So as you all probably know, mine and (e:paul)'s grandma died a little over a year ago and it was incredibly stressful/traumatic for me. Tonight my mom's cousins from Florida whom I had never met were in town and so my whole family minus (e:paul) was at my other cousins house. We were all sitting around talking when we got on the topic of do not resusitate orders. Anywho people started takling about my nonna and then like they started telling the whole story about what happened on my graduation. I started to tear up, it was embarassing and sad. My one cousin could tell and started talking to me about other tihngs which was good. Or at least I think he could tell maybe he just decided to talk about something else.

It was nice to hear everyone reminiscing about how amazing my grandmother was and how she was one of the strongest, best, most loving, caring woman anyone there had known. But it really was a lot to take and now it is all I can think about.

One thing everyone said was how my grandmother always made sure to tell everyone she loved them. She thought it was important to always make sure everyone knows you love them since you never know when it will be too late. My one cousin said everyday when she talked to her my grandma would say something like " i wont' be around forever so just always know I love you and make sure you always share that with everyone". That was my granmda. She always wanted everyone to know she loved them. What great advice. It makes the world such a better place.

I'm starting to cry again...here was the note we found by my grandma on the day of my graduation, i've posted it before but want to post it again.





Always let pepole know when you love them, you never know what will happen.

Happy BIRTHDAY CAREY! HOPE IT IS AMAZING!

So my dream was always to be on the Real World. In the I want to but never actually will be or try to be kinda way. Just like a lofty goal of something I just assumed I would do one day, like other things like being a star on a teen drama and becoming royalty on my own island. LIke you know achievable but healthy goals. Anywho I was just on the MTV website and it says you have to be 24 or under to be on Real World that means this next one they are casting for is prolly my last chance ever to get on. Maybe I will do it. My life will be so empty once I realize I can never be on the Real World. Does that mean I won't be king of my own ilsand someday?

Ok, I just posted a minute ago so read that cuz it is interesting but then I heard the craziest news! FOR FASHION WEEK IN MILAN THEY ARE BANNING ANY REALLY SKINNY MODELS!!! They are doing it to prevent eating disorders or whatever! Ridiculous. There is a reason some people are models in Milan fashion shows and some are not! grrr....it bothers me when people try to make it seem like fashion should be antyhing other than what it is...just purely enjoyable to watch fluffiness and fun....like i can watch real sized people wear clothes any day I want....

So in the current issue of Vanity Fair (the one with the first pictures of the cruise/holmes baby, which by the way looks soo cute in some pictures and terrifying and glasslike/fake/dead in others and deformed in others, so the verdict is out on the cuteness factor of the baby I think and why is Katie so overly happy all the time , it is so fake or drug induced but we all know Tom doesn't belive in drugs)
Anywho that was a paragraph of a rant that is not the topic of this post. The topic is another article in that issue about A FOUR SEASONS HOTEL IN THE CANOPY OF THE RAINFOREST IN THAILAND. Yes, you heard that right. Thye have these crazy tent/hotel rooms hanging from the top of the trees in thailand that al lhave porches and internet access. It is in a totally remote area. It is like being rugged but luxorious. Frankly it is still too rugged for me but it still seems crazy> Who thinks about these things. I can hear the board meeting now....

Guy #1: Well the four seasons isn't waht is used to be, we need to spruce up our image
Guy #2: You know what I"ve been thinking about? There are not enough hotels in trees.
Guy #3: Yeah, I've always thought that. It's always bothered me.
Guy #1: What about not only in trees? But in a dangerous rainforest in the middle of territory controlled by warlords and no real access to the outside world.
Guy #2: But there will be WiFi internet, right?
Guy #1: Well of course, we do have standards


WHOA I JUST HEARD WHITNEY AND BOBBI BROWN ARE GETTING DIVORCED...more info to follow soon