Hello All,
It has been a while since I posted to say the least. I am back in the -lo and have been for a while. Graduation was nice. The family came down. It was nice to finally get them in dc and show them the sightes. It was sad to say goodbye to my friends. I think the worst people to say goodbye to are those people that you like but you know you are not close enough to to maintain much of a friendship once you won't just run in to one another. Because you know you will stay in touch with your close friends. The people you don't like, well, fuck 'em. But these people kinda fall between the cracks.

I would also like to give a shout out to my friends over the pond in scotland. I hope you enjoy your time there and I will try and be a good friend and respond to communications. You certainly are missed, but make it worth the missing by having an amazing time. I am proud of you guys for doing it. That takes a lot of balls, and, quite frankly, I had some serious doubts about it. But you have put all my doubts to rest and then some. Just have a good time, stay safe, and we will make up for the partying you missed here when you get back.

On to other news. I just got back from my family's cabin in West Clarksville, NY . It is in the southern tier near Olean and Cuba. But unlike other times when we take a two hour drive out there, my uncle and I rode our bikes out there. We started at 5:15 am on Wednesday and finished at 4:15 pm. Of those 11 hours, approx 7 were spent biking. We went 74 miles at an average speed of 10mph, a peak speed of 35 mph (going down some of those hills is the southern tier are awesome, terrifying, but awesome). I went through 6 big bottles of gatorade, 3 bottles of water 7 powerade power gels (an energy gel in flavors of raspberry cream and tropical fruit that can be best described as thick), a bag of pretzels, a back of chex mix trail mix, and 6 ibuproven. My ass and knees were/are killing me. The hardestt partsto ride were the hills between franklinville and cuba and the big hill between cuba and our cabin. The worst part of the ride was getting back on the bikes after a break and every part of your body was screaming to get off the bike. We took about six major breaks, one each 10-15 miles, where we would stretch and down wretched energy gel. Two of my other uncles were going to try and do the trip in 2 days but after 3 flats and walking as much as they rode, they took it as a sign and my dad picked them up. All in all it was a neat experience and I am glad I did it. Would I do it again? Talk to me when I stop hurting.

I guess that is all for now, except that I have been listening to weezer's pinkerton a lot tonight (I am on spin #3). It is a great album and is just fitting my mood for whatever reason. And for that reason I posted all the lyrics below. I used to do this when I had to write required journals for classes (post-dating a semester's worth of writing the night before they were due). I would say that a song fit my mood perfectly at a particular time and then cut and paste the lyrics without giving much of an explination, but it did fill up space with little to no though and/or effort. Either way, here they are from this website .

Tired Of Sex
I'm tired
So tired
I'm tired of having sex (so tired)
I'm spread
So thin
I don't know who I am (who I am)
Monday night I'm making Jen
Tuesday night I'm making Lyn
Wednesday night I'm making Catherine
Oh why can't I be making love come true?
Whoa
I'm beat
Beet red
Ashamed of what I said (what I said)
I'm sorry
Here I go
I know I'm a sinner but I can't say no (say no)
Thursday night I'm making Denise
Friday night I'm making Sharise
Saturday night I'm making Louise
So why can't I be making love come true?
Tonight I'm down on my knees
Tonight I'm begging you please
Tonight tonight please
So why can't I be making love come true?

Getchoo
This is beginning to hurt
This is beginning to get serious
It used to be a game
Now it's a crying shame
'cause you don't wanna play around no more
Sometimes I push too hard
Sometimes you fall and skin your knee
I never meant to do
All that I've done to you
Please baby say it's not too late
To getchoo, uh huh
Getchoo, uh huh
Getchoo, uh huh
Getchoo getchoo getchoo
Uh huh
You know this is breaking me up
You think that I'm some kind of freak, uh huh
But if you come back to me
Then you will surely see
That i'm just fooling around
I can't believe (I can't believe)
What you've done to me
What I did to them
You've done to me, whoa
This is beginning to hurt

No Other One
My girl's a liar
But I'll stand beside her
She's all I've got and I don't want to be alone
My girl don't see me
When she's with my friends
She's all I've got and I don't want to be alone
No, there is no other one
No, there is no other one
I can't have any other one
Though I would now I never could with one
All of the drugs she does
Scare me real good
She's got a tattoo and two pet snakes
Nobody knows me like her
Nobody knows her like me
We're all we've got and we don't want to be alone

Why Bother?
know I should get next to you
You got a look that made me think you're cool
But it's just sexual attraction
Not something real
So I'd rather keep whackin
Why bother
It's gonna hurt me
It's gonna kill when you desert me
This happened to me twice before
It won't happen to me anymore
I've known a lotta girls before
What's the harm in knowing one more?
Maybe we could even get together
Maybe you could break my heart next summer
It's a crying shame I'm all alone
Not with you - nor her - nor anyone
Won't you knock me on my head
Crack it open let me outta here
Why bother - it's gonna hurt me

Across the Sea
You are eighteen year old girl
Who live in small city of Japan
You heard me on the radio
About one year ago
And you wanted to know
All about me, and my hobbies
My favorite food and my birthday
Why are you so far away from me?
I need help and you're way across the sea
I could never touch you
I think it would be wrong
I've got your letter
You've got my song
They don't make stationary like this where I'm from
So fragile
So refined
So I sniff (so I sniff)
And i lick (and I lick)
Your envelope and fall to little pieces every time
I wonder what clothes you wear to school
I wonder how you decorate your room
I wonder how you touch yourself
And curse myself for being across the sea
At ten I shaved my head and tried to be a monk
I thought the older women would like me if I did
You see ma, I'm a good little boy (good little boy)
It's all your fault, momma
It's all your fault
Goddam this business is really lame
I gotta live on an island to find the juice
So you send
Me your love
From all around the world
As if I could live on words and dreams and a million screams
Oh, how I need a hand in mine to feel
Why are you so far away from me?
I got your letter
You got my song

The Good Life
When I look in the mirror
I can't believe what I see
Tell me who's that funky dude
Starin' back at me
Broken beaten down
Can't even get around
Without an old man came
I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold
Bitter and alone
Excuse the bitchin
I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling
'cause feeling is pain
As everything I need
Is denied me
Everything I want
Is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame
Nobody but me
And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty making sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the good life
It's time I got back
It's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah
Screw this crap I've had it
I ain't no Mr. cool
I'm a pig I'm a dog
So 'scuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody
Ain't gonna 'cause a scene
Just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? Hear me? I want sugar in my tea
I wanna go back
I wanna go back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
It's time I got back
It's time I got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah

El Scorcho
El Scorcho, Aye Carumba!
Goddamn you half-Japanese girls
Do it to me every time
Oh, the redhead said you shred the cello
And I'm jello, baby
But you want talk won't look won't think of me
I'm the epitome
Of Public Enemy
Why you wanna go and do me like that?
Come down on the street and dance with me
I'm a lot like you so please
Hello I'm here I'm waiting
I think I'd be good for you
And you you'd be good for me
I asked you to go to the Green Day concert
You said you never heard of them (how cool is that?)
How cool is that?
So I went to your room and read your diary
"Watching grunge leg drop New Jack through a presstable"
And then my heart stopped:
"Listening to Cio-Cio San
fall in love all over again."
How stupid is it
I can't talk about it
I gotta sing about it
And make a record of my heart
How stupid is it
Won't you gimme a minute
Just come up to me
And say hello (to my heart)
How stupid is it
For all I know you want me too
Or maybe you just don't know what to do
And maybe you're scared to say
I'm falling for you
I wish I could get my head outta the sand
'cause I think we'd make a good team
And you would keep my fingernails clean
But that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize
'cause I can't even look in your eyes without shakin'
And I ain't fakin'
I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon

Pink Triangle
When I'm stable long enough
I start to look around for love
See a sweet and floral print
My mind begins the arrangements
But when I start to feel that pull
Turns out I just pulled myself
She would never go with me
Were I the last girl on earth
I'm dumb she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
A pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Might have smoked a few in my time
But never thought it was a crime
Knew the day would surely come
When I'd chill and settle down
When I think I've found a good old fashioned girl
Then she put me in my place
If everyone's a little queer
Can't she be a little straight
Let me know the truth

Falling for You
Holy cow I think I've got one here
Now just what am I supposed to do?
I've got a number of irrational fears
That I'd like to share with you
First there's rules about old goats like me
Hanging around with chicks like you
But I do like you
And another one: you say 'like' too much
But I'm shakin at your touch
I like you way too much
My baby I'm afraid I'm falling for you
I'd do about anything to get the hell out alive
Or maybe I would rather settle down with you
Holy moly baby wouldn't you know it
Just as I was bustin' loose
I gotta go turn in my rock star card
And get fat and old with you
'cause I'm a burning candle
You're a gentle moth
Teaching me to lick a little bit kinder
And I do like you you're the lucky one
No I'm the lucky one
Holy sweet goddam you left your cello in the basement
I admired the glowing stars
And tried to play a tune
I can't believe how bad I suck it's true
What could you possibly see in little ol' 3-chord me?
But I do like you and you like me too
I'm ready let's do it baby

Butterfly
Yesterday i went outside
With my momma's mason jar
Caught a lovely butterfly
When I woke up today
Looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in her breast
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The ghost slips away
Smell you on my hand for days
I can't wash away your scent
If I'm a dog then you're a bitch
I guess you're as real as me
Maybe I can live with that
Maybe I need fantasy
Life of chasing butterfly
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The ghost slips away
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain't never coming back
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

I guess I should really lay off the lesbian asian porn.
-Jesse