So I went to the gym this evening to work out and post-workout visited the sauna where there were a bunch of super hot guys, a couple of which had similar body types but were totally ripped. I don't mean like sort of hot, they were so freakin' super hot - like the gardener guys from Desperate Housewives. Instead of feeling better after working out, I just felt crappy. Normally I would be turned on by such a beautiful view but instead I was nauseous with jealousy.
I kept telling myself maybe they were all shorter in stature as short people tend to look way more muscular. Its hard to tell when everyone is sitting down.
I am so not jealous of the dudes with 10 inch penises, or the super buff body builder types, both things I know I cannot be - but when it is someone of a similar body type but the target weight / muscle bulk I want to be, I just feel defeated - like that could be me.
It seems the crux for me is that I cannot seem to eat enough - that and the whole crohn's battle. Also from the sounds of what they were talking about they had jobs that involved physical labor. If only mental exercise could produce physical beauty the same way that physical exercise does - I would be so freakin "ripped" lol.
Its crazy. I remember thinking I would die to be 150, now I am 150 and I feel like I am even more unhappy than when I was 130. I feel like 175 would be better but then will 175 feel like 150. Is there no end to the cycle.
(e:Terry) says I just need to give it up.
Paul's Journal
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11/21/2008 21:14 #46791
I will never be satisfiedCategory: body
11/21/2008 17:45 #46788
Italians are not white?Category: web
I know italians were not always white but i thought generally now they are, then I saw this:
Younger Guy for My Wife - mw4m - 38 (buffalo
Looking for yonger man for our first threesome. You need to be clean, d/d free, discreet, respectful (especially to my wife), under the age of 25, white or italian, neatly trimmed (not shaven), 7" or less, and in decent shape (HWP).
pmrk - 11/21/08 23:16
oh oh I'm 100% Sicilian, I think I have been checking the wrong race box all my life.
I think I'm the whitest Sicilian around. LOL
oh oh I'm 100% Sicilian, I think I have been checking the wrong race box all my life.
I think I'm the whitest Sicilian around. LOL
paul - 11/21/08 21:15
I am 1/4 sicilian, should I check the african american box on surveys, lol?
I am 1/4 sicilian, should I check the african american box on surveys, lol?
metalpeter - 11/21/08 19:38
Well a couple things is the '' the sign for feet or inches? When they aren't written together I forget. Someone might say what are you talking about. Well one means that if you are taller then seven feet don't bother and the other one means if you are longer the 7 inches don't bother. If she was hot and I was under 25 I might think about it.
In terms of being white often Italians are not thought of as being white. I think it is because some of them have olive skin and some times Itailians and Sciclians are called the same name, and that can cause problems. Maybe it has something to do with that people don't think of Italy as part of Europe. Or maybe it has to do with all the mob movies who knows.
Well a couple things is the '' the sign for feet or inches? When they aren't written together I forget. Someone might say what are you talking about. Well one means that if you are taller then seven feet don't bother and the other one means if you are longer the 7 inches don't bother. If she was hot and I was under 25 I might think about it.
In terms of being white often Italians are not thought of as being white. I think it is because some of them have olive skin and some times Itailians and Sciclians are called the same name, and that can cause problems. Maybe it has something to do with that people don't think of Italy as part of Europe. Or maybe it has to do with all the mob movies who knows.
paul - 11/21/08 18:08
No not at all, I just love reading them all.
No not at all, I just love reading them all.
hodown - 11/21/08 17:47
Are you interested?
Are you interested?
11/21/2008 14:34 #46785
Squid == cholestrolCategory: food
Who knew that squid had so much cholestrol. The other day (e:enknot) and I ate the squid I bought at the local asian grocer (e:paul,46615) It was so freakin tasty. I used my time tested cinamon, clove, carrot, tomato paste, olive oil recipe (e:paul,40613)
Then I looked at the package and saw just how much cholestrol is in squid. 263mg per serving with 6 serving in the bag. I had 5 servings about. That means I got 1315mg of cholestrol. That cannot be good, does anyone know if this is the good or bad kind?
Then I looked at the package and saw just how much cholestrol is in squid. 263mg per serving with 6 serving in the bag. I had 5 servings about. That means I got 1315mg of cholestrol. That cannot be good, does anyone know if this is the good or bad kind?
tinypliny - 11/22/08 18:53
The term "good" cholesterol is assigned to High-density-lipoprotein-bound (HDL) Cholesterol and "bad" cholesterol to Low-density-lipoprotein-bound (LDL) Cholesterol. These fractions are exclusively manufactured in the liver. Your liver manufactures most of the cholesterol in your body
You shouldn't worry too much about cholesterol from food. It is true that animal derived cholesterol will be one of these fractions, but its of no relevance once it reaches your stomach - because it will be broken down and reassembled in the liver. The final ratio of HDL and LDL in your bloodstream is dependent on the metabolic function of your liver, the amount of saturated fats and simple carbohydrates you consume and very remotely linked to the amount of cholesterol you consume.
So if you are healthy person with a balanced diet, good exercise patterns and no genetic/hereditary/pre-existing coronary events in your medical history, you are fine eating relatively high cholesterol foods.
It's the fats and carbohydrates that are the major culprits. It you factor in all this over-awareness about saturated fat levels in the population, in the end the blame squarely rests on simple refined carbohydrates (including sugar).
The term "good" cholesterol is assigned to High-density-lipoprotein-bound (HDL) Cholesterol and "bad" cholesterol to Low-density-lipoprotein-bound (LDL) Cholesterol. These fractions are exclusively manufactured in the liver. Your liver manufactures most of the cholesterol in your body
You shouldn't worry too much about cholesterol from food. It is true that animal derived cholesterol will be one of these fractions, but its of no relevance once it reaches your stomach - because it will be broken down and reassembled in the liver. The final ratio of HDL and LDL in your bloodstream is dependent on the metabolic function of your liver, the amount of saturated fats and simple carbohydrates you consume and very remotely linked to the amount of cholesterol you consume.
So if you are healthy person with a balanced diet, good exercise patterns and no genetic/hereditary/pre-existing coronary events in your medical history, you are fine eating relatively high cholesterol foods.
It's the fats and carbohydrates that are the major culprits. It you factor in all this over-awareness about saturated fat levels in the population, in the end the blame squarely rests on simple refined carbohydrates (including sugar).
james - 11/21/08 16:20
It is also low in fat and that fat is Omega-3. So in the end it isn't that bad unless you have a cholesterol problem to begin with.
It is also low in fat and that fat is Omega-3. So in the end it isn't that bad unless you have a cholesterol problem to begin with.
anne - 11/21/08 16:09
"Ingredients: Squid Tubes"
Hahahahahahaha. when worded that way it sounds ridiculous
"Ingredients: Squid Tubes"
Hahahahahahaha. when worded that way it sounds ridiculous
mike - 11/21/08 15:32
if it tastes so good , it must be the good kind right?
if it tastes so good , it must be the good kind right?
11/21/2008 14:31 #46783
Giving Basra a BathCategory: pets
Basra got his winter bath today. He was relatively clean to begin with. Its amazing how little a tortoise smells. Our previous home zoo always smelled so bad because of the freakin sugar gliders. I feel bad for basra that he had to live with them.
paul - 11/21/08 23:12
We sold them in order to buy the Hall Tree (e:matthew,45127) They smelled so bad.
We sold them in order to buy the Hall Tree (e:matthew,45127) They smelled so bad.
metalpeter - 11/21/08 19:29
You refer to the sugar gliders as freakin and in the past tense, do you still have them? I admit they are kinda freaky and kinda cool all at the same time
You refer to the sugar gliders as freakin and in the past tense, do you still have them? I admit they are kinda freaky and kinda cool all at the same time
paul - 11/21/08 17:19
He is huge and will get much bigger. We had him for about 7 years now. He lives in the backyard may->end of sept and then has a bedroom during the winter. He hates being inside. He has a rock and a heat lamp on the floor, the room has outdoor carpeting and he just goes where he wants.
He doesn't ever go in water normally, only like once or twice a year. He is from the desert.
He is huge and will get much bigger. We had him for about 7 years now. He lives in the backyard may->end of sept and then has a bedroom during the winter. He hates being inside. He has a rock and a heat lamp on the floor, the room has outdoor carpeting and he just goes where he wants.
He doesn't ever go in water normally, only like once or twice a year. He is from the desert.
gardenmama - 11/21/08 14:52
He's pretty cool! I'm assuming you bathe him with just plain water but do you use a toothbrush on his shell, or just wipe him down? What type of habitat do you normally keep him in?
I used to have a painted turtle that would hiss sometimes. It was funny as hell. I don't know if that's normal or if he picked it up from the cats I had. But then, I also had a cat that growled like a dog when people got near the door. Maybe my pets were just identity confused.
He's pretty cool! I'm assuming you bathe him with just plain water but do you use a toothbrush on his shell, or just wipe him down? What type of habitat do you normally keep him in?
I used to have a painted turtle that would hiss sometimes. It was funny as hell. I don't know if that's normal or if he picked it up from the cats I had. But then, I also had a cat that growled like a dog when people got near the door. Maybe my pets were just identity confused.
11/19/2008 10:42 #46752
Too early for ChristmasWhen I took this picture last week, it as entirely too early for
Christmas. It still is. When will they start in the summer.
flacidness - 11/19/08 16:07
walmarts have been playing christmas music as of two weeks ago. way too early. ick
walmarts have been playing christmas music as of two weeks ago. way too early. ick
libertad - 11/19/08 14:01
Those have been up for almost a month now
Those have been up for almost a month now
lauren - 11/19/08 12:26
ug, i know! AND they have planted Christmas chocolate and candy canes ALL over that damn store. Bastards.
ug, i know! AND they have planted Christmas chocolate and candy canes ALL over that damn store. Bastards.
james - 11/19/08 12:11
All things Christmas should be sealed in a subterranean temple which is guarded by radioactive vampire dogs who sleep between December 10th and January 10th. If you want your stuff early or you put it back late you have to brave the horrors below.
All things Christmas should be sealed in a subterranean temple which is guarded by radioactive vampire dogs who sleep between December 10th and January 10th. If you want your stuff early or you put it back late you have to brave the horrors below.
janelle - 11/19/08 11:03
Ugh. Yuck.
Ugh. Yuck.
^^^^^ jealous of being 6'0. Heh. 20 pounds is no small feat if your meta is really that high... Grats.
welcome to my world (or former world, and that of most girls). I've felt like that from the time I was 12 til I realized it didn't fucking matter. let that shit go. you can only be the best you that you can be, and that's more than good enough. that's the lesson I learned, anyway. I'm proud of you. can't wait to see you.
I knew a beautiful young man once who developed an addiction to working out. His distorted view of his own physique(which was pretty steamy) as he compared himself to others, sadly led him into developing a serious addiction to physical training. He ended up doing his body, and his life, way more harm than good. As a side note, it is my understanding that he had also developed difficulty with getting and/or maintaining an erection, which, I have heard is the casse with many extreme body builders. Better to not be quite so ripped, I'd guess. By the way, there are probably guys looking at you the same way thinking, "man, I wish I looked that fit."
You rock, Paul - ripped or not. :)
(Pssst: You don't need those crazy muscles. You need a moustache. ;-))
First of all I will admit I'm a little jealous of the 10 inch guys out there, or maybe it is just that if that was me there would be a sex act that I could then perform well ok more then just one if that was me, I'm not saying what. But I think that is a natural thing for some people other then (e:Paul). That is to wish we where one way when we can't be (I don't think any of those pills really work anyways). Short people want to be tall and play basketball, and be able to reach things on shelves and tall people wish they didn't have to bend down to walk through doorways and could drive that nice small sports car, but there legs are to long.
I think that our society (or at least the famous people) put a lot of weight on how people look, and not only being pretty. It used to be that being what we would call fat now a days was thought as beauty. It meant that you where able to eat food and had money and that you weren't the poor and sickly it was a sign of good health.
(e:Paul) the thing is I think a lot of what (e:dragonlady7) says is true. Yes if you work out and run and exercise you can get stronger or bigger or both or more toned. You can make your workouts to develop what ever you want to. That being said you are a certain size naturaly and have limits (DNA) of how big you can get. I think the way those weight gaining powders work is that they give you a lot of fat and or calories that your body will turn into fat then with lifting lots of heavy weight it turns the fat into muscle or maybe fat builds up under the muscle and that makes you look bigger, not sure really. The thing to remember is are you going to the gym to Look like a body builder, Triple H (prowrestler) or are you going to get into better shape. If the answer is to be buff go get some steriods and go hit the heavy weight, as much as you can lift a few times and get big or at least try to. I think you want to get in shape. It is nice to look strong but I think cardo is just as important. For example I might be as Big and strong as Chuck Ledell or Brock Lesner but when two guys have pipes I'm screwed and it is time to run, and I can't I'm done.
I'm thin but not as much as I used to be so I get that part. I think I used to be like a 30 waist and now I'm kinda a 34. I think I'm more like 33 but often pants go in 2's so maybe back then I was really a 29. So even though I'm slim not as slim as I used to be.
There's some pretty strong evidence out there that everyone has a natural set point that their metabolism revolves around. It's possible, with some work, for a person to move from one end of their set point to another-- usually a range of 20-50 pounds-- but beyond that, it's so difficult as to be nearly impossible for a person to change their body size/type. There are case studies on record of people eating in excess of 13,000 calories a day in order to move above their set point weight-- any fewer, and their metabolism revved into overdrive to maintain their weight within their set range. Plenty of studies exist in the opposite direction, as well, of people subsisting on 800 calories a day for years at a time with little change in their weight. (These case studies are called "Weight Watchers", incidentally. For reference, the U.N. refers to anything under 1500 calories a day as "starvation".)
So the fact that you've made the changes you have speaks volumes about your determination-- but the limit you've hit, particularly given that you have a digestive illness, suggests that you've hit the edge of your set point. You were designed to be a slender person. You are certainly to be commended for the amount you've taken charge of your own health, but to keep striving for yet more change is unlikely to pay off. It's best to be happy with the work you've done.
But I hear you on the physical labor thing. I have moved from the lower end of my set point (175) to the upper end (205) since I stopped waitressing, and while my knees are overjoyed, I'm really not having an easy time loving this new extra-flabby belly I've got. I've got way more muscle development than I did, but it's all hidden under these heaving mounds of fat.
Well, the only person I know who isn't at all self-conscious about his body is (e:zobar), who's 6'3", 135, and I can count his vertebrae. He knows it's futile for him to try to look like anything else. All he can do is make a reasonable effort to eat a varied diet and move his ass off the couch once in a while. We'll see which of us lives longer. ;)
Paul, just like with the 10 inch dicks and the body builders, everyone has different circumstances. Wanting more is natural, I think we all do, James and Libertad are so right.
For what it's worth, you deserve a lot of credit for putting in the work and gaining that 20 pounds. You look strong and healthy. If not for genetics (presumably) the way I take care of myself I should be 400 pounds.
Give yourself some credit, be happy with what you've done so far and the nature of the cycle has to change. I've been terrified to death of going to the gym and being judged, you've done something most people don't do.
The saddest part of the story for me is that it ruined your enjoyment of the view. In my pre-Elmwood days I would go to BAC Amherst now and again during lunches and seeing hot people is one of THE reasons to go!!
That's funny james. So it is my theory that the more you work out and take care of your body the more self conscious about it you become. I have been working out 3-4 times a week lately and a lot of times will look in the mirror and be disgusted. I see a lot of results and everything but I get unhappy at the fat accumulation around my mid section. No, I don't think I am fat, but still I think that for my frame the fat I have accumulated there is unhealthy and unflattering. So now I am trying to work on it but it is definitely harder to lose fat than it is to gain muscle.
I cut out cream and sugar from my coffee and recently stopped drinking soda. I wish I didn't have to eat dinner so late sometimes but that is what I end up doing since sometimes I am gone from 8:00am to 9:00pm. I'm stepping up on my cardio too so I'm hopeful that it will help in getting the fat off of my stomach and sides. I'm not trying to lose weight just fat.
Really, I think I will just become more and more obsessed the more I am working out. It is a vicious cycle. I gotta be careful not to get too much muscle because then what would happen if I stopped working out?
BTW, maybe you should go at different times because usually I don't see these desperate housewife boy toys that you seem to work out with. Not that there aren't any hot people just not an abundance.
(e:terry) is a mean terry. i think you always look hot. how about people like me who envy the "waif" look, and you have it, and i have all this curviness and whatnot... just own what you have!
I have been at this pretty hardcore for two yeas now and I see people at that gym with perfect bodies all the time. It is a little discouraging, but then I see with gross letch in the sauna with a pot belly and a comb over and I think to myself "I may be a filthy human being, but I will never get that disgusting."