cars in buffalo had a license plate beginning with "AUM." [inlink]terry,245[/inlink]

as we witnessed seemingly unnecessary police brutality tonight outside the pink [inlink]robin,194[/inlink], i checked out the plates on the unmarked car the plain-clothes officer leaped from. they began with "AEZ."

Sorry terry, but i guess the theory doesn't hold true.

keith, i dig the cd. a good mix of familiar artists/unfamiliar tracks (for me at least). the cable guys were here installing my free month while it was playing and they didn't take too much notice till the end. "The Miracle of Childbirth" by King Missile III. all ears perked up at "fuck me daddy" or somewhere in there. i bonded with them as we laughed. good song. whole thing is good and is perfect for the alaska trip!

despite locking my keys in my apartment last night, i had a great time at the pink. good fun hanging out with y'all. robin, i hope you had a good birthday night!

Thanks to Mike for the ride to Soyeon's house.
Thanks to Soyeon for letting my sleep on her couch.
Thanks to my building super for letting me back in.

no thanks to my sandals that gave me a blister on the walk home this morning.