Ok a) I need to switch my user pic now because I didn't realize how my chest was such a focus and that is not generally the look I go for.

b) I want to take a French and/or German class this summer. Kinda for fun, but it would also certainly be helpful towards my Master's. Anyone have any suggestions on where to look for that? I'm sure ECC is probably the easiest and cheapest.

c) Though it is far away, it is fun to think in advance: I'm thinking about getting a part time job for the summer, just for fun and of course to make money. I was thinking possibly a waitress? I feel like everyone should be a waitress at some point and I could see myself being okay at it. But there are many things people can do. I'm sure I can count on the estrippers to give me some suggestions for a fun yet productive (?) summer job I could look into? Also feel free to tell me any funny or ridiculous jobs you may have had yourself!

d) I just took out some anger on some old clothes that I still have left behind from HIM. (I don't mean Jesus...that reminded me of the way the word LORD is always capitalized in like church books). I took some scissors and pretty much went to town and cut and ripped until they were no more. I'm not normally that kind of person...I've never like set fire to old pictures or slashed any ex's tires...but I have to say it was kind of fun. Though I know I can't erase memories, and someday (soon), it won't bother me, it seems to be in my best interest to get rid of stuff that reminds me of him. Though it may seem childish, I think it helps. I can't bring myself to get rid of pictures, so I will at least have those around forever. But running shorts...I can bear to part with those...just means a trip to Target to buy more! Darn.

thanks for the advice and comments you guys. you always make me smile. after i wrote that post i grabbed the only piece of paper i could find...a jet blue credit card application...and just wrote and wrote which always seems to help me. seems to help me organize my thoughts and figure out that being upset over someone who has caused me nothing but pain and anger and sadness in the last year is totally ridiculous, and there is actually no good reason whatsoever to be upset about the whole thing!

i DO like jason's comment as well. not to divulge too much information about myself but i've had my eye on this one guy in this choir i sing in. i don't believe i've ever been so attracted to someone in my life! maybe it's just been long enough...perhaps it's time i actually did something about it... ;)

So here's what's not fun. Looking on Facebook and seeing your ex-boyfriend in his user picture with a girl. Granted the picture is so small that you can't see who it is but you're pretty damn sure it's a girl and you also know pretty well who it is and are not fucking shocked at all who it probably is. What's not cool is sitting in the middle of JFK. crying your eyes out around a bunch of strangers. What's cool yet embarassing is someone you don't even know giving you a packet of Kleenex. I want to just die right now. I just can't even stop crying and I don't know what to do with myself.

Ok well now I'm at the airport. I can't believe I have another hour and half. Puke. AND to make matters worse, THEY TOOK MY HAIR GEL!!! My favorite hair gel that I can't even find in Buffalo and had to buy in Toronto. The jerks took it. This especially annoys me because I got through Buffalo security without anyone noticing or caring. I love that hair gel. Waaahhhhh.

I would like to hit up the airport bar actually but a) I'd have to drag everything with me and b) I already spent way too much money on this trip! But I got some good stuff so that's exciting. I bought new running sneakers which will hopefully motivate me to get back into running. A friend and I are going to run the Buffalo Half Marathon in May and then probably a marathon down in Long Island in September or October. I'm going to need a race before that though. A good 10K or something.

For anyone keeping track or keeping score, I've decided to stick around Buffalo for another year until I go to graduate school. So you are all stuck with me for another year. :D Mike, if you get that music school going, I will gladly apply.

Finally, the kitty in the picture in the last entry with me is not mine but my friend Lindsay's. I am totally and completely a dog person but I absolutely love this cat. His name is Reuben and he is soooooo playful and loving....unlike any cat I've ever met. He crawled right under me when I was lying on the floor playing with my laptop, hence the cute cute pictures of us together. I will put up one other, but then I have to put up pictures of my dogs because they are REALLY my favorites and I don't want them to feel neglected.

So I was supposed to leave at 10:40 pm from JFK tonight and now my flight is delayed until 1:10 AM. I feel terrible because someone has to pick me up at like 2:30 in the morning. And I think it's only because of stupid rain. Ugh I'm so mad at Jet Blue.

But in the meantime look at this cute kitty!!!