I had an amazing revelation today: if I leave my house, I meet people! Wow!

Last night went to Cozumel. Ran into a girl from work. Got introduced to her h-o-t friend (who is leaving friday for 4 months on a fishing boat in alaska. of course)

Then today I spent 7 hours at Spot. I think it might be the epicenter of the universe. Or at least Buffalo. Or, more likely, I am just finally starting to know people in town, and see them out.

I'm on "home call" which means I can't really go far, etc, so I figured I'd at least hang out and get some studying done. So I went and camped out with my books. As usual didn't get much accomplished. But I enjoyed people watching, and my cinco shake. And my jet tea. And my tall house. Watched one guy get up and switch seats three times (getting progressively closer with each move), and then actually come over and say hi. That was a (pleasant) first... Then I saw (e:mrmike) for a split second. The later (e:joshua) . Then (e:decoyisryan) . Then three people from work. Then my friend Kristen who moved to NYC.

I think someone should do a sociology study on that place. It's like everyone there knows everyone. Seriously I'd say 2 out of 3 people that walk through to door know someone working there, or just hanging out. It's pretty cool.

But I finally had to leave b/c, well for one I'd been there forever, but also b/c I was wearing a little tank top, and after the sun went down, and my sunburn kicked in... well I was really cold. And when I went to the bathroom I realized...how do I put this... it was quite obvious I was cold. I felt indecent. It was kind of embarrassing.

So I came home, and my little frog is dead. :( I'd noticed he wasn't really eating... I don't know what happened. Poor little guy... All the fish are fine, and I never noticed them bothering him... and I tested the water. I feel like a murderer...

Well anyway, time to get ready for work tomorrow. Hope you all enjoyed the holiday weekend!!

-J

So I don't like when people totally figure me out. I don't mean to say that I try to be all secretive and mysterious; but once in a while someone just hits the nail right on the head, and it kind of takes my breath away.

Like a few weeks ago, someone questioned whether I am "my own person", or if I just adopt all my parents' values/opinions without forming my own. And I was immediately angry/defensive, until I realized "oh shit. maybe he's got a point." [And I told my mom this, and she said "oh god. Well if you're going to be a clone of one of us, it should at least be ME, not DAD. I'm much smarter than he is." haha I love my mom.]

But then last night a drunken Work Boy asked me if I could change one thing about myself, what would it be- and I said I'd like to not be so shy. And he said 'yeah... you are too shy.' (gee thanks.) But he went on... "you worry too much about what other people think. You need to relax and live a little. You've spent your whole life being The Good Girl. You've always done everything right, and safe, and boring. You come from a great, but conservative, family, and even your "wild side", your pierced tongue for example, is 'safe'- nothing permanent like a tattoo. You're really this good, reserved, conservative girl- but you want to have this air of mystery and excitement around you..."

Fuck! Because he might be kind of right, but I don't like seeing it spelled out that way.

But, the funny thing is- he was saying all this because I wouldn't make out with him in the middle of the bar and he was trying to convince me "live a little". But as far as the threesome thing goes (which I don't know why I even told him, except that 1- I was drunk and 2- oh yeah I tell everyone everything. fortunately I didn't give any details) he was totally judgmental and "ew gross don't be a skank" and 'what would you tell your grandchildren?'

But enough of that...

So last night my plans kept getting changed around, and I ended being talked into watching the end of the game at Work Boy's house, and waiting for (e:imk2) to be free to go to Swannie House to see Jackdaw. So the boys there were all excited that another girl was coming by, first question (of course) was "is she hot?!". (To which I said "of course", naturally). But so Work Boy seemed totally intrigued by Yvonne. Very curious about how we know each other, and when I was vague about it (only b/c I'm still shy to admit to my inner nerdiness by saying 'online', and also because I don't want him (or anyone from work) reading my journal) he got it into his head that we are lesbian lovers and I just didn't want to tell him. He asked me like five times "c'mon you can tell me! I'm your friend! I won't tell! Have you made out?! I know you have!" And when Yvonne asked how I knew him, and I said work, and she said 'oh he's not from the site?' he was like "what site?!" and I wouldn't say, and he got it into his head that it's some secret society. He's always telling me that he thinks I have some secret mystery life that is very exciting and exotic (because I have friends that he doesn't know- gasp!). But then later in the night he goes on with the "good girl" speech from above...

But anyway, so we made it to swannie, and the boys, who initially were way too cool to go to south buffalo, called to ask where to meet us. haha. They were pretty drunk and alternated between drunk-funny and drunk-annoying. While I was getting the good girl lecture, I think Yvonne was getting an earful about radio waves and how we can't see them.

So all in all a good night. Nice to get out. I didn't get enough sleep, but fortunately I was not hungover, which is a beautiful thing.

And speaking of beautiful... it's time to get my ass outside!! (beautiful referring to outside, not my ass. ;) )

Ciao,
-J

First- nice to see all you peeps out tonight. :)

And next... in a little bout of panic, I have gone back and removed some identifying details from recent posts. Sometimes I forget how small this town is, and the last thing I want is for word to make its way back to this guy that I am blabbing online.

"Hey [girl] what's up? I hear you're looking for a threesome!"
"Umm how'd you hear that?"
"Oh the chick you asked is writing about it online"

(that would not be cool.)

So obviously I ask for your discretion. Please refrain from asking around local [places], etc.

Thanks. ;)

Ok, so I wasn't imagining things. I got confirmation today. It was definitely an invite for a threesome.

And to be totally honest, i'm not sure what I think. My gut instinct is 'um no'. But then a tiny part of me thinks "maybe, for once, I should do something 'crazy'". But maybe not that kind of crazy. Who knows. I'm just still a little stunned over the whole thing.

I may talk a big game, but I'm actually quite shy and reserved (well, at least in person)- this is the kind of thing that I read about in Cosmo, not that actually happens to me. We'll see.

And then I got to thinking...
Am I too open? I have very few secrets. I wonder if I tell people too much too soon. A med student I only worked with for a like a week asked me "what's up?" today. A benign question that generally is just a greeting, and not a real inquiry. But I almost said 'I got propositioned for a threesome!" and then realized, maybe there are some things best kept to myself.... It's like I will tell anyone anything.

What do you think peeps, do I need to turn my internal censor up a notch?

I hope you all got your fill of Jens, b/c I'm switching it up again. Now for your listening pleasure I present Dance Music, by The Mountain Goats.

Oh yeah, and a little shoutout... my friend from high school, Curtis, just had her second book published- The Man of My Dreams. But bad friend that I am, I didn't even know it til my mom sent me a copy. Her first book, Prep, even made the NYT bestseller list, and comparisons to Salinger are being thrown around. Neat...

Later...
-J

First, my sole pic from PMT's last night:



Fun time. Thanks guys!

So it's a gorgeous day out. And I was done with work by 11. Finally. So I flew home and changed and finally went outside. I went for a nice long ride through the cemetery and the park... even took a nap in the cemetery for a few. But I must have forgotten that my pasty Irish skin has not seen the sun in a looong time. Oops. Four hours in a tank top and no suntan lotion later, I'm hurting. Totally lobsterific. I tried to take some pix, (e:paul) style. They don't do the bright-redness of my shoulders justice. Never knew how hard it is to take a pic of your own back. Ah well here they are anyway.







I think drinks/food/people watching on a patio is a fantastic idea for tonight...

-J