Here is a picture of me - complete with as close to aviators as the Simpson character generator gets.



Pale emo guy -



A couple goofy looking guys -





And my interpretation of Hillary Clinton!

Seriously - it can't get any better than this.





A puppy born with a patch of fur in the shape of a heart! This little fella is a baby chihuahua from northern Japan.

(e:imk2) loves hotel rooms so I wanted to post this for her, but I think this should get some general interest.

Do you ever feel the need to relive the heady, halcyon days of the German Democratic Republic and the Stasi? Have you ever wanted to sleep in a drab, suffocating, depressing and somewhat prisonlike room representative of typical late 80's East German apartments with portraits of guys such as this over your bed?



Erich Honecker, Grand Poobah of German Communists

Well, my friends, your dream can be a reality. The next time you stop in Berlin, stay at the Ostel hotel - - and you and your comrades will not be disappointed. East Germany had the biggest economy of the Warsaw Pact nations, which is sort of like saying that they were the biggest turd in a toilet full of shit. The typical accomodations were spartan (very polite way of putting it but accurate) at the time and have been lovingly recreated for your enjoyment. Check this out - there is something disturbing yet inherently awesome with this concept. There are more pictures at the Ostel website as well, if you're curiosity simply can't be contained.



For about $80 you can stay in the Stasi suite, which is complete with period bugging devices. I wonder if they artificially filter television broadcasts to eliminate "immoral and subversive" content to heighten the realism.



The outside of the hotel. You won't see Soviet-era block housing architecture this legit anywhere east of the Balkans - except for Berlin! My lord this picture is depressing.



For a little more than $50 a night you get something more like this.



Here is an example of a double bed (sort of, two small beds combined) in a brightly patterned room with a portrait of a former East German Prime Minister.



Examples of authentic commie goodies that the hotel supplies, just in case you miss that Soviet-imported fun when you were a kid.

Another room that the hotel supplies is known as the "Pioneer Camp" - it simply has to be seen to be believed and I'd recommend going to the website to see it, and more pictures of all of the rooms for that matter. Bunk beds, baby, in a communal style setting with bananas in the ashtray, similarly drab appointments and an artificial feeling that life will never get better. Only 9 euros per person - of course, this isn't really East Germany anymore so fully expect your typical European nickeling and diming with respect to linens, room cleaning and food charges. They love "the struggle" but not that much - no discounts or mercy for the proletariat.

I just found out that two friends of mine, formerly of L.A. but now of San Fransisco, will be in town this week! I'm really jazzed up and thrilled about this. They are both good souls, are really mellow and are very gracious and welcoming people. Jack Kerouac would have referred to them as "bhikkus." I spent the weekend with them at their apartment in L.A. last year and had a fabulous time smoking dope, checking out Malibu and Venice, visiting Amoeba Music and just generally catching up with an old friend and his other half. Now is my time to repay their kindness and I can't wait.

I know that this seems weird but I'm happy!

EDIT: I couldn't leave this one out. Have you ever wanted to disappear for a while? Why not participate in a simulated trip to Mars! Check out this article - its worth it.

I present to you the next big thing in the GOP, another member of the largest familial political dynasty since the Kennedys - George P. Bush.



No joking. He's half-Mexican, very handsome, connected (the son of Jeb, who most people consider to be the more capable Bush brother, which is a shame) and is the grandson of a migrant worker. This is the sort of candidate the Democrats would die to have in 10 years. At the moment George P. Bush is training as an intelligence officer in the Naval Reserve and has stated that he wants to wait 10 years before entering politics. When he does things will get interesting.

Presidential Politics - A Highly Scientific Statistical Analysis

For those of you who haven't been watching (and lets be honest, who is really watching these debates anyway) the two main political parties have been conducting debates over the past couple months. For most people this is extremely early to be thinking about debates... except for Democrats, for whom time until 1/20/09 moves as slow as molasses in a squeeze bottle.

The main candidates, or more accurately, the only ones that are going to even matter a year from now, are as follows. On the Democratic side you have Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards. On the GOP side you have Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and very soon, Fred Thompson. In the following paragraphs I'm going to share with you my pre-pre-pre-pre election analysis on the situation and how I think things are going to go for the various candidates. Keep in mind - Howard Dean was actually feasible for a while in '04 so anything could happen.

Generally speaking, Barack Obama has the support of what I call the "Volvo and Chardonnay" liberal elites, while in a fit of irony Hillary Clinton has the support of blacks and the Hollywood crowd... although Barack is whittling away at that. John Edwards is stuck, in all honesty, with taking votes away from the other two as a way of gaining ground and is still talking about his "two Americas" platform. Although its still a year and a half out, I don't see anyone knocking down the Clinton political machine. Take a guess where my vote won't be going!

On the GOP side, its a little more interesting because the hero to the conservative base hasn't even declared his candidacy yet. There are some rules within the GOP if you want to run for President - you must have the support of the conservatives and you must be against abortion. Without both you cannot get the nomination despite how strong you are on other issues. The conservatives have been waiting for somebody to get behind because frankly, Giuliani is too liberal on social issues and they are pissed at McCain for what they perceive as bad decision making and cooperating with "the enemy." This is why Fred Thompson is statistically tied with Giuliani despite not having declared yet. Fred Thompson is considered to be more reliably conservative, is well known because of his acting on Law and Order, has previous experience in the Senate, has consulted in the past and is a member of the influential Council on Foreign Relations. Another interesting twist - he used to be a lobbyist. In the end I believe that its a two-horse race between Thompson and Giuliani, and things aren't as clear cut on the GOP side so I wouldn't even begin to try to make a stab at who will win the nomination. I think it will depend heavily on whether or not Giuliani can placate enough conservatives and secure enough independant centrist types to make up the gap.

The Rating System

Putting it terribly simply, voters categorize candidates based on how close they align themselves with the candidates philospohy, how attractive a candidate is and where they stand on hot button issues. So, I went ahead and scaled things down a bit. After all, its still early.

The Infamous Gay-dar

Toleration of sexual preference is a litmus test. For the Dems, if you ain't lib then you are glib. For the GOP, stance on abortion really is the standard. Nevertheless, here is my analysis.



As you can see the Democrats are fabulous. John Edwards, in green, gets a little limp towards the end because he supports "civil unions" and not "marriage." What about the GOP?



Fred Thompson, in blue, is holding it down for the "reich" wing sexually, if you ask liberals. Both Giuliani and McCain are moderate and generally don't have a problem with gay people, but eventually diverge because Giuliani is considered to be somewhat fabulous.

The Sexy Factor

We are superficial - its part of the American mystique. How do the two parties stack up?



Hillary in silk make voters vomit, although considering how prolific Slick Willy is and was, I find it hard to believe that he would have married someone who didn't at least have a nice ass when she was younger. Still though, nothing can save Hillary from time, gravity and unfavorable stage lighting. As for Barack Obama and John Edwards - these are some attractive gentleman. Consider the perfect hair of John Edwards and tell me I'm wrong.



Fred Thompson, in blue, is in desperate need of political-strength Maxoderm. Giuliani and McCain are equally attractive, meaning that for politicians they look about what you would expect GOP front runners to look like. Both are also equally subject to caricature.

The Hot Button (El Botón Caliente)

Immigration is today's main hot button issue outside of the Iraq war. Immigration will be a focus point for the '08 election. Where do the candidates stand?



In Hillary Clinton's case even her ACCENT will change depending on who she is talking to, let alone her message. For those of you who don't get my clever reference, Hillary has been known to sound like a black Baptist when she is in Harlem, and a Dixie Chick when she is in the south. As for John Edwards and Barack Obama, they are fairly consistant in their belief that family ties (a common method for illegals is known as "anchor babies") should remain a consideration for illegal immigrants who wish to pursue a route to legality. No Democratic candidate is so far left wing on immigration as to state things like "there are no illegal immigrants, only immigrants" or "California used to be Mexico, thereby for some bizarre reason native Mexicans should be able to roam freely."



Fred Thompson supports your classic conservative viewpoint on immigration... at least that is what he is expected to support anyway! As for Giuliani (in green) he is a compassionate man and wants to help the illegals who are currently here but supports sharp, even draconian, measures to ensure that the flow of illegals stops. As for McCain - well, lets just say that in GOP circles nothing McCain does is right at the moment.