Fuck.

I am sick of people disappointing me.

I put in all this effort... only to find out that they're just laughing at me.

I feel like I'm in fucking high school again.

I fucking hate it.

fair weather friends, I guess.

Fuck 'em.

Better off without.

So I feel a little less loser-ish since I finally did some summery stuff. I have been noticing people around me getting tanner and tanner, while I do not, and thought "gee, maybe they actually go OUTSIDE sometimes"

So friday night I met up with a girlfriend and we had pizza and wine at trattoria aroma- yum- and then heard that people were at stillwater so we headed there. But as usual, it was a weird/lame scene. That place has potential to be so cool, but the 1: music and 2: crowd just kills it. I usually the describe the scene as 50-something moms thinking they're "wild" for dancing to some band's cover of Superfreak.
But last night we gave it another shot... and the crowd seemed a little better, but the band was just playing beach boys and the beatles. Nothing wrong with that, but not really what I want to hear out at a bar... I dunno...

So we moved to the Snooty Fox. I'd never been there before, but frankly it's just another variation on a theme- as is that whole little area (mothers, scarlett, stillwater, snooty fox, prespa)... Sort of the latest see-and-be-seen kind of place. Who knows, maybe I'm just jealous, but I am just not into the girls that hang out at places like that. They all strike me as golddigging bimbos, who just want to show off their $400 Prada purses or whatever. Yuck. So, it was kind of a mixed night. Felt good to get out and socialize and spend time with some friends, and it was flattering to be flirted-with, but in the end wasn't all that fun, and I found myself wishing I were just hanging out, chilling, drinking beers, talking, watching movies and being comfortable, rather than standing there all made-up in uncomfortable shoes and wondering if I looked too fat/old for the place. YUCK.

I keep bitching about how I need to get out more, meet new people, broaden my horizons... but then I do- and realize that actually I'm pretty happy with how things are, and that I'd rather spend time with the people I already know and care about, then spread myself thin with superficial people that don't care about me.

But so then I slept in this morning (just about my favorite thing in the world, and I only get to do it a couple times a month), and then went 'yachting', which was nice. Even though I did little more than sit and drink beer, I am still WIPED OUT. I guess the sun will do that to you... But it was fun. We actually put up the sails and tooled around for a while, even went out past the breakwater, but it was a little rough out there today- much more pleasant when we were sheltered from the waves.

So here are a few pix. I must say, as far as camera phones go, the iphone camera isn't too bad, I don't think- except that I've noticed if you're not holding things totally still, instead of blurring, it just bends and distorts, which is a little odd.


That's the 'Dirty Dinghy', as it is affectionately called, with the yellow sail cover. Notice the 'bent' skyway in the background.


It's (I think) a 22' Tanzer, and thus has a decent sized "below". I like the way the head is under the bed, and you (would) have to pull out part of the mattress to use it. But, it wasn't an issue, since the head doesn't work. Now 3 people and 3 12-packs of beer and no toilet unfortunately is more of a problem for me than it is for the boys. Oy.


Now that's what I call multi-tasking. Drinking beer, talking on the phone, AND steering with your leg.


Proof that I was in fact on the boat. (nice hair, and my teeth look like dentures, but whatever. ;))


And finally a cute little family of ducks back at the dock.

Yay. I love summer.
Wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. :(

P.S. Isn't IE practically outdated by now??
I went to the ATT Wireless website to update my account info, and it wouldn't take my changes. I thought maybe it was a browser thing, so I switched from safari to firefox. Still didn't work. So I sent them an email, and got this reply:
"After reading your email, I have reviewed your concerns. Unfortunatly [sic],
website changes are not compatible with Safari or Firefox. If you do not
have Internet Explorer, you log on to your online account and request
any changes via email or contact customer service directly"

WTF. Get with the program, guys.

I hope everyone had a lovely fourth... rain notwithstanding... Are there rescheduled fireworks at some point?

And does everyone know about this free music on bidwell on tuesdays?

I didn't... But ended up going on tues... it was nice... drank some wine, hung out, then went to heenan's/mcgarrett's/whatever-the-hell that place is called now... and hung out with some friends. One friend of mine (who i may or may not have a bit of history with) was there, but forgot to tell me (when he invited me) that he was on a date- then proceeded to ignore his date most of the time and pay attention to me. I like the attention, but I felt kind of bad for her, and while she put on a nice face, i'm sure she HATES me now... oh well. it was a fun night anyway. Nice to get out for a bit.

Then yesterday went to a barbecue, which was nice. :) we had salmon and pork tenderloin... which was delicious, don't get me wrong, but yeah, I kinda think the 4th is all about burgers and dogs. Went for a lovely boat ride on the lake... very nice. Then gave up on fireworks since it was rainy and foggy and watched horror movies instead. (dead silence, I think it was called. about a murdering ghost and her ventriloquist dummy. it was ok.)

Now back to work... might get some 'yachting' in this weekend, which I look forward to. ("yachting" = sitting on the boat drinking beers and hanging out, as opposed to "sailing" which means paying attention and actually trying to go somewhere).

posted from iPhone. (no not mine) ok gotta go

Well, I'm back- by popular demand.
Thanks for noticing! :)

Unfortunately... I don't have much to say...

One work year has ended, and a new one has started. But not much has changed for me, for the moment.

[word to the wise- stay out of the hospital if at all possible for the next few weeks. Give the fresh-faced new interns some time to cut their teeth and to realize that yes, "doctor" means YOU.]

I am going to Boston this weekend since I am MOH in my friend's wedding.

other than that... oh not much. Have spent a large part of my time being an idiot over boys, with varying degrees of success. I am such a disaster... hehe.

I haven't gone out or been very social in quite a while, come to think of it. Hmm.

One of my best friends from work (and about the first person I met in buffalo) MOVED last week, without even saying goodbye. I am still stinging from that one.

My current dilemma is whether or not to buy an iphone. I really shouldn't spend the $. But... i kinda want it....

god, I can't even think of any good work stories...

I keep thinking summer has just started, but CRAP it's almost july, and I have been outside about twice total.

I have this feeling lately that my life is just passing me by, and I am not making the most of it. I don't like that feeling. :(

Ok, well I am falling asleep in my chair. If anything interesting happens, I'll be sure to keep you all posted.