My first exam in grad school is about to begin. I am really nervous. I have a study sheet and I went over a lot of the stuff that will be on the exam, but I really should have taken practice problems and exams to prepare me for the pressure. I have to go and stop studying and just relax. Otherwise I will be too nervous to do anything. My biggest fear is that I get into the exam get nervous and seize up and can't think through the problems clearly. Cause most of the problems can be done if you just think through them. It is a lot of common sense. But if I start to get too nervous, I might start to confuse myself rather than just think through the problems. Wish me luck.
-Jesse

Ugh, I am such a bad student. First it was putting off completing my budget til the last second. Now it is studying for my final. We have two review sessions for my final on friday. In both we go over one practice exam. Both times I have not done the practice test going into the review session causing them to be not that helpful to me. I really got to get on studying. If I fuck it up it is my own fault.

Also, you know you are in a school of ever achievers when you have to get to class 10 minutes early to get a seat. I just had to go drop my stuff at class and then come back and post to be sure I can have a seat.

Another random thought, in avoiding studying for my exam, I have been watching a lot of South Park, and Cartman is just hilarious. He is such a great character. I especially love his hippy bashing, for example, Cartman talking in his sleep while having a nightmare, "Hippies, Hippies. They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad." For more choice quotes, here is a website . Well, I got to go to a review session I am not prepared for. Take care.

-Jesse

So I really didn't have anything to write but then I looked at my friend jess' journal and there was a quiz about your sense of humor . Here are my results:

the Wit
(60% dark, 39% spontaneous, 38% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK


You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean you're pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most effort to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

Also, you probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: .

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais



My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
    You scored higher than 68% on dark
    You scored higher than 31% on spontaneous
    You scored higher than 64% on vulgar

For better or worse, it is done. My daycare budget is complete and was handed in at 9:00 this morning. All in all, I am very proud of the ways I thought to balance it and am happy with how thoroughly I examined the problem and the solutions. I think I really gained a good understanding of the dynamics of budgeting and felt that my method of calculation was much more accurate than a lot of other ways. At the same time, my presentation is pretty poor because I rushed at the end and was not sure the best way to present the information. I hope that the thoroughness of my analysis comes through inspite of my muddled presentation. But I do fear that the fact that TAs have to grade so many and that I can't really defend and explain the methods used, what I did will not be noticed and may hurt me because of my lack of definition. Ah well.

Today was a pretty good class (the last minute budgeting is why I am posting now and not earlier). The stuff we were talking about was really clicking and it made me think about different and innovative ways to create tax structures. It was like a whole puzzle laid out before me and I really want to start playing with it. (Wow,reading that tax structures line again, I am such a nerd).

Any way, right now I am enjoying some respite from budgeting until I have to start studying for my final on friday. I hope I can pull all the stuff I learned together because in doing this stuff, I find that either everything is clicking and the budget just flows or every little step is excrutiatingly difficult and you get frustrated and can't pull anything together for the life of you. Lets hope friday brings more of the former.

On to traveling news, my family is off to cancun to do a makeup vacation after last week's category 5 hurricane caused them to cancel their first attempt. Also Elena will be visiting this weekend. It will be nice to see her. I also got a few copies of the report I did for Citizens Against Government waste in the mail the other day. It is nice to have a hard copy for when it is pulled off the website or whatever.

My music club CDs finally came. I am soooo excited. I have waited for these 6 free cds for goddamn ever. I got the Beach Boys - Pet Sounds, Moby - Songs (his early greatest hits record); Velvet Underground - Greatest Hits; Echo and the Bunnymen - Greatest Hits; The Cars - Greatest Hits; and Marilyn Manson - Greatest HIts. Yes, I know there are a lot of greatest hits records and only poseurs buy greatest hits records, but I am trying to expand my music collection and explore new artists that I know a few of their songs and think I might like and if they tickle my fancy, I can purchase more of them. Anyway. That is all. I have to go and do all the stuff I didn't do the past few days cause of my budget.

bye.
-Jesse

It is official now, Lance has wone 7 straight Tour de Frances. Watching the last stage was pretty interesting. They have to do 8 laps on the champs de ellyse, which is cobble stone. This makes it very difficult and causes a ton of crashes, but because it was drizzling, the tour officials initiall had cancelled the time bonuses on the part making the players final times when they started on the champs de ellyse their final time. But then it got sunny and in the end they did end up awarding time bonuses, which screwed and American rider Levi Leipheimer who was in the 5th position less than a second ahead of Alexander Vinokourov. Vinokourov ended winning the stage after the 8 laps and got a time bonus pushing him ahead of Levi for the 5th spot. I like vinokourov generally, he has a lot of fight in him, but I felt that Levi got screwed and couldn't even challenge for the time bonus cause he didn't know there was going to be one.

Anyway, I have one more day until my budget project is due. Saturday I had a huge break thorough after must frustration and figured out a more accurate way to calculate the number of employees. I will have to run it by the TAs today to see if it is correct. It still gives me a higher number than what they say is correct but I think they might be rounding incorrectly. Yesterday was pretty rough and it had gotten the best of me for most of the day. But after a nice soak in the tub, I destressed a bit and got a lot done. Hopefully I can push through and get the last bit done and done well for tomorrow.

Well class beckons.
-Jesse

Yesterday was no good and just frustrating. A lot of things that should have been much easier were just a pain in the ass and some things that should have been done are still not. arrrrggghhhh.

Ugh. Republicans also are getting on my nerves too. Not all Republicans, just the ones who shoot their mouth off and sound like morons and/or assholes. There are a couple of people in my program that fall in to this catergory. The more I hear them speak, the more I feel repulsed by them. What comes out of their mouthes always sounds selfserving and greedy. Last year I saw former Bush press secretary Ari Fleisher speak at my school. He made the point that the one thing he would change about how the Republican party presents itself is that they do not show compassion for others. As a Republican, I could not agree more with this statement. I am sure there are some Republicans that are greedy self-serving bastards,but many do care about people who get the short end of the stick. I am just sick of the greedy ones with the loud mouthes being the ones representing our party.

Gotta get to calss,
-Jesse

Day 2 of daily posting. So right now for my Public Budgeting class I am working on a budget for a hypothetical daycare center. (If you would like to see the actual assignment, here it is ). I like it but it is such a pain in the ass. We are working in excel and the budget has to be "flexible" - meaning that you have one page of inputs and the second page, which is the actual budget, cannot contain any numbers on it just refernces to numbers on the inputs sheet. It is very useful but it can cause problems in that one little mistake or bad assumption can throw everything off. This becomes really annoying when the TAs keep telling me that my deficit is still high. So last night, I went through the calculations by hand but I forgot to email the revised excel sheet to myself. So now before I can work on it at school, I have to go back to my apartment to email to myself. It is just annoying.

Today we have a brown bag lunch on the specialization I want to have on my MPA. Some key professors in the State and Local Government Financial Analysis and Management program will come talk to us about it and their classes. Hopefully it will be useful.

Now for some random thoughts:
1. Everyone in Graduate school is married or engaged regardless of their age.
2. I am really obsessed with Billy Talent songs lately, but I don't know if I could handle the whole album. It might be a little too whiney. But I really like the singles. To get a sampling go to the videos page
3. Packing a lunch for yourself is a good way to save money, but it sucks when you haven't gone shopping for any snack foods so you just have to make two sandwiches for yourself instead. I guess I better get on that.

Oh well, I guess that is all for now. (e:Mike) I would be happy to help out in your soap opera if I can. Let me know and good luck finding people. All (e:strip)pers should go and do a part it was fun the last time I did it.

Take care,
-Jesse

Lately, I have been obsessed with the Tour de France. Watching it is now part of my nightly routine and I haven't missed more than 3 stages. (I do kind of cheat because I watch the 3 hour nightly shortened replay of the tour rather than watching the entire thing live in the morning). I was surprised at how exciting it is. There is so much strategy involved and whether you work with your opponents or not. I am quite impressed. Unfortunately, there are only 5 days left. But I guess it will be good for me to not waste that much time doing essentially nothing each night.

I am also going to try and start posting for a little each morning. I arrive on campus each day a half hour before my class starts. I usually use this time to check my email, read (e:strip) etc. But now I will try posting each day too so I can be a bit more regular in my entries rather than going weeks at a time without posting anything.

Well that is all for now. Got to get to class.

-Jesse

Hello all,
I guess you know that the world is moving fast for you when in three consecutive posts you are living in three different cities, are in two different schools and have one sexy new user pic.

I am currently 2.5 hours down the thruway in syracuse at Syracuse University's Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs . My masters program started on tuesday. I am working on my MPA (masters of public administration - think MBA but for government/nonprofits) with a specialization in State and Local Government Financial Analysis and Management. It is a one year program with summer sessions at the beginning and end of the program. Right now I am in a one credit colloquim that will last a week on ethics and public administration. If you want to see what I am doing at any given time this week, here is a link to the sylabus . It is also a get to know one another type course. After this, I have a 3week/3credit course on public budgeting and then another 3 week/3credit course on public administration and democracy.

So far, the course has kind of sucked. Well, let me revise that, the content that we have done is pretty interesting and taught well. Today we watched a really good documentary called "Grandfathers and Revolutions" it is about the grandson of the prime minister of hungary interviewing his grandfather on why he called Soviet troops in to crush a rebellion and we discussed the abu grad prison abuses and the organizational failures that caused them. The problem with it is that it is all get-to-know you stuff, and I hate that especially with such a large group (there are 134 in my program). And there are all these afterhours get to know you things, that I absolutely can't stand because I hate having to engage in forced small talk. It wears me out and I feel awkward the entire time. As a result, I have skipped all of the optional interactions, which is bad because when I go to class, I really don't talk to anyone. I should probably just suck it up and deal with it but I hate it so. I just want public budgeting to start, both because I want to see what it is like and to get through this bs. Hopefully after this week it will get better. It is ranked the best program in the country for what I want to do and people keep saying how intense it is. I just want to get started and get into it.

On to other annoyances. So, I moved most of my stuff to my apartment on friday with (e:Maureen) (thanks again for your help). And drove back the same day. I was going to move for good on monday when my dad got back from work. My dad called me tuesday night to tell me that work was not sending him back to buffalo but to indianapolis and chicago (my dad is a truck driver for Yellow - the orange trucks that say "Yellow" on them). So when I call my mother the next morning to tell her this, she kinda freaks out because she hates driving on the Thruway. She asks if she can call me back in a minute to collect her thoughts. When she calls me back, she asks if I can be ready in a half hour. I say, no way, because I have a bunch of supplies I still have to buy - including a long coaxle cable for my tv, a microwave, etc. In addition, on Tuesday morning I have to hand in to Syracuse a resume and memo on where I would like to work after I gradute. I had finished the resume but had not started on the memo and I do not have a printer at school (I use free university printing but I couldn't use it before class). She says that Rich, her ex boyfriend (but who is still close with my sisters and I) can drive but he has a family event that he can only get to if we leave immediately. I flip out and get angry, but she insists that she can't drive on the thruway. She says she can come out here in a week with the rest of the stuff I need when her friend can drive. I get annoyed and hang up the phone and rush to get anywhere near ready. Three hours later (I did not speak to my mom for the first hour of the ride), I am in Syracuse without many things that I need.

This leads to my second set of annoyances, once I am here, there is nothing to do. I can't hook up my tv to cable, the internet won't work until I install university privided anti-virus. Ugh. I sucked knowing that my computer was so close to high-speed internet but so far away.

I also stole my father's printer in order to print my resume and memo once they were done. But in order to use it, I had to use my dial up to download the driver at an incredibly slow rate.

My computer annoyances do not end there. When I got to school I bought the windows xp upgrade for my laptop (it is moody and still uses windows '98). At school, I was able to get the academic price. This would also allow me to use the wireless card I had previously purcased but would not work on windows '98. Well, my moody computer decided that my cd-rom drive does not want to work (It does this unfortunatly pretty regularly). As a result, I have a $99 windows upgrade I can't use until my computer decides to led my cd drive work. (If anyone has any ideas as to how to upgrade without the CD and without the internet because I cannot install the anti-virus program to get on the internet without my cd drive, I would be open to any advice).

ALso, the shuttle to campus does not run on weekends.

Well, I guess that is enough for the negativity. I will switch to a more pleasant topic - I went to a Billy Corgan concert :-) It was saturday night in Toronto. I drove up by mysefl in my cousin's car. I love driving on the QEW because those canadians make me look like a good driver. The openers were pretty good. The first band was The Crimea (e:Jill) , I think you might like them. The next band I really liked - Doris Henson The lead singer really looks like matt lillard They were really good and I would have bought their cd if they weren't charging $20 canadian. They even had a tromboner who looked incredibly out of place compared to the rest of the hipster looking band.

So, I originally had reserved balcony seats because that is all what was left when I bought them, but I was able to sneak out on the floor, which was much better because I was much close and seeing over people on the floor is nver a problem for me. The concert was at the Carlu which is on Younge street, but the stupid part about the venue is that it is above a mall-type building and you can only get to the venue by elevator, which caused much waiting on the way up and down.

On to BC. I will start out by saying that I will see every billy corgan concert I can for the rest of my life no matter how bad the album he puts out are. The latest album is a tribute to his 80s new wave heroes. As a result, the band all came out in black military-like over coats with big boots etc. They looked like they came out of the 80s new wave scene. When the pumpkins put out electronicish records, at least when they played live, they use guitars , bass and a regular drum kit making electronic songs more rock live.This was not the case at this concert. Billy was the only one on stage with a guitar. There was no bass. The drums were electronic, and the other two band members were using key boards. As a result, there was no rocking. The songs sounded how they sounded on the album - electronic and boring.

The good parts of the show were as follows: 1) the female in the band is very attractive even though she acted a bit too much like machine/billy's puppet when she was singing back up, 2) he did a tease of the pumpkins classis "Today" during one on the encores, 3) he made fun of live 8 (the concert was on the same day in barrie) by saying he just got back from live 8 where he preformed a rap medley with DMX and the Barenaked ladies, 4) the backgroud of the stage was really cool. It was one large white board that lit with computer graphics kind of like Windows media player visualitation, but better and that went with the songs really well.

Overall, it was BC and how can I ever pass up any taste of the pumpkins I can get.

Well this post has got somewhat out of hand. I would like to end by apologizing to my friends in the -lo for not getting to say goodbye. I really had a great time hanging out this sumemr and wish I could have been in Buffalo longer. If you ever want to take the 2.5 hour ride down the thruway to visit you are more than welcome to.

Hope all is well with all of you.
Take care of yourself and one another.

-Jesse

Hello All,
It has been a while since I posted to say the least. I am back in the -lo and have been for a while. Graduation was nice. The family came down. It was nice to finally get them in dc and show them the sightes. It was sad to say goodbye to my friends. I think the worst people to say goodbye to are those people that you like but you know you are not close enough to to maintain much of a friendship once you won't just run in to one another. Because you know you will stay in touch with your close friends. The people you don't like, well, fuck 'em. But these people kinda fall between the cracks.

I would also like to give a shout out to my friends over the pond in scotland. I hope you enjoy your time there and I will try and be a good friend and respond to communications. You certainly are missed, but make it worth the missing by having an amazing time. I am proud of you guys for doing it. That takes a lot of balls, and, quite frankly, I had some serious doubts about it. But you have put all my doubts to rest and then some. Just have a good time, stay safe, and we will make up for the partying you missed here when you get back.

On to other news. I just got back from my family's cabin in West Clarksville, NY . It is in the southern tier near Olean and Cuba. But unlike other times when we take a two hour drive out there, my uncle and I rode our bikes out there. We started at 5:15 am on Wednesday and finished at 4:15 pm. Of those 11 hours, approx 7 were spent biking. We went 74 miles at an average speed of 10mph, a peak speed of 35 mph (going down some of those hills is the southern tier are awesome, terrifying, but awesome). I went through 6 big bottles of gatorade, 3 bottles of water 7 powerade power gels (an energy gel in flavors of raspberry cream and tropical fruit that can be best described as thick), a bag of pretzels, a back of chex mix trail mix, and 6 ibuproven. My ass and knees were/are killing me. The hardestt partsto ride were the hills between franklinville and cuba and the big hill between cuba and our cabin. The worst part of the ride was getting back on the bikes after a break and every part of your body was screaming to get off the bike. We took about six major breaks, one each 10-15 miles, where we would stretch and down wretched energy gel. Two of my other uncles were going to try and do the trip in 2 days but after 3 flats and walking as much as they rode, they took it as a sign and my dad picked them up. All in all it was a neat experience and I am glad I did it. Would I do it again? Talk to me when I stop hurting.

I guess that is all for now, except that I have been listening to weezer's pinkerton a lot tonight (I am on spin #3). It is a great album and is just fitting my mood for whatever reason. And for that reason I posted all the lyrics below. I used to do this when I had to write required journals for classes (post-dating a semester's worth of writing the night before they were due). I would say that a song fit my mood perfectly at a particular time and then cut and paste the lyrics without giving much of an explination, but it did fill up space with little to no though and/or effort. Either way, here they are from this website .

Tired Of Sex
I'm tired
So tired
I'm tired of having sex (so tired)
I'm spread
So thin
I don't know who I am (who I am)
Monday night I'm making Jen
Tuesday night I'm making Lyn
Wednesday night I'm making Catherine
Oh why can't I be making love come true?
Whoa
I'm beat
Beet red
Ashamed of what I said (what I said)
I'm sorry
Here I go
I know I'm a sinner but I can't say no (say no)
Thursday night I'm making Denise
Friday night I'm making Sharise
Saturday night I'm making Louise
So why can't I be making love come true?
Tonight I'm down on my knees
Tonight I'm begging you please
Tonight tonight please
So why can't I be making love come true?

Getchoo
This is beginning to hurt
This is beginning to get serious
It used to be a game
Now it's a crying shame
'cause you don't wanna play around no more
Sometimes I push too hard
Sometimes you fall and skin your knee
I never meant to do
All that I've done to you
Please baby say it's not too late
To getchoo, uh huh
Getchoo, uh huh
Getchoo, uh huh
Getchoo getchoo getchoo
Uh huh
You know this is breaking me up
You think that I'm some kind of freak, uh huh
But if you come back to me
Then you will surely see
That i'm just fooling around
I can't believe (I can't believe)
What you've done to me
What I did to them
You've done to me, whoa
This is beginning to hurt

No Other One
My girl's a liar
But I'll stand beside her
She's all I've got and I don't want to be alone
My girl don't see me
When she's with my friends
She's all I've got and I don't want to be alone
No, there is no other one
No, there is no other one
I can't have any other one
Though I would now I never could with one
All of the drugs she does
Scare me real good
She's got a tattoo and two pet snakes
Nobody knows me like her
Nobody knows her like me
We're all we've got and we don't want to be alone

Why Bother?
know I should get next to you
You got a look that made me think you're cool
But it's just sexual attraction
Not something real
So I'd rather keep whackin
Why bother
It's gonna hurt me
It's gonna kill when you desert me
This happened to me twice before
It won't happen to me anymore
I've known a lotta girls before
What's the harm in knowing one more?
Maybe we could even get together
Maybe you could break my heart next summer
It's a crying shame I'm all alone
Not with you - nor her - nor anyone
Won't you knock me on my head
Crack it open let me outta here
Why bother - it's gonna hurt me

Across the Sea
You are eighteen year old girl
Who live in small city of Japan
You heard me on the radio
About one year ago
And you wanted to know
All about me, and my hobbies
My favorite food and my birthday
Why are you so far away from me?
I need help and you're way across the sea
I could never touch you
I think it would be wrong
I've got your letter
You've got my song
They don't make stationary like this where I'm from
So fragile
So refined
So I sniff (so I sniff)
And i lick (and I lick)
Your envelope and fall to little pieces every time
I wonder what clothes you wear to school
I wonder how you decorate your room
I wonder how you touch yourself
And curse myself for being across the sea
At ten I shaved my head and tried to be a monk
I thought the older women would like me if I did
You see ma, I'm a good little boy (good little boy)
It's all your fault, momma
It's all your fault
Goddam this business is really lame
I gotta live on an island to find the juice
So you send
Me your love
From all around the world
As if I could live on words and dreams and a million screams
Oh, how I need a hand in mine to feel
Why are you so far away from me?
I got your letter
You got my song

The Good Life
When I look in the mirror
I can't believe what I see
Tell me who's that funky dude
Starin' back at me
Broken beaten down
Can't even get around
Without an old man came
I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold
Bitter and alone
Excuse the bitchin
I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling
'cause feeling is pain
As everything I need
Is denied me
Everything I want
Is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame
Nobody but me
And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty making sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the good life
It's time I got back
It's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah
Screw this crap I've had it
I ain't no Mr. cool
I'm a pig I'm a dog
So 'scuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody
Ain't gonna 'cause a scene
Just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? Hear me? I want sugar in my tea
I wanna go back
I wanna go back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
It's time I got back
It's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah

El Scorcho
El Scorcho, Aye Carumba!
Goddamn you half-Japanese girls
Do it to me every time
Oh, the redhead said you shred the cello
And I'm jello, baby
But you want talk won't look won't think of me
I'm the epitome
Of Public Enemy
Why you wanna go and do me like that?
Come down on the street and dance with me
I'm a lot like you so please
Hello I'm here I'm waiting
I think I'd be good for you
And you you'd be good for me
I asked you to go to the Green Day concert
You said you never heard of them (how cool is that?)
How cool is that?
So I went to your room and read your diary
"Watching grunge leg drop New Jack through a presstable"
And then my heart stopped:
"Listening to Cio-Cio San
fall in love all over again."
How stupid is it
I can't talk about it
I gotta sing about it
And make a record of my heart
How stupid is it
Won't you gimme a minute
Just come up to me
And say hello (to my heart)
How stupid is it
For all I know you want me too
Or maybe you just don't know what to do
And maybe you're scared to say
I'm falling for you
I wish I could get my head outta the sand
'cause I think we'd make a good team
And you would keep my fingernails clean
But that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize
'cause I can't even look in your eyes without shakin'
And I ain't fakin'
I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon

Pink Triangle
When I'm stable long enough
I start to look around for love
See a sweet and floral print
My mind begins the arrangements
But when I start to feel that pull
Turns out I just pulled myself
She would never go with me
Were I the last girl on earth
I'm dumb she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
A pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Might have smoked a few in my time
But never thought it was a crime
Knew the day would surely come
When I'd chill and settle down
When I think I've found a good old fashioned girl
Then she put me in my place
If everyone's a little queer
Can't she be a little straight
Let me know the truth

Falling for You
Holy cow I think I've got one here
Now just what am I supposed to do?
I've got a number of irrational fears
That I'd like to share with you
First there's rules about old goats like me
Hanging around with chicks like you
But I do like you
And another one: you say 'like' too much
But I'm shakin at your touch
I like you way too much
My baby I'm afraid I'm falling for you
I'd do about anything to get the hell out alive
Or maybe I would rather settle down with you
Holy moly baby wouldn't you know it
Just as I was bustin' loose
I gotta go turn in my rock star card
And get fat and old with you
'cause I'm a burning candle
You're a gentle moth
Teaching me to lick a little bit kinder
And I do like you you're the lucky one
No I'm the lucky one
Holy sweet goddam you left your cello in the basement
I admired the glowing stars
And tried to play a tune
I can't believe how bad I suck it's true
What could you possibly see in little ol' 3-chord me?
But I do like you and you like me too
I'm ready let's do it baby

Butterfly
Yesterday i went outside
With my momma's mason jar
Caught a lovely butterfly
When I woke up today
Looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in her breast
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The ghost slips away
Smell you on my hand for days
I can't wash away your scent
If I'm a dog then you're a bitch
I guess you're as real as me
Maybe I can live with that
Maybe I need fantasy
Life of chasing butterfly
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The ghost slips away
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain't never coming back
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

I guess I should really lay off the lesbian asian porn.
-Jesse