some people completely hate theirs, others are indifferent or just become strangers. my family has never been that way.

you think, when you have your own family it will all be different and things will be nice and cozy.

the truth is, no matter how perfect and amazing someone else's family seems, no family is perfect.

my little cousin is going through a rough time right now. she's never had a solid parental influence. she does however have wealthy grandparents who have half raised her which definitely eased some things a bit. at the same time, not having a parent who is a role-model must be so difficult. i can't imagine not having my mother, because i know no matter what she is there to help and i trust her because she's a stable strong level-headed woman.

my cousin decided to leave az and go back to ny because it's stressful here. her grandpa has cancer again and her grandmother was recently diagnosed with lupus, plus her father isn't doing much with himself and she is growing to resent him as well as her mother whom she hardly ever sees and lives in oregon now.

i kinda want to hug her and beg her not to go because we are so close and she's like my little sister and i will really miss her especially since my brother and sister are so far away and it's really lonely sometimes.

why is it that i really never want to move back to ny but most of the people i love are there? i hate you nys, stop snatching my peoples up.

i not so secretly hope my cousin hates brockport and she comes running for the hills. fountain hills.

dear blog,

i have one wish. please make the birds stop flying against the back windows of my house. after they hit the glass they seize for a few minutes and die, and if i have to deal with anymore birds guts i may vomit, pass out and or cry for a long time.

on a better note, i absolutely love my teaching internship and i seriously wish i could go everyday. those kids are so cute and such hard workers, not to mention hilarious and charming.

I miss little Zooey so much! What I would give to have a cuddle with that precious cutie right now. She is 2 yrs old today, and its crazy to think she wasn't around 2 yrs ago. Can't imagine my life without her.

I wish my brother and sister in law would call and skype more and be more proactive about visits and holidays... Its much more fun with Zooey around!

Don't worry little Zooey I will be there soon to shower you with gifts and love, Aunt Sarah loves you very much!

my little cousin is leaving me to move back to rochester... you couldn't pay me to move back east. i really miss my friends and brother and sister and adorable niece but that cold weather keeps me in the warm sunshineyness...

i remember wanting a little sister so bad when i was a child but i have a mean mother and she refused to give me one. my cousin is like the best little sister you could ask for. she's completely adorable, funny, gorgeous, kind, generous and caring. i just want to squish her to pieces so then she can't leave. :o(

i confess, i absolutely could not stand Aubrey when she was just a lil chitlin and her divalike ways just infuriated me. she would never eat her food, always had to sit in the front seat and had to have things her way. wow, she sounds just like me, except i always ate my food and then other people's food as well. i never realized that she idolized me, which is so cute. i remember thinking my older sister was the coolest ever and it's a pretty awesome feeling knowing someone thinks you're the best.

she has grown into quite the young lady and i'll miss having someone to be crazy around. we probably spend about 90% of our time together being complete idiots and laughing nonstop.

i guess nys will be seeing even more of me in the future.

here she is wearing my glasses.

I'm seriously hoping next week is better than this week has been.

My loans have still not gone through and I'm literally down to my last dime. I would have never gotten this stupid diamond in my nose if I realized that my loans wouldn't go through until I'd been in school nearly a month.

To top things off my hearing aids are on back order and I can't hear a damn thing in class. People whisper shit to me all the time. I can't hear whispers. It all makes me want to just talk to no one.


Its tiring and frustrating having to constantly tell people to speak up and then to have them laugh because they think it is funny that I miss out on nearly half of all of conversations. It makes me want to crawl under a rock and not come out until I get the damn things and my money comes through.


I still have more books to buy... I'm not big on crying anymore but I'm just having such a bad week that I'm holding them back.

:o( next week will be better.

The elder members appear to have some issues. I feel they are racist and I hate it. Its embarrassing to me... Especially considering the fact that I am of mixed race.