Jenks's Journal

08/22/2006 22:00 #23934

Misery.

This is the bane of my existence right now:

1. What caused you to become interested in plastic surgery?

2. What are your career plans and goals?

3. What do you hope to contribute to the field of plastic surgery during your career?

4. Think about a teacher or colleague who you admire a great deal. What about you is most like this person? Least like this person?

All 4 have to fit on one page. This is not a massive paper. I need to just sit down and do it.
I have been sitting on this for WEEKS.
It's terrible.
And it's important. I don't know why I can't make myself do it.

I wonder what would happen if I turned in:

1: my dad
2: not sure yet
3: i have no delusions of contributing much- i just want to be a community plastic surgeon, maybe work with my dad... not invent the next face transplant. Work is a means to an end... not an end in itself.
4:uggggghhhhhhh

All I've gotten down is one little paragraph for 1. Again it's a badly worded question. I'm sure what they want to know is "why do you want to be a plastic surgeon". But that's not what they asked.

instead... i check my email. listen to music. check estrip. read some message boards. work on my tan. do laundry. clean my bathtub (!!).

olemanrunin - 08/26/06 20:59
...these comments are hilarious - thanks again to the estrip for a good laugh!!!

ajay - 08/24/06 13:36
Just put "(e:Ajay)" down for #4. They'll understand...

leetee - 08/23/06 19:26
If you think your dad inspired you to be interested in plastic surgery, then you should say that... with explanation. I reckon honesty is best, isn't it?

metalpeter - 08/23/06 19:03
Along the lines of Liberated you could say that you have been inspired by the Show Nip Tuck and that you want to learn how to do Plastic surgury on your self so you can always look the same age, that would really freak them out a bit.

libertad - 08/23/06 09:53
for 1) I would write about how The Swan has influenced your desire to transform ugly ducklings into beautiful birds.

joshua - 08/23/06 09:11
Cheer up please!

mrmike - 08/22/06 23:20
Need ghostwriting help? We can have a site wide essay contest. Thinking what you have there isn't a bad start. Truth is always a good place to start and it can be prettied up a little to appease the judges of your essay. Expand a little on Dad in Number one and use Number Two to talk about what you'd like to do and what makes it work for you and that can get tailored into an answer in no time.

Used to write for an academic book publisher, slinging it is easy if you can hit the right angle. Relax, you're on the right track

08/22/2006 20:15 #23933

This sucks.

I don't have anything to write about anymore.
My only topic is off-limits.
I miss it/him.
I want my journal back.

Boo!

At least my internet is fixed. For now. Again.

08/21/2006 19:20 #23932

you love me, you really love me!

Aww shucks...
Thanks for all the support guys.
Maybe you really *do* like reading about my soap opera.
Who'd've thunk it.

Just to clarify-
The assholes I am chastising are not from estrip (as far as I know!!).
And I am not going anywhere.
I am just not going to write about a certain crush anymore, since apparently some of the info is being used against him.
Why/how/by whom I have no idea...

And maybe one of these days if I have some time I can edit the posts I had to take down, and at least put the party pix etc back up...

Must say... this whole thing is infuriating... and a little scary...
I don't really like that I have to feel censored and have to watch my back b/c there are some psychos out there... I mean who could care less about my silly little gossip rag...
But apparently someone did.

Sigh...
I prefer my naive little corner of the world where jerks don't smear each other...

Ok, back to work!

-J

kookcity2000 - 08/21/06 22:56
I'm sayin: bitch ass suckas!

mike - 08/21/06 21:43
that stinks that all that happened....i love the word smear

mrmike - 08/21/06 21:00
I'm sorry it got to what it apparently did. I related to a lot of what you were writing about, dealing with vaguely similar things. But we really do like you

carolinian - 08/21/06 20:19
I enjoy reading your soap opera, it would be a shame for it to be cancelled, because I can relate to the "trying to find love despite repeated frustrations" theme. That being said, this is the reason why I try to keep a low profile and try not to put too much information in my userinfo--there's too many petty and close-minded people out there who can't be tolerant of others' reasonable free expression. If these people who are bugging you continue to use your blog to incriminate you/others, you may want to create a new username to post under and withhold identifying info from the user info.

joshua - 08/21/06 20:01
Ask Jason about his post - '04 election situation when someone actually physically threatened him through an anonymous post in the chatbox.

08/20/2006 13:03 #23931

Dear Assholes:

Why do you have to go and take a wonderful resource like the internet and use it to hurt people? And animals?

Anyone who would use my silly little journal as fodder to smear someone's name is truly petty. All I have to say is Fuck You.

-J

Sorry peeps. As much as I'm sure you all love hearing about my soap opera, I've taken it all down. You'll just have to ask me in private if you need a drama fix.

People can be awful.

:(

And time warner can bite me. My internet keeps dying on me. A guy came out yesterday and replaced my modem. And it's dead again today.

imk2 - 08/21/06 18:17
she's not leaving silly! she could never leave us....ever...ever....you will never leAVE....YOU HEAR ME?...YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ESTRIP....OR I WILL FIND YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

vincent - 08/21/06 13:57
I suppose before you fall off estrip forever I should get in my goodbye.

You did appear a bit apprehansive back when you first were going to post pics of the boy and his dogs. I guess he had an idea of what dark forces were lurking out for him.

You really did provide a unique perspective on things and brought a vast amount of cultural experience and knowledge. That I will surely deeply miss.

Take care and hope all works out for you in your life.

Hopefully I'll see you around sometime...

hodown - 08/21/06 09:27
Oh no what happened? If you need someone to kick ass on your behalf I'm down!

enknot - 08/20/06 18:37
This is pretty disparaging. I really liked to read aboot your drama (not a typo, I just came back from a Canadian adventure). I'm curious what would make you want out. Hadda be something drastic, but I'm not a gossip whore, so I guess I'll live with the suspense...even if it kills me slowly... for years...and I'll never know...ever...and I cry every night and ask gawd why? Why'd she have to go and do that!? Why. Why, why, why. Ok now I'm just being silly. It is cool that you're still smiling,

libertad - 08/20/06 18:13
hey jenks. Hope all is well, this seems so unlike you to be this upset. I'm glad you are still smiling though :)

paul - 08/20/06 16:37
Please send me the details via a post-it, my email is down.

jason - 08/20/06 16:14
uhh what?

metalpeter - 08/20/06 14:51
I don't know exatctly what happened, but I'm sorry. If what happend is short enough send me a post it or better yet email me, it should work through the site.

mrmike - 08/20/06 13:10
Sorry about all of that. I feel the same way, especially the Time Warner part

08/17/2006 17:28 #23928

on spines...

Ok, so I've been thinking a little, and wonder what you peeps think of this.

All my life I have been a "nice" person. But how nice is too nice?
What's the difference between "sweetheart" and "pushover?" Are they just two sides of the same thing?

I'll always remember one day in college.... I was friends with this group of mostly guys... And some of them were (are) selfish asses. But we were still all friends. That's just sort of how they were, and I just accepted it. They weren't always super-considerate of everyone- but sadly most people aren't. They would tell dirty jokes in front of me. Sometimes the jokes would be at my expense. I didn't care... I laughed right along. They did it to everyone. I think that's what friends do... I know they care about me... I know they meant no real harm... just good-natured ribbing... Then one day a (girl) friend of mine witnessed some of this... and she was so mad at me. Gave me this big lecture about standing up for myself and not letting them treat me like that... And for a while I felt bad. I thought maybe she was right... maybe I'm some big spineless wuss. But then I thought more about it... I thought I was "rolling with the punches", "being one of the guys", etc. She thought I was being a doormat and letting them walk all over me. I dunno... I'm not sure that laughing off a sexist joke rather than going all feminazi on my friends makes me a doormat... What do you think?

And I was thinking about this some more today. I will pretty much do anything for the people I care about. Even sometimes at my own expense. But I sort of think that's what friends are for.

But where do you draw the line?
I decided today that making other people happy really IS what makes me happy. To the point that sometimes them being happy means more to me than getting what I want. Is that wrong? Is it pathological? Or, if it does make me happy to see them happy, is it just fine?

For me- who I am with is usually more important to me than what I am doing. So when asked "what do you want to do?" I probably usually answer with "I don't care, what do you want to do?" Because I usually DON'T care. Spending time with other people and seeing them happy really DOES make me happy. Am I really being taken advantage of, if the act makes me happy?

I mean it's one thing if I force myself to do things I hate b/c I am afraid to say no... That isn't good. And if it's something I feel really strongly about- I'll speak up. But little stuff, like what movie to see, where to go for dinner... It doesn't really matter to me.

So I wonder... does that make me easygoing and happy-go-lucky? Or does it make me a passive unassertive masochistic doormat? Or does it depend on the circumstances... or is it in the eye of the beholder...

Hmmm

penny for your thoughts...

-J

mrmike - 08/17/06 21:15
I concur with the other gentlemen on this one. Provided you genuinely get to make yourself happy, it's all good and the feminazis can fight battles worth fighting.

metalpeter - 08/17/06 19:26
If the ribbin was funny then it is fine to laugh but just make sure you get a return shot in at there expense. If it wasn't funny or not appricated and you laughed any ways then that isn't ok .

I have to admit reading your post is a little bit scary it sounds like me so much. The part about not really caring what movie or resturant as long as it is one I like is so me.

There is a line between being a "pushover" and nice. I think as long as all the nice things you do you inatate them your self then it is being nice. But when someone gets you to see a movie or do something you really don't feal like doing then you are being a pushover.

There is nothing wrong with making other people happy. If making others happy then makes you happy then that is good. However if you go so far as to do things that you don't like to make someone happy to be happy then that is a problem. It is also important that (e:jenks) also does stuff for (e:jenks) so that (e:jenks) is happy. Sometimes that means standing up for your self sometimes and sometimes calling somebody out.

chico - 08/17/06 18:15
If making other people happy IS what makes YOU happy then I say it's (almost) all good... I mean, you have to draw boundaries somewhere, but I identify with your tendencies in a big way. My Aunt Marie is the same way -- it genuinely makes her happy to ensure that the people she cares about are happy. If you find good friends who have your back when you need them most, I don't see anything wrong with letting them have their choice of restaurants, bars, etc., and even hammering you with some borderline-nasty ribbing. As long as they are willing to take it in return, anyway.