02/22/05 06:34 - ID#23266

um, does anyone...

say things during conversation just to entertain themselves, such as throwing in lines about fucking goats and that fucking a goat is actually preferable when compared to fucking a woman/man, because you won't have to worry about calling them too soon or too late afterwards...the only problem with having sex with a goat is the lack of cuddling afterwards. goats, though they are quite passionate, are not the sentimental creatures we hope them to be, and i think that if you are looking for a cuddler you may be more of a sheep person...

are there any other animals that "make love" to animals outside of their own species or are humans the only ones? If we are the only animals that do, does it make us smarter for exploiting other resources with which to "make it"? maybe that's a hidden reason for animal domestication? easy lays on the lonely farm?

it must have been hard to have been an "old timey" farmer guy. I mean, with the getting up wicked fucking early and making sure your daughters aren't you know, "getting it on" with hank the non-threatening but still attractive farm hand. also, chickens smell fucking horrible and if you were any type of farmer (at least in olden times) you'd have to have a mighty big chicken coop and the best location for a chicken coop is by the farmhouse so you can hear muhfuckin' chicken rustlers of all types (wolves, snakes, cousin Zeke the chicken-fucker, etc.). Not to mention that if you grow lots of crap you gotta go sell it to someone when you could as easily be just sleeping or "making it" with a goat.

I hope everyone had a good president's day!

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02/13/05 11:01 - ID#23265

valentine's day is lame...

Even when I had a girlfriend during this awesome consumer circle jerk, I was always against being forced into a romantic evening along with millions of other easily manipulated schmucks. It's tragic when you think of all the shitty, annoying relationships that get prolonged by an infusion of poor quality chocolates and ill conceived flower bouquets. Ads on TV shouting "Better get her something shiny!" you don't want to be forced to masturbate this valentine's day, you pathetic sap. If you need a card company or a heartshaped gold pendant with a diamond (that some poor bastard had to dig for in south africa) to save your relationship, you are fucked up in the firstplace.

When the assault of the color pink and sappy love songs gives way to the kelly green and the perpetuation of cultural stereotypes that is st. Patrick's day, i shall rejoice.

until then i remain,
Jonathan M. Simon

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01/24/05 01:50 - ID#23264

titty pictures...

not really.

I have placed my image on hotornot.com for the purpose of amusement/infotainment.

Currently I am a 7.1.

I have always considered myself a 7.2, so it goes.

Also, i noticed last sunday at Wegaman's that there was a superbowl display with life size cardboard cutouts of Donovan McNabb and Tom Brady. Now, this is weird because at the time of said display observation there were four teams and therefore four QB's(quarterbacks, for the lay person) in the running. How come the QB's from the other two teams weren't represented? The two QB's that will not be participating in the Super Bowl in a fortnight's time? There is some serious funny business going on. Oh Danny Wegman, what have you gotten yourself into?

here's the link to my hotornot.com thingy:

Go Eagles,

Jonathan M. Simon

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01/19/05 08:38 - ID#23263

mmmmm...

this snow so fluffy

like glitter, so so lovely.

I miss the mountains.

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01/16/05 07:10 - ID#23262

good luck for 1.79 plus applicable taxes

by way of a bonecrushing drug test and a number of fruitless background checks, I am now a muhfuckin' employee of Community Services inc. For all those people who don't believe in religous trinkets...pipe-smoke this ish:

Before the purchase of Holy Spirit catholic-wish-making candle I was a lowly clerk at a cut rate convenience store.

After the purchase of said candle I have a brand spanking new job with health AND dental. Praise His name.

I'm sending my personal saga of a Jew turned Atheist turned religious icon collector in to Pat "the cat" Robertson and his seven hundo club.

Maybe G Dubs could send the nations unemployed some fucking catholic candles to snatch the wankstas up by their muhfuckin' bootstraps.

Holla,

Jonathan M. Simon

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12/29/04 02:33 - ID#23261

welly welly well

Back in buffalo after an extended stay with the rentals in majestic Binghamton NY, the carousel capital of the world. Enjoyed holiday season, celebrated sister's engagement, kicked it oldschool, pop-locked just a little and now I'm back to preare for 2k5 and a new J-O-B.

Anywho.

for all in tents with porpoises,

Jon Simon

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12/02/04 03:31 - ID#23260

Piece of thought.

The roommate search goes onâ€¦seemingly without endâ€¦

I have quit my job at the mindsucking convenience storeâ€¦Microsoft word informs me that mindsucking is not a word (or perhaps it is just not spelled correctly?)â€¦ah conformist MS word! What a little slave to convention you areâ€¦anyways, I just found out my sister is getting married which is completely great and on another positive note I think that the â€œLife Skills Instructorâ€? job is just around the corner just like Hanukkah anâ€™ shitâ€¦

FoRealDo,

Jonathan M Simon

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11/05/04 05:13 - ID#23259

while

yes, it has been a while...

here's a nice quote:

â€œBut for the present age, which prefers the sign to the thing signified, the copy to the original, representation to reality, appearance to essence .Â .Â . truth is considered profane, and only illusion is sacred. Sacredness is in fact held to be enhanced in proportion as truth decreases and illusion increases, so that the highest degree of illusion comes to be the highest degree of sacredness.â€?

â€”Feuerbach

four more years...Dubya of Nazereth!

lates,

Jon

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09/30/04 02:13 - ID#23258

Roommate Ad