thanks for the advice and comments you guys. you always make me smile. after i wrote that post i grabbed the only piece of paper i could find...a jet blue credit card application...and just wrote and wrote which always seems to help me. seems to help me organize my thoughts and figure out that being upset over someone who has caused me nothing but pain and anger and sadness in the last year is totally ridiculous, and there is actually no good reason whatsoever to be upset about the whole thing!

i DO like jason's comment as well. not to divulge too much information about myself but i've had my eye on this one guy in this choir i sing in. i don't believe i've ever been so attracted to someone in my life! maybe it's just been long enough...perhaps it's time i actually did something about it... ;)

So here's what's not fun. Looking on Facebook and seeing your ex-boyfriend in his user picture with a girl. Granted the picture is so small that you can't see who it is but you're pretty damn sure it's a girl and you also know pretty well who it is and are not fucking shocked at all who it probably is. What's not cool is sitting in the middle of JFK. crying your eyes out around a bunch of strangers. What's cool yet embarassing is someone you don't even know giving you a packet of Kleenex. I want to just die right now. I just can't even stop crying and I don't know what to do with myself.

Ok well now I'm at the airport. I can't believe I have another hour and half. Puke. AND to make matters worse, THEY TOOK MY HAIR GEL!!! My favorite hair gel that I can't even find in Buffalo and had to buy in Toronto. The jerks took it. This especially annoys me because I got through Buffalo security without anyone noticing or caring. I love that hair gel. Waaahhhhh.

I would like to hit up the airport bar actually but a) I'd have to drag everything with me and b) I already spent way too much money on this trip! But I got some good stuff so that's exciting. I bought new running sneakers which will hopefully motivate me to get back into running. A friend and I are going to run the Buffalo Half Marathon in May and then probably a marathon down in Long Island in September or October. I'm going to need a race before that though. A good 10K or something.

For anyone keeping track or keeping score, I've decided to stick around Buffalo for another year until I go to graduate school. So you are all stuck with me for another year. :D Mike, if you get that music school going, I will gladly apply.

Finally, the kitty in the picture in the last entry with me is not mine but my friend Lindsay's. I am totally and completely a dog person but I absolutely love this cat. His name is Reuben and he is soooooo playful and loving....unlike any cat I've ever met. He crawled right under me when I was lying on the floor playing with my laptop, hence the cute cute pictures of us together. I will put up one other, but then I have to put up pictures of my dogs because they are REALLY my favorites and I don't want them to feel neglected.

So I was supposed to leave at 10:40 pm from JFK tonight and now my flight is delayed until 1:10 AM. I feel terrible because someone has to pick me up at like 2:30 in the morning. And I think it's only because of stupid rain. Ugh I'm so mad at Jet Blue.

But in the meantime look at this cute kitty!!!

So last week I was in Boston and now I am in (on?) Long Island visiting a few of my friends until Sunday evening. Right now I'm staying at my friend Laura's. Since she's not as lucky as me and has a normal job that doesn't have off today, she's at work while I'm hanging around her apartment. I think she feels bad but I'm honestly thoroughly enjoying just having the morning to myself. Soon my friend Mary Beth who is student teaching somewhere near here is picking me up and we're going to get some lunch. I think we'll go see a movie later or something with Laura after she gets out of work. I feel a little like I'm invading everyone's life and that I'm annoying because I don't have a car. (p.s. I ate BLUE potato chips on my flight here and they were delicious.) I want to go into the city tomorrow but Laura has some shoot in the morning and Lindsay, another friend of mine, lives about an hour away from where I am now, which means like an hour and a half from New York, and I don't know if she'll want go at all, let alone be there in time to really do anything. I would actually really like to see Rent while I'm here. I know you can do the whole rush ticket thing beforehand so that would be neat if that works out. I won't be totally bummed if we don't go to the city but it would be nice. I usually really enjoy New York City when I am here, especially when I actually have a plan and am not just hanging around. So we'll see what happens. I think I'm going to go enter grades online now. I lead a very exciting life!!!!