So when I finally left work last night, I walked out to my car... got to the parking lot... and then remembered I was on the ramp, like 4 blocks away. Dumbass. Oh and then got to my car, and got paged. Stupidly, I answered it. "hi, we need orders on the new patient" "ok, well, um, I'm not in the hospital anymore, and I'm not on call." "who is on call?" "Dr. N" "Yeah... well we called him, and he yelled at us and said to call you for you to do it." So I had to fucking go back in.

Then got home, and realized that even if do get thanksgiving off, I won't have time to go home to see my fam, and I imagined spending thanksgiving alone on my couch eating cereal. That was the last straw, and before I knew it I was crying. Just one of those days.

Maybe we need an (e:strip) loner thanksgiving dinner.

Today was not much better. Had to stay 5hr late. Guess I will NOT go out of town for my sacred whole-weekend-off.

But anyway the point of this random post is not [just] to bitch- but just to relay some of the shit that I hear at work.

I work with one guy, sort of my boss for the month, who is actually hysterical, but totally inappropriate. And I couldn't really care less.

But today I was feeling the the lung, and he asked if I could feel the tumor, and I said "yeah, it feels kind of hard"- and in reply got (of course ) "that's what she said".

Then at the end of the case I was putting in some injections, and did a few, then asked "can I get more?" and he said "I don't know... that's a pretty personal question... But, it IS fri, so I wish you luck."

There were also jokes about burying kittens just enough so their heads stick out, then running over their heads with the lawn mower.

I just thought later 'he's lucky none of the tight-ass nurses were in there, or he would be written up so fast.'

Update-
Duh- forgot the whole reason I wanted to post.
So I got an email today from my friend J- saying I won the Stranger than Fiction soundtrack from his blog (woohoo!). [I think I've posted it before, but he has a cool music blog, with a few free songs every couple days- ]
But anyway, he emailed to say I'd won. Then said sorry he's been out of touch, but that their friend T just died. And I replied "T? As in T that had sex with a random chick on the floor of my closet during mardi gras? DIED?!" And he said yup, that's the one.
The kid was 28.
Apparently he was epileptic, had a seizure in the shower, fell, hit his head, and drowned.

Holy fuck.

:(

Yvonne, tell us about your job!

What a fucking miserable day. :(
sucked sucked sucked.

had a long convo last night... a good one... but a few bits kind of left a bad taste in my mouth/filled me with doubt, so I slept badly and that started the day off on the wrong foot.
Then I got to work so late (since my power and thus alarm clock went out last night) I had to park on the ramp.
then realized in my rush out the door I forgot my wallet.
So I would have no money to get my car out of the garage at the end of the day.
Let alone eat (lunch is the highlight of my day, and it pisses me off to miss it).
But the money didn't matter since I couldn't get 5 seconds to myself for the whole damn day. Someone knocked on the door OF THE BATHROOM to ask me a (stupid) question even.
And I didn't get responses to emails that I was hoping for, which made me sad.

Then I guilt-tripped paul and tony into lending me money, but a friend came through at the last second. (thanks anyway guys).

Someone was being a royal bitch all day in clinic, and I tried to apply some of my new thoughts lately and tried to "have compassion" for her and imagine how unhappy she probably is, rather than just hate on her. I was not very successful.

I am starving and exhausted and have a killer headache and don't get to leave here til prob 730.

Ok, done whining.
Sorry for that little outburst.
phew, i feel better now.

J

Dear "guest"-

Fuck off.
and learn to spell.

[And since when is RELIGION about eating less and "excercising"?]

so my six-pack of magic hat had a coupon on it...
go to
to download a free cd.
you have to give them your email, etc, though in order for them to send you the link.

haven't listened to it yet, but it's what i would call hippie music- string cheese incident, umphrey's mcgee, etc.

not too much new here...
work work work, that's about it.
But I am now ATLS certified, so if you are ever in a mobile home and the propane tank explodes and sends you flying 15 feet into a wall, or you are ever a pregnant woman in a car crash, or if you get stabbed in the back and then fall through ice- just come to me. ;)

have been having a lot of conversations lately about... god who knows. sort of the meaning of life, religion, enlightenment... kind of wild stuff that I would usually sort of write off- but now it's got me thinking. Hmm. What IS it all about?? I think a big can of worms has been opened. I hope this is not a bad thing.

-J

Ok, so I decided that for about the first time in my life that I'd try to educate myself for this election. So I picked up the Voter's Guide at Spot today. I am about 30 seconds into it, and already it's making me crazy. God I hate politics. I always feel a little guilty for being so utterly uninformed about politics- but at the same time there's something to be said for my peace of mind, I think.

So I was studying, and reading a chapter about lung cancer, and there was the following in my book:

Primary tracheal tumors are unusual, frequent occurances.

Huh? Aren't unusual and frequent sort of opposites? eh, whatever.

And later it talked about how if you have to remove part of the trachea, in order to keep tension off the stitches while it heals, the usual thing to do is to sew the person's chin to his breastbone for 7 days.
I certainly hope I never have to do that. How horrifying.

Ok, but to my point-
I tend to be scientific and analytical about things. Pretty uncreative, and generally very skeptical of things I can't explain. Hence the whole atheism bit.

But was talking to a friend the other day, and got to talking about freaky math- chaos theory, fractals, etc. And the Fibonacci sequence. A simple sequence, where you start with 0,1 and then just add the previous two numbers together to get the next one. 0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13 etc. No big deal, simple, just some numbers, right?

Well... it turns out that if you plug this into mathematical modelling programs, it will predict, quite accurately, the way branches come off a tree. Or rivers fork and divide. Or the way the human lung is divided into smaller and smaller segments.

And then other equations can map out the stripes of a zebra or the pattern on a shell...

How freaking geek-cool is that?

Must say it kinda gives me goosebumps... Maybe there is something up there in charge of it all, after all. ;)

Here's a cool little article about it. (and this is not new news- this is from 1993).

p.s. paul that reminds me- what happened to the newsfeeds and stuff that used to be over on the right?