Ok so Monday I officialy finished college. My last exam was handed in (it was a take home databases exam from my independent study). Exams finished up that friday before. I think i was one of the last seniors to finish everything up. But it feels sooooo good to be done. Even though grade wise this wasn't the best semester for me at least i was already accepted to grad school so it wasn't that stressful.

This week is senior week. Its been pretty good so far. Monday was a happy hour at Flappy's. Tuesday was wine tasting but they sold out of tickets by the time I bought them so i didn't get to go. Instead I went to the biology senior lunch at school. I almost didn't go but am so glad i did. The effort that the chair and the department put into it was honesly very touching. The halls in the biology building were all decorated with streamers and balloons. They had tons and tons of food including make your own sandwiches, like 5 different kinda of pasta salads and regular salads and shells and cheese. It was impressive. Then at the end all the teachers like were hiding these party poper things and all shot them off together at the end. The chair of the dept also gave me a big hug and told everyone that even though it didn't always seem like it they really were going to miss us all and to keep in touch. I honestly never loved the bio dept at canisius but this really was a nice ending.

Thurs is the senior ball. I wanted to go before and like I still do. I mean it will be fun to have like a last formal dance ever type thing. I admit I am a little sad I do not have a date and I could of brought someone but I just don't feel like brining someone who isn't my boyfriend. Plus the stress of like working all day and trying to fit in time to buy a dress and shoes and stuff for graduation and the ball is taking its toll. BUT...me, katrina, and walaboo (e:mike) and my other canisius friends will be sure to have a blast :-)

Then Fri is the mass and Sat is graduation. These next few days are sure to fly by...

Ok so as everyone who knows me knows, I've been having a really bad past few weeks. There is one main reason...but so many other things have gone wrong as well. I guess when stuff happens in your life that is bad you sometimes rely on other people. But then when the person leaves, it makes it ten times harder to handle than normally. I guess you learn a lesson from everything, but honestly I don't want this lesson. I don't want to believe that this what happens when you begin to put faith in other people..begin to believe that something finally could be real and good. It ruins things.

I know that probably makes no sense to all of you but to some it will. So i will take probably the best statement I've heard all week from walaboo (e:mike) to heart...it was something like: even if nothing more, im glad we met and for the time spent together. maybe someday i will believe that and think that way...

So, i guess this is what i will remember about the end of my college undergrad. A really crappy ending, but I guess its something. I am looking forward to finishing this semester up...even though its really hard to concentrate on school...and finally graduating and being able to begin to figure the rest of my life out.

Anyways, id like to believe that there are no bad beginnings, so here's to a good beginning of my post undergrad life!