Ok so now that i have this picture situation figured out i guess i can start putting in some pics. It makes these journal entries so much more interesting if there are pictures and not just random rambling....like my previous entry... haha thanks (e:julie) for making me sound completely crazy. i should learn not to let people write me entries...haha but it was funny...and mostly semi true.

ok now onto some pics... so what better time to post Christmas pictures than July... right? well, i guess it really can be a sort of Christmas in July...

here is my baby crinkles sleeping by the presents and waiting for us to wake up to open them. she absolutely loooves Christmas and gets so excited when she even sees the box of decorations being brought up from downstairs.




and here is a picture of me and my brother Andrew in our house on Christmas...




In other news:
-my birthday was great. thanks to all those who came out to celebrate with me... esp. the people on this website (e:mike) and (e:julie).
(e:julie) thanks for sneeking out and braving the buffalo dangers as well as some angry parents.
(e:mike) thanks for the cake, beer and card. it was really nice of you :-) and im glad as ,least one of us has parts of the night that you can't remember...including how u got into ur pajamas haha oops

-on a sadder note, my manager/ friend at work is leaving. I've been really sad about this for a week now. its hard when you have become pretty close and have worked together for 3 years. he got promoted to be the general manager...but the store is in rochester. hopefully we will still talk but its hard because while we are close at work and basically talk about everything, we are at completely different points in our lives and i worry that this is it.

-oh but i got this awesome smoothie maker from katrina for my b-day. yesterday we went rowing on the man made lake by her house and made some amazing mango rum and strawberry smoothies!

- and i'm going to the taste of buffalo on sunday with (e:julie) and maybe (e:mike) if he is able to digest all the food he ate there from sat. I just wish all those samples weren't so expensive...but i guess there isn't that much out there that i can eat since im a vegetarian but still i always seem to run out of tickets! haha

ok, have a fun day everyone!

Florence is sleeping right now, but i can't wait for her to wake up tomorrow morning because i just got these new plastic underwater plants for her tank. I know she is going to love them!

and crinkles smells so good right now. She had been a bit stinky for a while, but she got a bath this morning and now she is soo fluffy and cute. In fact, i was at a certain store this evening (store to be left unnamed) but there was a pillow there that that felt just like her. there werent any in white, but there was a beige one that looked a little like her. it was so soft. it would have been like i was sleeping, all cuddled up with her. oh, I Loooooove Crinkles!

and tonight i got my pants sized. (e:julie) is sewing me a pair of pajama pants as a graduation present. she's a little late, but better late than never. the pants are going to have all these noses all over them. the best kind of noses, Big Wet Dog Noses! I Looove Noses.

And i had a "first" a few weeks ago. I was at a graduation party out in hamburg when it happened. I was in a DWI accident! it was a hit and run. I was in a car when the drunken driver backed into an innocent parked car. luckily there was no damage to the other car, but there were scratches on the guilty party's car. (no names have been named to protect the guilty)

and there is a new flotation device in my pool, and it's filled with water! how weird is that? so instead of the wings (arm floaties) we can use this. so if anyone is going to come over to go swimming, you better do it within the next two weeks because i'm not going to insert "things" any more just to swim. it's too stressful just for a little pool fun.

and in my search to find a boyfriend, i came to the conclusion that if i got the following pickup line in a grocery store, i would definitely accept and probably even marry the guy who said it.
guy to me: "hey, would you mind helping me find something?"
me to him: "sure, i guess, what do you need help with?"
him to me: "well i'm looking for a girlfriend?"
me to him: <chuckle> "right here, baby!"
<then we run off into the sunset and live happily ever after>

so if you see me in the supermarket, now you know what to do!

ok so i have the hardest time getting pictures in this thing because they always used to come up so small. the only picutres i have been able to post are from my cell phone and those ones are terrible because i don't have a flash and it just never works....but now i tried resizing them in powerpoint, and i think it finally worked... woohoo!


katrina and me at graduation



walaboo (e:mike), katina and me at graduation


me, walaboo and katrina at our honors banquet


my baby crinkles on her b-day

Ok so there are a few things in particular that I have really strong thoughts/beliefs on. I take what I believe and think about stuff really seriously, which includes like reading a ton and not just jumping to conclusions until i've properly researched what it is exactly I believe and feel about different things...as well as alternative forms of thoughts. Specifics here really aren't necessary...but to make a long ramble short, I just sometimes feel like maybe if someone doesn't agree you should just leave it alone and not keep bringing it up. Like you never know what experiences or stuff has happened to a person to make them a certain way, so with that said, if you don't agree, know that there are certain times to discuss and other times to just leave it alone.

These past few months the timing of everything just seems off.
Even when I try to plan something differently, it somehow still backfires.

But is it really bad timing or do some events truly happen for a reason, making it not bad timing but a necessary occurance in order for a future event to take place?

Put simply, things probably happen for a reason...but why does it always seem like my timing is off??

Ok so Monday I officialy finished college. My last exam was handed in (it was a take home databases exam from my independent study). Exams finished up that friday before. I think i was one of the last seniors to finish everything up. But it feels sooooo good to be done. Even though grade wise this wasn't the best semester for me at least i was already accepted to grad school so it wasn't that stressful.

This week is senior week. Its been pretty good so far. Monday was a happy hour at Flappy's. Tuesday was wine tasting but they sold out of tickets by the time I bought them so i didn't get to go. Instead I went to the biology senior lunch at school. I almost didn't go but am so glad i did. The effort that the chair and the department put into it was honesly very touching. The halls in the biology building were all decorated with streamers and balloons. They had tons and tons of food including make your own sandwiches, like 5 different kinda of pasta salads and regular salads and shells and cheese. It was impressive. Then at the end all the teachers like were hiding these party poper things and all shot them off together at the end. The chair of the dept also gave me a big hug and told everyone that even though it didn't always seem like it they really were going to miss us all and to keep in touch. I honestly never loved the bio dept at canisius but this really was a nice ending.

Thurs is the senior ball. I wanted to go before and like I still do. I mean it will be fun to have like a last formal dance ever type thing. I admit I am a little sad I do not have a date and I could of brought someone but I just don't feel like brining someone who isn't my boyfriend. Plus the stress of like working all day and trying to fit in time to buy a dress and shoes and stuff for graduation and the ball is taking its toll. BUT...me, katrina, and walaboo (e:mike) and my other canisius friends will be sure to have a blast :-)

Then Fri is the mass and Sat is graduation. These next few days are sure to fly by...

Ok so as everyone who knows me knows, I've been having a really bad past few weeks. There is one main reason...but so many other things have gone wrong as well. I guess when stuff happens in your life that is bad you sometimes rely on other people. But then when the person leaves, it makes it ten times harder to handle than normally. I guess you learn a lesson from everything, but honestly I don't want this lesson. I don't want to believe that this what happens when you begin to put faith in other people..begin to believe that something finally could be real and good. It ruins things.

I know that probably makes no sense to all of you but to some it will. So i will take probably the best statement I've heard all week from walaboo (e:mike) to heart...it was something like: even if nothing more, im glad we met and for the time spent together. maybe someday i will believe that and think that way...

So, i guess this is what i will remember about the end of my college undergrad. A really crappy ending, but I guess its something. I am looking forward to finishing this semester up...even though its really hard to concentrate on school...and finally graduating and being able to begin to figure the rest of my life out.

Anyways, id like to believe that there are no bad beginnings, so here's to a good beginning of my post undergrad life!

Ok so many of you maybe already know of this website www.thefacebook.com that is taking college campus' by storm...but Canisius has just been allowed to register for it.... and let me tell you it is insane. People are already so obsessed with the site and its not uncommon to hear people asking other people in the halls if they are on the facebook yet. Plus the school library has actually blocked the site.

Now i must admitt i did join the site quite reluctantly at first... but thanks to (e:julie) i was one of the first to become part of this online cult of sorts from Canisius. At first I did not understand why it would be fun to look at other peoples pictures and profiles from canisius and other schools, but it has this feature where you list other people on the facebook that are your friends. So then you can see if you have friends in common with people or you can search for random groups of people. Its all very confusing at first but once you get the hang of it, it actually does become amusing. Now i'm not saying i'm as hooked on it at (e:mike)...buuut, i do enjoy clicking around and adding new friends.

So while im not sure how long my amusement ...or anyone elses for that matter...with the site will last, it does hold my attention now.

So if you go to college or i think even if you are an alumni...as long as you still have a school email address...check out www.thefacebook.com. its worth looking at even if it doesn't take over you life...as i know it already has for most of Canisius.

So they say breaking up with someone is hard, but I never thought it would really be this difficult. It's not like I've never had anyone let me down before, but this time its so different. I know it hasn't even been a week yet and these things take time, but it just seems like I can't stop thinking about this. And i'm sure its terrible... but I can't even concentrate on doing my school work without drinking first (not getting wasted, just a few shots ha ha) to try and take my mind off it for a little bit. The only times I've even been happy this week is when i was drunk...thanks to my great friends!

Anyways, I almost wish I was angry at him. I know I should be, but I'm not. I usually don't get angry. And, I know I really didn't deserve it this way and this was not my fault. But the truth is, I just miss him....

Oh well. Have a great weekend everyone!

So after months of procrastination of taking the GRE's and applying to grad school, I finally got accepted today. I guess the applications and stuff wasn't that bad - I think it was just the hassle of getting all the recommendations and everything sent together. Anyways, I only applied to one grad program- the masters in natural science at Roswell/UB. It allows you to rotate between different labs and the different specific types of specializations in order to determine if you want to concentrate in a specific field and what lab you want to do your research in. I think ever since I was in middle school I always wanted to do research and help people at Roswell, so it does feel good knowing that I will get the opportunity...even if it is a little scary to think about.

However, motivating myself has been really hard this semester and I'm worried that I'm not completely ready to jump into a grad school program. But I guess it could just be because I don't like any of the classes I am in- they are all for my other major in Bioinformatics and are all programming and database classes, and I'm much more interested in biology stuff. Oh well, I'm sure the new surrounding and stuff will be enough to keep me on my toes. It's just going to be strange though because most of my friends are going to be done with school. I know this will be a good opportunity for me, and besides, what else was I going to do with myself after graduation? haha. i guess working at Old Navy still would look kind of silly with a biology and bioinformatics degree.

So I guess this news did help my terrible terrible week go a little better. I am feeling better about things today....not all better but a little. Plus, I got accepted into the biology honor society at canisius (Tri-beta)! So, maybe this week still is salvageable....but I still miss him :-

Oh yeah, and (e:paul) i know already told (e:mike) this but in case he forgets to tell you... I just wanted to let you know that you must be doing an amazing job teaching because I'm in the computer science lab all the time working on my programs and today I overheard a former student of yours that is in my class telling other people to "take anything taught by paul visco. all his classes are amazing and he is a genius" and the kid was talking about this website and how it was really cool how you did all this stuff. so good job paul, i heard it firsthand and.... they love ya!