12/07/04 12:19 - ID#21501

Stressed out.

My audition is in less than a month.
I still have not memrized one of my monolouges.
I still don't have transportation or a place to stay.
I am still not sure I have the moral support I was promised, either.
My parents spent my money for the trip, so I have to find as many babysitting jobs as possible in the next month. So far, I have one.

Christmas is in less than a month.
I do not have any money whatsoever.
I do not have any idea what to get for my friends and family.
I have been stuck in my house on decoration detail for over a week.
I have to go to 10 parties in 2 weeks.

I have to go get a tree, babysit dolores, go shopping for gifts, finish making molly's gift, go grocery shopping, take bernie to breakfast with santa, have dinner with ka, and go see miss julie at CTC, and magically find 500$.

I think I need a xanax and a cup of tea.

Permalink: Stressed_out_.html
Words: 170
Location: Kenmore, NY

11/29/04 04:49 - ID#21500

Forgivness

My friend, in the past year, has cast out his three best friends from his life.

And it makes me wonder.

What horrible atrocity do I have to commit to make him unable to forgive me, too?

Apparently nothing at all. :(

Permalink: Forgivness.html
Words: 41
Location: Kenmore, NY

11/25/04 04:24 - ID#21499

Thanksgiving

I
hate
holidays.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Permalink: Thanksgiving.html
Words: 5
Location: Kenmore, NY

11/22/04 12:51 - ID#21498

Byebye baby, don't be long...

won another poetry contest.
more publication.

still working on preparing monolouge for audition.
more memorization.

have to go see dolores tomorrow since yesterday was her b-day.
more cake.

also have to talk to rick about NYC.
more yelling.

emailed christina.
more worry.

december is in a week and a half.
more memories.

library picket on tuesday.
more outrage.

...you kno, it's surprising how much you can miss people that you never knew you would...

Permalink: Byebye_baby_don_t_be_long_.html
Words: 78
Location: Kenmore, NY

11/19/04 12:35 - ID#21497

Holiday Headaches

My friend is like the Christmas Nazi.
She absolutely loves the holiday. Me, not so much. Christmas makes me think of things that happened during that time of celebration that don't make me want to celebrate...me getting diabetes, fighting with Nick, katy's dad's heart attack, my nervous breakdown, and michael.
I am also forced to see certain people during the holidays, and this is hard. For instance, christmas in my house means my cousins, namely duffy and katie. duffy, who i am still so upset with after events of this summer, and katie, who used be one of my best friends, but now we just say we'll call each other and never do. it's like that with my friend meg as well, whom i also see at christmas, tho i don't know if i will this year.
Christmas is just a rough time for me...it's hard for a person to understand that. Especially the Christmas nazi.
I love her intentions, and her generosity, and her frindship...but everyone else in my life understand that I'm not going to get all uppity abotu the holiday a month before hand. they know they can get a good two or three days of christmas cheer from me. they know that even tho i pray for christmas miracles every year, i don't really know if i believe in them.
it just got to the point where the whole month of december became this huge nightmare.
and frankly, no mater how much therapy i get or how many plays i write...it's always going to be this dark spot in my year.

unless, of course, christmas miracles are real.

Permalink: Holiday_Headaches.html
Words: 280
Location: Kenmore, NY

11/05/04 12:28 - ID#21495

Revolution

"Now comes the revolution. If you don't implement a conservative agenda now, when do you?" ~Richard Viguerie, New York Times, November 4, 2004.

How about never?

Here comes the revolution, yesâ€¦alas I would assume that revolution would come from those who would buck the system and fight the conservative agenda.
It has been 2 days since the election, and it just keeps getting worse. I am a big believer in hopeâ€¦but truthfully I have very little.
I cannot imagine living in a world where people I love are persecuted and where there is no freedom of speech, press, thought, or choice. I canâ€™t imagine living in some Orwellian existence.
And I think I have a right to say that I donâ€™t accept this. I wonâ€™t accept this.

So what can I do?

I need examples here, people. Because sitting on the sidelines and letting things go to shit has never been something I can do. So what can I do to make a change? How does a person change the world?
I must find an answer to that question. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to pass them on.

Permalink: Revolution.html
Words: 194
Location: Kenmore, NY

11/02/04 06:03 - ID#21494

November 2.

So I just voted in my first presidential election. :)

And my aunt Muriel died. :(

So it's been an interesting day.

Permalink: November_2_.html
Words: 20
Location: Kenmore, NY

10/22/04 11:39 - ID#21493

End of the beginning...

I was awoken today by the phone ringing. I pick up, I say hello, I get this in return: "::insert background noise:: No, I called her, I get to tell her...Brig? It's Rick. I am standing in frotn of a pile of rubble on Elmwood. Coffee& burned down."

As Katy said, this is enough reason to call Aquila.

Now we have to find a new coffee house to go to.

It's a shock, really. Katy called me later and said "How are you, are you ok, are you coping??" and i thoguth she meant cuz of recent situations, but when I said "I'm fine", she replied "HOW CAN YOU BE FINE!!!!!!! We have no where to get a good cheap cup of coffee anymore!"

Really, it was the epicenter of our summer.
Now it's rubble.

It's a shame.
:(

Permalink: End_of_the_beginning_.html
Words: 140
Location: Kenmore, NY

10/20/04 04:26 - ID#21492

MYS has got a serious case of PMS

Doing my part as street team member and PR management:

MAD YELLOW SUN

With
VEIL
(their final show)
DARKLING
and
AS SUMER DIES

Oct. 30th, 2004

The Continental
212 Franklin St.
Buffalo, NY

Doors at 10pm

18+
No cover charge

(Costumes encouraged)

There. I'm done. The band, while good, is such a thorn in my side.
I find it amusing that I started out with this project being the best friend of the drummer, and have concluded it being one of the singers best friends instead. As for the drummer....
well, it's been a few months since we've spoken. I don't know what the deal is...maybe it is PMS, as the title suggests. Maybe we just grew apart...that happens with people...
But I have known him since I was 4 years old. I went to grade school with him. He was in the first play I ever directed, I was at the first gig he ever played. We've gone thru life and death together, we have been thru first loves and first breakups and losing people and gaining people and so much more....I have known him for 17 years.
That's a long time for us NOT to grow apart...
And I almost wish I'd never met him now.

Oh well.

Come see the band.

Plus there's a party after at Doug's house, and as we all know, Doug's party throwing abilities are almost as good as mine.

Permalink: MYS_has_got_a_serious_case_of_PMS.html
Words: 238
Location: Kenmore, NY

10/16/04 02:18 - ID#21491

Oh Happy Day...

AADA called me for an audition.
I am deleriously giddy.
To the point of insanity, really.
Now I have to find a place to stay cuz Viv isn't living in NYC anymore, and I have to talk to Rick about driving me...I hope he still can.

But that's all just details. In the grand scheme, all that matters is the fact that this is the singular best moment of my life...or at least, will be til I hear that im accepted...if I'm accepted, that is.
No time for negative thoguhts, tho... :)

Permalink: Oh_Happy_Day_.html
Words: 96
Location: Kenmore, NY

<-- Earlier Entries