i have a friend i refer to as my gay husband. he is adorable, flamboyant, loving - but very co-dependent. he calls me (on average) anywhere from 3 to 10 times a day. usually the calls start around 8:30am as he knows i am getting ready for work. i am alright with this for the most part. i enjoy talking to him for the most part (except when he calls only to say he got a great parking spot.) regardless, the thing of it is, whenever i return his calls he never answers. sometimes he calls me back, sometimes not. i find this bizarre. my friend theresa compared it to the sex and the city episode where Big is dating the movie actress and says; "she can reach me, but i can NEVER reach her..." anyways, i find this an extermely unusual personality trait. any freshman psych majors care to analyze this for me?

one more test for me as a grown up tonite. i am supposed to take vendors out and schmooze them for work. but i really want to go to a show at kitchen distribution. damnit being old sucks.

In just 3 short weeks i leave for my 'tour de ex' as i have affectionately come to call it. i am flying to california to see 2 of the men in my life that affected me quite a bit. both i still remain friendly with. one on a goofy friendship level and one on a more serious level. i won some vouchers through work and since they live within an hour of each other i figured it would be a good opportunity to go see both. they both were friendly with each other in college and got along well. the thing is, they do not really know about each other from a 'me' standpoint. so the question is, is this reasonable to bring up to both before i go? do i have to tell both of them of my relationship with each? i know the answer. i do. but i am starting to feel like this trip could be a really bad idea. (all awkwardness of the duo aside) there are only a few logical outcomes:

a.) i go and don't come back
b.) i go and come back crushed

on the other hand i suppose i can just go and snowboard and surf and relax and see redwoods and pig out and shop and come back happy and relaxed.
either way, i probably wont speak of this again.. oddly enough the only one - even including my closest friends, that knows the whole story is (e:thecarey) who i tortured with a mini-synopsis weeks ago. so, carey, i am going.

anyways. drama aside....
first they took away my myspace - now my aim. my work is really cracking down. if they block estrip i may die. no joke. i need contact with the outside world! i can only send so many text messages a day.

i must be having an excellent voice day. a good portion of the men i have spoken to on the phone today at work have hit on me. i find this so funny. i mean really. we are at work - i realize it gets boring - but what do they think i am going to do? drop everything, move to india or new hampshire or santa ana or whatever sales office they are calling me from and give in to their promises of 4 door sedans and p.f changs? one guy seriously asked if he could 'facebook' me. ew.

is it pathetic i cried/hyperventilated at 24 last nite?

disturbing news this afternoon.
i am not going to sit here and write about my views on abortion - no one really wants to read that, and i am sure you can guess what it is. but be aware...this is a scary, scary thing, people.

on a lighter note. my favorite question on the artvoice pole is "favorite corner." this has been holding up my entry. i am toggling between a few. its funny, because i have 3 different corners on elmwood. i can not think of anywhere else in buffalo that would have prize worthy corners. i love bird and elmwood because it is right by my house. i am there all the time. i always run into people there. i love we never close and the liquor store and the poster shop. i like mr. pizza. and a good portion of my friends live within eyesite. i also love the spot/globe/new world corner. see my dilemma? what is everyone else's favorite corner? and seriously...does anyone have one off elmwood, perhaps off sheridan in tonowanda? i mean really.

i hope i used 'toggling' correctly there. it has recently come to my attention i have terrible grammar and spelling. how embarrassing. this is what happens when you graduate, i suppose. i changed my quote in my myspace to say "i have terrible grammer." not even knowing i spelled grammar incorrectly. i should have let people believe i was doing it to be funny.

i have an unnatural obsession with suduko. i go through several puzzles a day now.i think about it all the time. at first i picked it up because i thought it would make me smarter. but in reality i think it literally has made me retarded. i can not concentrate on my day to day activities. this is why i have not written in a while - no joke. please help me.

also. booking airline flights has to be one of the most annoying things in the world. i got a bunch of AMEX gift cheqeus from work that i wanted to use towards my cali trip. but apparently you can only use those if you buy your flight at the terminal. if i buy my flight at the terminal - rather then online - it costs $200 more. seriously. i have been going back and forth on this for about 4 hours. i give up. i am going to take another week off from work and just hitch out there.

i seriously just ate a piece of chocolate cake, a plate full of home fries with franks hot, a donut, apple juice and 2 mountain dews. this is another bad thing about coporate america. there is always free food. there is always donuts and birthday cake. whoever said there isn't such a thing as a free lunch is full of crap. although i suppose my payment is the 15lbs i have gained since working here. i'm not going to fit in my coporate cas'.

now i am seriously considering lunch. the menu today looks pretty good:


i got another speeding ticket last nite. i seriously have the worst car luck. i SWEAR i wasn't even speeding. i would admit it. i didn't even have enough time to get goin - i was just pulling out of the gym. the person in front of me pulled over too - and when i pulled aside he drove away. it was him. i know it. blah. the cop was so cliche too. his name was Quigley and looked like Jerry Stiller. how many tickets can i get til i lose my license?


in the time i wrote this i also just got a piece of eggplant parmeson.

another weekend came and passed. it was lazy and self indulgent. my kinda weekend.
friday i went out too hard, leading to a saturday of movies and eating. i am appalled i even made it to the mall.

someone texted me saturday nite with: "U R in the bathroom here....famous"
this is unsettling, especially considering i don't recognize the number. the only place i can say for sure my name is on the wall is the girl's bathroom of Mohawk. its all over that place. one section has scrawled in monstrous letters:

"COLEMAN LOVES REID" (after a nite of drunken debauchery years ago- probably watching the waves.)

and:

"COLEMAN IS MY BEAST OF BURDEN"
(that one i didn't notice for weeks. apparently it is the work of dyan - who also has applied this to the stall of her local Dallas dive as well. as to what it means - long story.)

yesterday i finally saw brokeback mountain and ate my leftover Off The Wall tortellini. there was some serious movie commenters behind me in the regal. it was a running commentary the entire time. i despise these people. yea i know its a sad story. yea i know jake gyllenhaul is very attractive. yea i know they are having sex. yea i know the scenery is lovely. shut up.

is it legal for me to be working today? according to my desktop calendar my next day off is not until may 29th. memorial day. i hate my life.

what a ridiculous morning.
i woke up late - i had fallen asleep on my couch. i had an early morning at 9am. my boss has already been on me about comin g in late etc. so i literally pulled on a pair of pants and ran out the door. i drove like a maniac down the 198 to a 33. by the time i hit Cayuga i had slowed down a bit - and i looked like i could make it there with a few minutes to spare. until the van in front of my spun out on the ice and i slammed on my breaks. and did a 360. and slammed into her. blah.
i am fine and my car only has minor damage. after the cop left i noticed that i had had the imprinted lines of my couch cushion all down the side of my face. i must have looked ludicrous.

a belated valentine from me. hope you all had a good one.

this weekend i realized i was officially old.
at the 1039 party [inlink]jacksmack,26[/inlink] this weekend i was waiting in the bathroom line behind several (suspiciously young looking) girls. they were engaged in what seemed a fairly intense conversation on how their friend was a "hollaback girl." now i have heard the song of course - but i have never heard humans use this in actually context. i had no idea what they were even talking about. i don't even know what a hollaback girl is! upon relaying this story to (e:jacksmack) the next day he advised me that i had no idea what the definition was because i am old. of course neither did he - so i didn't feel so bad.

i think the highlight of my weekend was getting a new set of couches via my mom. finally i can rest easy on my own couch. the pair we had before did not offer comfort whatsoever. the one was stained in puke (and god knows what else) and up on blocks. the other we received from a random hippie off the street and it was missing the bottom, so in fact the cushions were resting on a tangled web of wires and one plank of wood board which in fact broke in half not too long. mmm i can't wait to go home and watch 24 on them.

that information on the tunnel to the pink and (e:robin)'s pictures really peaked my interest. this weekend i did some more digging. i found out that in the 1920's they covered up approximately 5 miles of the scajacquada river to make room for more houses. there is literally an underground river passing under a good portion of the city. not really as Ghostbusters 2 as you would think though. the water level is pretty low. you can walk through most of it. which is almost scarier. one of the entries is right at Forest Lawn Cementary. anyone up for a little adventure when the weather is warmer?

i decided this weekend that i really hate merlins. it has made it in my top ten list of over hates, along with cats and starter jackets. it smells very badly in there, the bartender is very mean and the pool table is illly placed.

i saw transamerica on monday. very well done...felicity huffman is amazing in it. i think the best part of the movie, though, is when you pay with a $10 bill at the north park theater you get a $2 bill as change!

this is one of those crazy weeks where i can't say no to anything. after the movie monday, me and theresa wandered over to sidebar where my roommate was. there was an open bar and free pizza. my kinda nite. they even let me control the music in which i mixed up splashdown, charlie parker, the cure and broken social scene. had a good conversation with some girl about spain. my have ruined my chances with another guy when he overheard me giving the telnet address for the entire starwars movie in code.
last nite my roommate and i stopped into broadway joes and indulged in some $2 pitchers. tonite we'll go to luna as normal. tomorrow ill be a the sabres game. full week. but it makes it go faster.

one of my girlfriends made an AMAZING dvd for me for my birthday with interviews and pictures and what not. most of the actual footage is from my birthday party - and most of it is ridiculous. (aka theresa talking about how i am a very agressive skater and some guy from my high who claims i was his favorite track runner because he could watch my 'jumblys' go up and down.) there is a shot of a group of (e:strip)pers taking over my living room and a really funny shot of what looks like 2 of you rolling a joint - but when zoomed in it is a brain teaser puzzle you are playing with. after the superbowl i made everyone watch this 3 times back to back. it plays the allman brother 'jessica' in the background for part of it, as i was named after this song. i wish i could find a way to load it on here....

well i think groundhogs day is my equivalent to friday the 13th. i had a really, really bizarre day.

first of all. i found out that my best man friend is actually on (e:strip). granted, he only has like 3 entries...but still. my jon simon is really (e:jacksmack). about as weird as when i found out keith was (e:keith).

ok that isn't that weird - but i am getting to the good stuff.


weird thing #1:
ok this is really awful - but apparently a girl with the same name as me is a baby killer. i have never heard of anyone else with same name as me - and this first one has to be for something like this. people were emailing this article to me all day:


weird thing #2:
ok this is vaguely embarrassing on my part. yesterday on the way to work i was scanning through the radio. i happen to catch the tail end of a conversation in which they were discussing the subway tunnels. this intrigues me. ( i am obsessed with mole people.) . i wanted to know more. the embarrassing part is that i was listening to shredd and regan. when i got to work i emailed mr. shredd:

---

Original Message

---

From: coleman8227@aol.com [mailto:coleman8227@aol.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 10:36 AM
To: Shredd@wedg.com
Subject: subway tunnels and breasts


hey guys -
i caught the end of you talking about subway tunnels under the pink this morning and it has been driving me nuts. what were you talking about? i am intrigued? can you send me a link or something?

thanks,

jessica coleman


i entitled it as i did because i wanted something to get his attention. i figured with all the email they must receive he wouldn't read it with out a catchy subject line. i got this 10 minutes later:

From: Ted Shredd
To: coleman8227@aol.com
Subject: RE: subway tunnels and breasts
Date: Thu, 2 Feb 2006 11:16:47 -0500

I don't know of a link. I guess there are a series of tunnels under Buffalo that were used during Prohibition, and one goes from The Pink to the subway on Main. By the way your message subject said tunnels and breasts. Where do the breasts come into this?

weird thing #3
apparently the shredster doesn't get as much email as i thought. my dad called me tens minutes later questioning as to why i was emailing shredd about my breasts. apparently they mentioned on air and used my full name. i should claimed the baby killer sent it. god now people think i listen to shred and reagan.


went to see this show last nite with (e:jacksmack) and paul. (speaking of paul there is a beamer show tonite at merlins you all should be at.) it was at the polish social club on filmore. actually it was a lot of fun. awesome beer selection for very cheap. jon was telling me how the last time he had been was after the mass nude photo taken at the train station. i launched into a story of my old boss and how he took his daughters to that, about his lazy eye and about how weird he was. not a few minutes later - i kid you not - my old boss strolled in. into a fairly hardcore show at the polish social club.

goes to show you have to be careful what you say in public. buffalo is a smaller town then we think! everyone is listening.

also i finally talked to my crush. he came up and asked what my problem was because i was staring at him last nite. apparently i am creepier then i thought. regardless, he asked if (e:jacksmack) was my boyfriend. i said no. upon hearing this (e:jacksmack) replied, "no, no you can fuck her if you want." (nice, nice friend.) the guy actually replied, "cool. can i fuck you too?" blah, he's part of the movement. what a disappointment.