There are things i think we control in life and things we don't. I guess starting the whole Subway thing and many other things are making write about this. I don't want people to think the wrong thing I'm very excited about Subway. Its been fun so far and i think it will be even more fun knowing its my investment. But here's the thing now I'm committed to staying in Buffalo. Don't get me wrong I do love it here but I guess i did see myself leaving here. I had my opportunities to leave and do things and i didn't. I think there are a lot of reasons for that. I know being scared is one of them. I believe it was the fear of starting somewhere new with nothing but myself. Now, I can say I control all these actions but I like to think fate might have played a factor. I also would like to know can you control the way you would feel about a certain person. Its been so long that I've been in a serious relationship I can't remember if I loved the girl or if it was something that happened over time. I guess you have to really get to know the person before you can develop such a feeling.

This is basically stating how try Marmizo's journal "fantasy" is. To sum it up he stated that all chick flicks are fake and stupid. I am one that will agree on this. I'm not going to dis them all cause even I like to watch them here and there. But like i stated in my journal before these fantasy movies can never happen in the real world. In case you didn't read the one before its cause their looking for the bad guy. In these movies you have this guy obsessing over a girl for an hour and a half but in movie land its like months. Then the girl your watching this with says something like "i can't believe she isn't with this guy. Look at everything he does for her." That makes me laugh to myself. Then in my head I'm like "hello!" And of course by the end of the movie the girl goes with this guy. Basically like Marmizo said how come we can't have one of these movies where the guy just gets so fucked over he ends up killing himself. Well, at least this would be a little more real.

I've been investigating a theory I've had about bad guys do better at getting girls than good guys. I've never really understood why this is. I've always considered myself as a good guy but i could be wrong. But if i was i would get more girls attention wouldn't you think. I realized that girls 28 and above are the ones that are looking for some kind of serious relationship. There is one problem with this and that's that these girls are in a relationship or married. So that leaves us with 27 and under and their looking for the so called "Bad Boy." I guess what bothers me most about this scenario is that these girls want a guy to treat them like shit. So since the new year I've turned over my new leave to be a "Bad Guy." It makes me sad and sick to say its been working. I've talked and have gotten the numbers of two girls since. Mind you its been what three weeks if that. Its so fucking retarded if you ask me.

I don't know about you but i hate getting sick. I've been sick for about four days now and it feels like my world is coming to an end. I normally only get sick about twice a year but that could be my problem. Since, i don't get sick a lot i can't handle the situation. I guess it could be worse my friend (Erin) found out today she has no heat or hot water. That sucks a whole of a lot more. I hate feeling like i can't do anything but sleep. The worst part is waking up at four in the morning everyday. I can't help it ill wake up in sweating like I've had a bad dream. I think I'm getting worse by stressing myself out. I go day in and out worrying that I'm going to fail as being a business owner. I want nothing but to succeed but i have my doubts. I guess i can blame a lot of that on the failed relationships I've had. You ask how i can compare the two? Let me tell you. If i can't keep a relationship together how am i going to keep a business going. I see myself better at the boyfriend girlfriend thing than anything. I guess that doesn't say much since another horrible valentine's day is approaching us. OOOOOO YEah another year to celebrate with nobody. O before i forget thats my buddies wedding anniversary CONGRATES on one year well done.

Is it me or is it the more you drink the more memories you seem to lose. Its not like i've lost them its more like its harder to remember them. What is the point to drinking? Sometimes I like to think it brings out the true sides of people. My reasoning for that theory is cause when you drink your more relaxed and don't have any reason to hold back. So next question is that really me what comes out when im drunk or is that who i want to be.
Have you ever gotten to that point where you go out with friends to drink cause you don't have anything else to do. Or even better you go drink with them cause you can't really talk to them so you have to find another way to do it. Its weird cause Its really hard for me to talk to my friends now. I used to never have a problem. I think its just come to the point where most of them are married and don't understand anymore. Times are changing and things are getting weirder when i feel more comfortable talking to a stranger than anyone else.

How was every ones New Year? Mine was fuckin awesome. Went out to kissing bridge and got really retarded with hundreds of people at the bar. It was pretty cool getting really stupid knowing your sleeping at a house across the street. I was hangin with my brother and some friends and we all got pretty sloppy. I ended up getting a nickname (the diceman) don't ask. I can't really remember how that happened but after they were calling me that i was quoting a lot of Andrew Dice Clay. "This girl comes up to me and asks me where i come from and i tells her I came from my dads penis." Lets just say i said that a lot. Fuck that i blame it all on the Yuengling. That stuff can be very dangerous. Just remember you have been warned. I also remember calling my friend Jay a leprechaun cause of his patty's day looking shirt. I recall telling him i stole his lucky charms. The conclusion of my night at KB resulted in a 33 dollar bet which i wish i could take back. My brother bet me to run up the main hill at KB and touch the first chair lift pole. Ok so most of you are like thats not that difficult. You kno what you might be right but now imagine yourself drunk, with sneakers, and the hill is all ice, did i mention im a smoker to. By the way there were some stipulations like i was only allowed to fall three times and i had to do it in a full sprint. Of course i did it i mean come on 33 dollars. What i didn't kno is that there were like a hundred people watching this. After doing all this i was pretty winded and will just say i was the first to throw up in 2005. I almost forgot it was only 1:30. Don't worry i rebounded and got re drunk but that story is another entry.