Ya damn kids.

When I was a boy we had comics that were actually funny. The Far Side, Calvin and Hobbs, Opus. Those were actually the only three. Peanuts was a little too Christian for my tastes, but occasionally would capture the strange, befuddling awe of a simple man trying to understand an infinitely complex world. But really, more often than not comics just disappointed.

Case and point. Family Circus. The grandfather had a bit part until he died. Now he is in every fucking strip. Disappointment.

But really, I want to talk to you about the brilliance that is Garfield. Jim Davis is a sort of idiot savant. He comics are terrible. They have no crushing moral like Family Circus nor do they ironically poke fun at the genera like Boondocks. No. Garfield sucks. It is the purest insipid garbage.

But imagine Garfield in the hands of William Burroughs. Bill would take scissors to it, rearrange it, and turn crap into alchemic gold! Since he is gone, we now have to rely on machines to do that work for us, and to great effect.




Behold! The Garfield Comic Randomizer!

Now if only it could make Hagar entertaining.

I have been avoiding the b-word for a while now. But now that the Clinton campaign is swirling in the bottom of the bowl and her claws are out, it seems like the only word.

Listen to this bit from the weekend.


Nice, she complains about him not paying attention to specifics (he does) and then fails to attack him on specifics but rather go into a tantrum and just call him names.

Now today we have this



Mike Drudge reports that the Clinton campaign has been circulating this photo of Obama on a diplomatic trip to Somalia in 2006. He is trying on the traditional Somali garb, something senators do on diplomatic trips.

Come on.

Guess who is running for president!

That is right! George Bush's chief enabler Ralph fucking Nader! Ralph will be irrelevant this election as an Independent. Oh the hubris! The arrogance! God damn it man, just lay off.

Talk to Rush Limbaugh and he will tell you that the Clintons and Fidel Castro have been in an unholy cabal of Marxist-Leninist ideology. That was made all too apparent today when the Clinton's phoned their close friend Fidel and asked him to "drop the bomb". And drop the bomb he did.

Fidel has been waiting for the word for years. When Hillary was the inevitable candidate she had planned on visiting Cuba in her first year of the presidency and repair relations. But now that her campaign is on life support she needed to have Fidel create as big a news storm as possible. So he resigned.

But why now? Why did Hillary need Fidel to resign?

Quite simply, to obscure the most important and coveted endorsement for president of any party. The endorsement that Barack Obama got today.

• note. This post is true from here on in*

I am speaking of course of the Ben and Jerry endorsement.

Yes, the ice cream purveyors have announced they will not just endorse Obama but campaign for him in their home state of Vermont. The Vermont primary is on March 4th. Ben and Jerry unleashed a fleet of "ObamaModibles" where they will spread the word to voters and give out scoops of "Cherries for Change" flavored ice cream.

Is there any question who the inevitable candidate is now?

Well crap,

I suppose if anyone could take mugging and turn it into a workout the Japanese could.



If they offer classes like this at Allentown Athletix I am so switching!