xmas tree(cactus), is my dear dear little old granny.

she is really really sick. she can't come home from hospice. she hasn't been doing so well.

i am not ready to say goodbye. i love her so much, and she is so important to me, and there isn't enough time, well for everything.

just seeing her laugh or smile, makes my day. and i feel so awful for not seeing her as much as i should have.

so, i don't want any presents, i just want my grandma for xmas. that cute little granny, under the tree.

i have always been so close with her, its like we are soulmates. we connect, and we had the same bedroom growing up. when my grandma was a little girl, she had the same bedroom as me! and her little best friend grew up in the same house as mine!

what will i do without her? what other cute little old lady will i have to joke with? who will teach me more about the art of apple pie baking?

this makes me so lost.

i sent my sister my nano today, she is without ipod, which in nyc is a sad sad state of affairs. i can't imagine the hours of train and travel with no soundtrack for your day. i finally have a decent car and sound system, and i cannot tell you how much happier it makes me throughout the day. i can't wait to get into that lil cutey "tercel 2.0", which is what i have named it. its actually a 02 protege, ill post a pic soon. anyway, i expressed it off the to nyc, and (e:hodown) will have the pre-xmas gift of music very soon!

how could i not, when i had two and she had none? plus, this gets me on her good side, which is never a bad thing. two hos are way stronger than one.

this guy keeps wanting to hang out, and the thought of it makes my headache worse. when will i meet someone, romantic or not that does not make me want to run in the other direction. honestly, its not even about dating anymore, its about finding human connection.

i admire people with passion and talent, and a bit of selflessness. if you are selfish, i really don't think we will get along. so, i am thinking of finding some volunteer work, to maybe meet people. i just can't take anymore of these surface, money obsessed trashbags.

p.s. i bought a multitude of art supplies today, so the need for human connection has been decreased by 50%!


a toy for a tot, named jho...

Missing Image ;(

web design confuses me, and therefore makes me angry.

in my life, will i try every possible thing and hate it?


really, i don't think the whole web design thing is for me. another career plan foiled.


we are headed into major recession says (e:hodown). i need to stop taking forever, and just grow up damnit.

right now, the stars are pointing me towards special education...


i think i could get a bachelors in a few years, but the whole europe plan will be foiled. i may have to settle for just a month or two of backpacking, and then come back and buckle down. it seems like such a cake career, and one i think i will really love... i really think i just hate hate hate school, unless it is art, and at is pointless for school because i don't need 4 yrs and 80,000 worth of debt to be poor and talented, i have that now.

here is a list of people i wish to visit me in the next 5 months:

(e:hodown), and she is coming in less than two weeks!

a divine intervention

(e:mike)

(e:pmt), no animals! and i will cook for you!

(e:brit), but no british national anthem

(e:tina), yea right

i keep wondering, will i be one of those people who wanders back to blo after a short stint elsewhere? its so expensive here for everything, and so much driving, and aside from my family, and the weather, i don't like it so much.

i mean, the weather part makes a huge huge difference, but it really is so expensive, and i am sick of seeing all of the stupid rich people. with money thats seems to just fall from the sky and their rediculously extravagant lifestyles. how are all these people so rich? all they talk about i money, and that seems to be all that anyone cares about here.

so, in short, i really miss blo, but we are having a bad weather spell here, and its not even that bad and its majorly depressing, so i don't think i can come back, because i hate being cold more than anything else, and i am cold right now. so, ill stay here for a bit. or at least until we run out of water, which could be soon.

im going to go see granny now, she always makes me feel better!

what should i name my website??????




sarahannho.com? i wanted shusho. com but its taken. fuckers.



what do you all think???? lilho.com is taken too. ugh.



i want it to be cute and catchy, kinda like me!

i need a new car.


not as in, i want one, or im thinking my car sucks.


i need a new one. one that doesn't break down everyday. one that doesn't leave me stranded in random places in this sprawled out city.


this sucks so much, i feel the tears coming on. it almost makes me want to come back to blo for school and work, and live cheaper, and fuck the car thing all together.

i came here so i could save, and i feel like all i do is spend money, with nothing to show for. i mean, come on, i even cut off my clothes shopping and everything.

i think wine and dinner, and then a movie are in order.


also, i have so much school stuff to do, im pretty sure tonight i my last night of sleep for over a week.

so, im waiting for the good thing that is always supposed to make up for all of the really shitty stuff.

p.s. the cheapo actually seems pretty nice, and did offer to buy me dinner last night.... but, alas, i am in interested in the unattainable man(not the cheapo, just my dream-man), so i will just chill. but why are there so many men all over all the time now? its strange.

pps. still not going to let this all get me down, by the end of jan, i will be decided on when and where i will be spending my 6-8 months in europe. hooray!

and, lastly, i made this for the little lovey i work with, do you think people would buy these thing for like $35-50. i could find some childrens store or something to pitch it...