Just finished reading The Eden Express by Mark Vonnegut (son of Kurt). Trisha and paulnotpaul read it and had rave reviews. It is, as the title says, a memoir of insanity. A trip through the mind and experiences of a young man learning about and struggling to cope with his progressively worse schizophrenia. It's a good book for a lot of reasons. It is as well written as any book on the subject could hope to be. Basically it tells the story of Mark as he leaves college and rather than 'enter the world' takes off with friends to start something 'new' and 'radical' in the wilds of British Columbia. Right off the bat this appealed to me, so many of my own fantasies that somehow were made real. Of course, the book doesn't stay so great. Mark starts experiencing more and more episodes until he reaches the point where his friends admit him into an institution. Well, I don't know how to analyze it really, I'm gonna stop now. If you wanna learn a little bit about mental illness from someone who knows, take a read. It's well worth it though. It will make you slightly crazier though I think, at least it did for me.

This is a great quote from the book. Not much to do with psychosis, but very good: "We were nuns milling about in between two opposing armies, keeping both sides from seeing each other except through our eyes." That is maybe a good thing to be. Very hard though I suppose, but perhaps rewarding, or maybe you just go crazy.

Here's another Stickboy [inlink]stickboy&id=42,[/inlink]

It is better to travel hopefully than it is to arrive. - R. L. Stevenson

This is the opening quote to the first chapter of The Eden Express->see above

Who doesn't secretly suspect it? Thst Bushiecrew is gonna find weapons one way or another in Iraq. Whether they're our weapons imported or their weapons hidden very very well. So maybe it's a conspiracy theory and all but take a look .

"BASRA -– Fifty days after the first reports that the U.S. forces were unloading weapons of mass destruction (WMD) in southern Iraq, new reports about the movement of these weapons have been disclosed.

Sources in Iraq speculate that occupation forces are using the recent unrest in Iraq to divert attention from their surreptitious shipments of WMD into the country.

An Iraqi source close to the Basra Governor’s Office told the MNA that new information shows that a large part of the WMD, which was secretly brought to southern and western Iraq over the past month, are in containers falsely labeled as containers of the Maeresk shipping company and some consignments bearing the labels of organizations such as the Red Cross or the USAID in order to disguise them as relief shipments."

A little added fun: . A report from Syracuse University . states that the IRS has audited fewer and fewer corporations as oppossed to more and more individuals over the past ten years. So they pay less tax [inlink]terry,182[/inlink] and have less a chance of being questioned than people. It's craziness. Ummm...I wanna talk about Bush and his speech too...but, there's just so much to say, and so little time to say it in. I wanna try to pick the top five or so blunders (out of maybe 500, man, he was soooo bad). I really can't believe he is really our president. Truly amazing. No pretension at intelligence whatsoever. None. Blows me away. Like I said, maybe later....

And let's go kill us some cute little seals. Hell yeah. The hunt is sponsonred by the Canadian government as a way of keeping the harp seal population within limits. Last year's death toll was around 300,000, and this year an increased quota expects to produce over 350,000. Make some fine caps, I'm sure. But, so cute. So cute. Why can't we just kill the ugly ones? Apparently there are over 5 million off Canada's east coast. Enough for a whole inflatable sealskin hot-air balloon.

They make a snake-like slither as they brush upon each other. Each one on its way to crunchng death upon the rocks, if they last that long. From whence they come is still unclear to me. I conjecture that there are tributaries that are clogged and release their flow after periodic breakage. These must be cataclysmic sights. I watched as they moved only on my side, as far as I could tell, caught up in hidden patterns, upswellings, and downsurgings. The water bubbled, roiled, and boiled. Looking towards the source was a beautiful sight I would like to have captured. The bridge above, the three man-made protuberances, the other side fading into lake, and along my whole bank the strip of white. Where in front of me the activity was strong, as the gaze wandered upstream the surge and swell seemed to dispell and the pulsating latticework became whole; a white ribbon, snow-packed road, or toboggan run. But it was the sound that most entranced me. The sibilant hiss of snake coils rubbing, so unexpected from such apparently hard, though melting, bodies. The rush filled my ears, vibrating in time with the chilly gusts that pulled at my face. Atop the water, water yet not water, singing softly onwards to dissolution.

A recent report from Belgium lists the North American continent as the world's leader in genocide. It oulines the destruction on an entire race of over 15 million native Americans beginning with Cristopher Columbus in 1492 and ongoing untill the present. Truly there is no historical precedent on a par with this systematic murder. Hitler only managed to kill 6 or 7 million (and I don't mean this lightly), he may have been quicker and who knows what atrocities were to come but in pure numbers the US surely wins. The difference lies in the circumstances and the timing. There was no one willing to challenge the destruction of the 'savage' race of Indians, indeed most foreign powers surely never even gave a thought to the annihilation. It's also strange how little remorse we show towards our victims. I still remember learning about Chris in history class as a child. He was still revered as the founder of our beautiful new world, we still, to this day, have a federal holiday memorializing the advent of our slaughter-fest. It's sickening. Imagine Germany having a holiday for the inception of Hitler and all the glorious changes he brought with his version of a 'new and better world'. In New York we see even today how these people are dehumanized. The paltry acres left to them from treaties which once guaranteed them portions of sovereign territory "forever" are nothing more than pieces of failed legislation getting in the way of free trade. It's not good enough that the few who wish to retain some of the old ways (whether or not this is true in any meaningful way is almost beside the point: powwow or no it's still their right) ekeing out an existence separate from their occupiers do so, now we need to make sure that their token nationhood doesn't interfere with Chevron's or Marlboro's profits.

I also think that if you add the cost of genocide in the form of slavery the figure would reach astonishing proportions. Not only did we kill the native inhabitants, we also imported other 'savages' from across the globe to be systematically expoited. How many millions died as a direct result is probably unknown (though I am sure there are good estimates out there) but it certainly fits right up there with the Holocaust. Add to that the continued racism and marginialization that black Americans face even today and you get another example of America's true history; one filled with murder for profit, land, and mastery. So I think we deserve our place at the top of the list, we've worked hard for hundreds of years to attain it. Let us bask in our glory, oh proud Americans, and remember the true price that has been paid for our 'freedom'.

A horrible true story of corporate greed:

So my parents were having hard times, in their marriage, financially, and so on. They missed a couple mortgage payments and had the bank take away our home-we'd had it for about 15 years or so (most of my childhood memories happened there). So they had to move out of their home. At this point they were still struggling to pay off other debts and were forced into filing for bankruptcy. A desparate measure taken to regain some normalcy in their lives. Well after they filed my mom received a mailer about a car sale. It was targeted directly at people who had recently been discharged from their bankruptcies. Basically it said something to the effect that they understood their circumstances and were prepared to offer either $5000.00 cash-back or 0% financing on the purchase of a car regardless of their debt history. Great deal, huh?

Well, my parents had since split up and my mom needed a car of her own, so it seemed the perfect opportunity. So she goes down and finds a car she really likes then starts the negotiating. Somehow she has just missed the fantastic offer. They no longer have the great financing or cash back, but what they can give her is a great 16.9% loan. So my mom takes it, she doesn't want to bother going through the stress and hassle of finding another car and dealer, especially knowing the whole time that she's probably lucky to get financing at all this soon after bankruptcy.

That was about six months ago or so. Well, just a couple weeks ago my mom got a letter. Apparently a number of people had received the same offer-with the same end results. They were now filing a class-action lawsuit against the dealership charging them of a classic "bait and switch" tactic targetting those who had just been discharged from bankruptcy. There were already about 50 people signed up. So my mom goes in to talk to the dealer, and he says it's not a big deal and that the most people are getting are about $1,500 each. He then offers to settle with her for $5,000 (the amount of the make-believe cashback offer). Of course if she settles out of court then she has to sign a contract that states the dealer admits no wrong-doing, she won't sue for damages, and that contains a gag-order, that she not discuss any of the details of the 'alleged-crime.' This all rose my hackles because last year I read Ralph Nader's No Contest which is a 400 page book exactly about corporate abuse of the tort (civil lawsuit against a corporate abuse) system. I told my mom to go after him in the courts and to not accept any out of court settlement. First of all it denies her any punitive damages (over and beyond the actual cost of the crime), and secondly it is important that these people be publically tried and charged so others don't fall so easily into their trap. That's the danger of these settlement offers with their attached gag-orders-they let the crime go on for all those who don't happen to be a part of the lawsuit. Also, if the guy was already willing to fork over $5,000 just to keep my mom silent that is a very good sign that he is well aware he is going to lose this case. Go get 'em mom! Make those corporate bastards pay.

don't they? education, people. very important, but! institutionalized education is not all it's cracked up to be. the fact that it's crafted means it has a purpose beyond education. we need to teach our children, personally. education should be a family process which involves the imparting of knowledge from the senior members to the younger members. this is how we get knowledge which has something to do with circumstances instead of knowledge which imparts only faraway and inconsequential knowledge. it's great to know that a theory of relativity exists but much more important to realize that the factories are oppressing you, and always will. americans have learned that the important information has nothing to do with their own lives. this breeds apathy and disinterest. but education should be about things that matter. i really believe that this is a big part of so much dissatisfction with education. why should we expect people who barely have the necessities of life to have any interest in world politics, history or scientific thought? so, if you have kids, please invest in them, impart your knowledge, and don't trust any educational institution whose only purpose is to make you accept the sorry state of your existence.

sidenote: whoa Condi! what the hell wrong with you girl. you lookin a little stressed, baby! c'mon girl, relax abit, just tell the truth. get it off your chess...

that i want to talk about. i am tired of patriotic people who traipse about talking about how great america is for all of her vices. i say whatever. why is america so cool? i just ask myself, besides the fact that i was born here as oppossed to somewhere else, why are we such a great country? really, in the context of every other modern industrialized country we don't have much to brag about. You can maybe say that we were the exemplar for many of the changes (though I am not sure how far that flies), but even so right here right now (thank you again jesus) we are falling ever farther behind our contemporaries (education, wages, labor, prison population, corporate scandals, etc.). so i can't really understand this american pride thing. is the argument that i should honor the land because i happened to appear in its boundaries? in that respect why the fuck ain't i a beautiful indian? where are my flowing black tresses? and my wide lips, welcoming every papoose? instead i have lank blonde hair no lips to speak of and am oppressed when i raise my voice against the slaughtering of innocents abroad. halleluja! i guess i am just asking those who are 'proud to be american' why? give me some reasons. make me believe.