I look like a weirdo and a psycho in normal life, so don't take this picture as all there is. I look much less depressed usually. It's almost party time. Whoopie! Also, I went to a really fun neat party, in a crazy old fancy house, with crazy cool fancy people. Co-op house rules.

Man, I hate when I get caught up in excitability, especially over a grownup techno child star. Like waking from an acid trip or something, er, so I would imagine, uh yeah. Well I want to talk about plants, and how they are a great and easy replacement for children in our lives. Nature (or my social environment) has chosen to give me (and apparently many others) a desire to take care of (and/or absolutely dominate/control) a being which is moslty helpless; this is commonly referred to as parenting. At this point it is abundantly clear that way too many people are finding this desire and implementing it ad infinitum. I propose that we all learn to subtly interpret these so called instinctual desires on an individual basis rather than blindly giving into the narrowly accepted definitions as focused through our social lenses. Yeah, OK, rambling now. So anyways, plants are real cool. You can get them real small and, through a litle practice and patience, they become glossy green paragons of plantliness. Of course, not all of our (and let's not use the word experiments) children will grow up ideally. Some will never get the proper mixture of nourishment and sustenance that they crave unless slowly guided by a caring hand. You must monitor and steer the course of their eventual development. Care must be taken to not prejudge. Not all plants are created similar, each has its own quirks, which if properly coddled will yield an abundant mixture of fuits (of the physical, emotional, and metaphorical kind). Aw the joy of sculpture.

This is a big part of me. I will have to explore it later. Let's all focus on the Blumster.

She is something. Anyways I had this great posting about her, and I just hit the stupid back button and lost it all, grrrrr.... Here is a briefer summary. She's a cuter version of Brittney Spears who sings high-pitched to pretty neat techno beats. Her songs include: U-bahn ins Paradies (Subway to Paradise), about how his love takes her directly to heaven, Schmetterlinge (Butterflies), about the butterflies in her stomach everytime she sees him, and, my favorite, Du bist d'Insel (You are the Island), about how he's the island, the desire, the rainbow in the rain (im Regen der Regenbogen), so sweet. You can probab;y download some if you desire, it's not for the faint of heart, or ear. If you're really desperate I could post a song or two for you to try out. Maybe I've just revealed too much about myself. Dirty dishes man.


Looking alluring and very adulty sexual. Oh my lovely.

and the differences, or more especially the differences. When a viewpoint is taken it must be based on an assertion. An assertion, by defintion, places one thing into the category of 'truth'. When one thing is deemed truth, another must become 'untruth'.We come back to black and white. Sometimes I feel that I have certain beliefs, and I try to encompass a full worldview when I come to these decision. My worldview is determined by my world, or environment, which is solely dependent on me. My world is different from all others, be it my roomate or Tenli in Singapore. Are common beleifs attainable, when the intial environment doesn't overlap, how can the eventual result thereof coincide? I would love to draw a diagram here; it consists of two circles transpositioned on a 3-dimensional plane. The circles have 4-dashed lines marcating their spatial reference points through space. Their origins are separate. The dashed lines intersect at various points along their paths,but never more than three of the four lines. The final position is determined quite randomly; that the eventual destinations are one is infitesimal (but apparent). This diagram would demonstrate that mindsets could coincide but it is unlikely. The number of instances where a consencus is reached (defined on our diagram as circles that intersect for an appreciable amount of time) are more numerous by far. We come to the conclusion that any social change is a process of blending, that the original black must fade to gray. Gray is the color of my true love's hair.

My grandpa has just suffered a stroke. I guess it was not bad, they're calling it a "mini-stroke" which apparently means that there has been no real permanent damage from it. But any stroke is bad news, and he went in for testing to determine the cause. They found that he has something wrong with some valve or something and also three blocked passages. He is going in for heart surgery tomorrow where they will rip open his chest and perform a triple bypass plus whatever it is they do to fix the valve. Luckily, thanks to all the American fatties, this surgery is very commonplace nowadays and they are very opptimistic about it. This is the problem with grandparents-they are old and are invariably having these sort of problems. At least even if the worst happens, he got through 83 years of life, 5 children, 16 grandchildren, and who knows how many great-grandchildren (already like ten of them, and we're just getting started). That's an accomplishment.

So I got into a minor fender bender today. Very annoying, and only slightly my fault. Three point turn on Elmwood, stopping traffic (my fault, I was a little late for work). So the traffic was stopped and I back up, turn my wheel, and press go. Paul screams watch out and I see that the woman who had just stopped and watched me back up to make the turn had decided to go in the interim (pure stupidity). So I scrape the side of her car before I can come to a complete stop. I agree that I should have been a bit more patient and waited for a larger break in traffic, but c'mon, she had already stopped and watched me backup. Where did she think I was going? She said she thought I was backing up into a driveway or something. Yeah, maybe an imaginary driveway that wasn't there...whatever...geesh. I'm probably gonna lose my insurance now, and be forced to drive without it and then when I am being pulled over the next time by some freakin cop I am gonna have to run, probably run someone over, eventually jump out and abandon the car and make my way on foot through the countryside, chased by dogs, helicopters strobing the area, I'll have to lay in ambush and take out a few of them, steal a uniform, and adopt this strange cop persona for the rest of my life, my wife's name will be Betty-Sue and she will make the worst chili dog sandwiches, so I will eventually have to leave her with my two "new" children for her elderly rich uncle, who will pamper me throughout the rest of my days on the condition that I oil his mustache with precious bodily fluids every other day; his dog Fluffly will eventually drag me over the edge and I will be forced to another heinous act of aggression after this one time when he complains that his curl isn't tight enough, I will inherit his millions but then be audited by the IRS and go to prison, to live out the rest of my days reading C.S Lewis and drooling but only on the inside. All because of this dumb broad who couldn't curb her haste as I had'nt curbed mine.

So someone won a million dollars today at my work. Yeah a million dollars ($1,000,000), you kinda have to see the number to appreciate it. Imagine how many car payments fit inside there. Yeah a five dollar lottery tickets instantly elevates a normal middle-classer into the bizzare realm of millionaires (well probably not really, the taxes alone will take a couple 100Ks). Exciting anyways...

Go to the recipe section and try some cous cous (still trying to think of the proper body part) and soup. MMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm...

Trisha...welcome!!! I just posted a recipe cuz I thought you did and I dind't want it to be lonely. But now I don't see any recipes and I thinks yous a liar girl. Even so, I am happy that you have finally joined us virtually. Last night we went to see something by Stan Brakhage at .

Mostly images flying by so fast as to be mind-boggling. At first I hated it and then slowly I descended into a semi-trance state where my eyes never focused and I let the images wash over me without trying to specifically identify/interpret anything. It was trippy and I am sure that I have been subliminally directed to do some evil deed 2-5 years from now. Until then my mind will slowly be warped as this newly planted seed grows roots; tendrils of subversion slowly boring their way into my psyche. Well that's my theory anyhow. We'll see. Here's a link to a site about him



My favorite was the Dante collection (paint globbles spiralling in and away from the vortex). Check it out.