I'm back after running away to nyc for the weekend. I had a good time. Most of the trip was solitary traveling. I like people to watch strangers. New York is a large state. I had some drinks with Mr. Walsh, Nate, Sherrie, and Ned. I know Mr. Walsh and Nate from Atlanta. One was my teacher and the other a fellow student. Sherrie I just met that night. Ned went to Alfred with Mr. Walsh and I'd met him before.
We all went to a bar and had a few drinks. I reminisced in my mind about homo erotic wrestling in the interactive video lab (IVL). We all piled into dans car and left the bar to go hang out at Ned's house. Sherrie lives in the same building. On the way up the stairs we noticed red crap all over the back of Sherrie's dress. I remember following her to the door saying "hmmm, it almost looks like menstrual blood." She went to change but then she never came up to Ned's place.
Mr. Walsh, Nate and I decided to take off so we went to the car. Nate was in the front and I climbed into the back. I got something slimy on my thumb when I climbed into the car. I held out my thumb exclaiming "ewww gross what the hell is this!" Dan pulls back over and we realize it's all over the back seat. I jump out of the car shaking my hang off and gagging. We realize that Sherrie managed to secretly vomit on the ride back. Mr. Walsh wiped up her vomit with a merry Christmas dish towel that we left laying on the side of the street in Brooklyn.
The next day I boarded the train and got back to buffalo at 10:30. The subway wasn't running and I had not arranged a ride so I walked back to my house from the station. I got to see the clean up crew removing Buffalo's taste. Keith left me a message asking if I want to go to South Carolina. I called the number he gave me but I haven't heard anything back.
I talked to Andy for a good long time. I want to go see him but who knows. I think I'm finally going to clean up my messy apartment and try to focus on my academic work.
I've started reading a book called A Slave Holders Daughter and the title is apt because it's written by a woman who was born in Mississippi the year the civil war ended. Her family lost it's fortune.
It is terribly bias but at the same time it's interesting to hear a first person perspective on the conditions of life back then. I'm fascinated with the idea of slavery, mainly because I believe that it still exist but needs to be better defined. I mean working full time for six bucks an hour, isn't that slavery, in a way? Why is it that some people are screwed in life and others have opportunities fall into their lap? What is this American dream people like to speak of? I don't know. I'll figure out these thoughts eventually.

member tha time?
[inlink]terry,208[/inlink]







[inlink]robin,136[/inlink]

My night on the town caught up with me apparently cause Bob fired me today. I feel bad for him. He told me that my priorities are messed up. My coworker has his priorities in the right place but he's fucking bob's daughter so ... he needs that good impression I reckon. Well, actually he's just a nice kid, not nearly jaded as I am.
It's interesting to be fired. This was my first time. It's more fun than quitting. The plant watering thing was getting old, I mean it's nice to do you know? Flower's are pretty. I'm sad. I was starting to like scraping the rust off of trash cans, it's oddly satisfying.
I've been considering my priorities all day and I realize now that jobs suck. I'm excited about this teaching thing but that doesn't start for a while... What am I going to live on? hmmmmm... I sure as hell don't want another bullshit menial job.
I've got to start thinking about my syllabus for the fall. I was to show the kids all kinds of things. Teaching seems like it should be rewarding. My class is in the afternoon so that's lucky. I want to see the kids make things. I can't wait. Making flowers grow Vs making people grow, same damn thing is some ways. Ittle be nice to have a job where I get to use my noggin.

To bad I have a month to kill.

There are all these street people and I need to utilize them. I want to start carrying around a video camera while I water flowers and take time out every now and then to get people to act in a written script. I'll give all the actors a dollar if they want. I'll have to get people to say something. I need a character. I was thinking of being, Pansy the fish seller and making people ask me "Hey, pansy will you sell me some fish?" ... yeah um
This detective McDonnell called today. He told me some lady got her teeth smashed out when someone snatched her purse. The attacker followed her home from the walgreens. Scary shit. I'm trying to wear clothes with pockets and carry as little as possible around with me. Keys and cigarettes.
I had another meeting with jack Daniel's last night. I remember the first night I met that particular brand of whiskey. I was 14. I had three girlfriends staying the night with me. My sister liked to take her truck and go cruising in Calhoun (in between the piggly wiggly and the movie theater).We tagged along with her that night.
12 yr. old, Shannon
13 yr. old, Courtney
and my Gemini twin, Taffy


We were loitering in the Family Dollar parking lot watching the cruisers drive by. Taffy found some rednecks who agreed to go to the liquor store for us. He came back with a huge bottle of Jack.
We went to my house and got drunk after that. I remember a Mexican skirt, being topless, and blue hair dye every where. Seems like Shannon threw up a pickle and Courtney kept pointing at it saying "look Shannon you threw up a whole pickle" and Shannon was crawling around on her knees in her vomit asking "where, where"?

The man was around 5.8
He was stocky.
He had a round face and round eyes.
He had medium brown skin and short curly black hair.
He wasn't that young or that old, maybe 30?

I tried to make some drawings.






Just to prove how bad I am at drawing from memory I did a sketch of Paul, Matt, and Terry. Can you tell who is who?

I went over the Keith's house at around 1. I was just stopping by to see if they were still rocking and Keith and Tack were chilling. I sat around and bullshitted for a while. Keith kept farting really loud. The stench finally drove me away.
I said goodnight around 2 or so and went downstairs to hop on my bike. I put my purse in my front basket and unlocked my bike. A man came up and put his hand on my purse and asked me
you got any money?
I have a couple of dollars that's it.
How much?
maybe five dollars.

Then he grabbed my purse and ran. I started chasing after him screaming at the top of my lungs. Screaming and screaming loud as I could. I don't know if I was afraid or full of rage. I'd guess the rage part was more.
Well, after I chased him up the street screaming Keith and Tack came running out but we lost the guy. It's hard to run and scream so loud at the same time. I must have woke up half the neighborhood so I apologize to all the residents on Franklin Street. One guy was nice enough to call they cops and 3 or 4 cars came out pretty quickly but I doubt that they help me.
I felt bad because I'm wearing my "my heart belongs to Satan" T-shirt and I bet police officers don't think it's funny. Yeah, I hope they can help me but I doubt it. They sure as hell didn't help with my bike.
It's kind of stupid ya know? Here they want to arrest a kind and peaceful man like Steve but if a man steals a young woman's purse in the middle of the night there's just no helping her in fact it's better to be rude to her. Her, that's me, I'm her. They should give that dude who took my purse a medal. He's certainly an asset to the community.
I've never needed police officers help until I moved up here to buffalo but I wonder what the point is anyway? They're not going to help me.

Watch yourself people!

He got my God Damn cell phone to. So please e-mail me your phone number if you want cause I kept everyone's number in my phone so now I don't have anyone's number but Soyeon's.

I hope that thief enjoys the tampon.

What could possibly have made Steve so curious about biology?

---

__________________________________________________

Bacteria in home of art professor spurs indictment on fraud charges

Genetics scholar from Pittsburgh also indicted

By DAN HERBECK
News Staff Reporter
6/30/2004


In a case that has angered the art world and raised concerns about academic
freedom, the federal government obtained mail fraud and wire fraud
indictments Tuesday against University at Buffalo art professor Steven Kurtz
and the chairman of the University of Pittsburgh's human genetics
department.

Kurtz, 46, and Robert E. Ferrell, 60, are accused of illegally scheming to
use Ferrell's position with the University of Pittsburgh to obtain two
bacterial agents that were found last month in Kurtz's home laboratory on
College Street.

Kurtz's attorney said the bacteria were harmless, and authorities made no
allegation that the men intended to use the bacteria for terrorism, but U.S.
Attorney Michael A. Battle said the investigation is continuing.

Federal prosecutors and agents call the indictments a case of protecting
the public safety in post-9/11 America.

Kurtz's supporters in the art world accuse U.S. Attorney General John D.
Ashcroft of making a heavy-handed attack on free speech and artistic
expression.

"This case has nothing to do with artistic expression and everything to do
with public safety," Battle responded. "Regardless of the plans these two
men had for these materials, we can't allow people to buy and distribute
bacterial agents like this under false pretenses. It's not a case of
terrorism, but it's a case of mail fraud."

But Edmund Cardoni, executive director of Hallwalls Contemporary Arts
Center said "these indictments are going to outrage people in the art
world."

"To me, it looks like a real stretch," Cardoni said. "The government
couldn't make a case that (Kurtz) was trying to make biological weapons, so
they hunted for another charge to use against him."

UB spokesman Arthur Page said the university will "carefully review the
charges and make a determination whether any action on its part needs to be
undertaken." He added that the university is also committed to encouraging
faculty members to have "academic freedom to pursue research," and providing
a safe environment for students and staffers.

Kurtz is scheduled to appear in court July 8 before U.S. Magistrate Judge
H. Kenneth Schroeder Jr.

"On this case, the feds have gone from terrorism to protecting the public
safety to this petty charge," said Kurtz's attorney, Paul J. Cambria. "We'll
be fighting this in court."

Cambria said Kurtz was using the bacteria for research for his work with
the Critical Art Ensemble, a performance art group that has been critical of
government policies in biotechnology.

The two biological agents seized from Kurtz's home were bacillus atrophaeus
and serratia marcescens, which are not alleged to be highly dangerous
substances. But prosecutor William J. Hochul Jr. said the substances were
purchased under false pretenses by Ferrell, who said they were going to be
used in research at his university.

Some e-mails exchanged last December between Kurtz and Ferrell provided
"significant evidence" in the case, Hochul said.

"Hi Bob. Well it looks like my bacteria is not as harmless as I previously
thought," Kurtz allegedly wrote in one e-mail, quoted in court papers.
"While not wildly dangerous, it is associated with pneumonia and urinary
tract infections . . . Seems to be hardest on kids and people with



compromised immune systems. Do you know what kind of strain we are getting,
and how toxic it is?"

Ferrell's response was not contained in the papers.

Serratia marcescens is a common bacterium found in soil, water, on plants
and in animals. Once believed to be harmless, the microbe has increasingly
become associated with hospital-acquired infections, including those of the
urinary tract, especially among very sick patients who are more vulnerable
to infection, according to microbiologists.

Bacillus atrophaeus is another common microbe with characteristics similar
to anthrax, except it is harmless. As such, it is used as a stand-in for
anthrax in biological studies, microbiologists said.

Before the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, and the anthrax scare, researchers
routinely shipped bacteria to each other, said UB associate professor of
microbiology and immunology Terry Connell. Since then, he said, the federal
government has instituted strict regulations that scientists view with mixed
emotions.

Indictment papers allege that Ferrell illegally gave Kurtz the bacteria
after purchasing it from the American Type Culture Collection laboratory in
Manassas, Va.

"There are very strict procedures for getting these materials," Battle
said. He said the investigation showed that Ferrell was fully aware of the
procedures but violated them.

Kurtz is an artist, author and associate art professor at UB. He previously
taught art at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh.

According to University of Pittsburgh officials, Ferrell is a highly
respected scientist and professor. "Of course, we're concerned (by the
allegations)," said Robert Hill, vice chancellor for public affairs. "We
have cooperated with authorities in the investigation. We hope there is a
swift and positive outcome."

Ferrell could not be reached for comment. His attorney, Efrem M. Grail of
Pittsburgh, said his client is "surprised and disappointed" by the
indictment.

"(Ferrell) is a well-respected, honest, principled and experienced
teacher," Grail said.

The FBI investigation began May 12, the day after Kurtz's wife, Hope, died
from what police believe are natural causes.

Emergency first responders called to Kurtz's Buffalo home found what they
considered unusual items in the home, including a laboratory and petri
dishes with bacterial cultures in them.

When asked if authorities believe the bacteria kept in the home could have
contributed to the death of Hope Kurtz, prosecutors declined to comment.
Cambria said there was no connection.

As the case plays out, Cambria predicted, the public will learn that
Ferrell and Kurtz had only good intentions and never set out to defraud
anyone.

"There was no criminal intent here," Cambria said. "These men were setting
out to advance enlightenment and knowledge, which is what professors do."


e-mail: dherbeck@buffnews.com

News medical reporter Henry Davis contributed to this report.

I've been meeting all these people off the street while I'm on my gardening or flower watering patrol. This week I met two Vietnam veterans.
I was with the group of suburbanites and merchants pulling weeds and turning soil when I met the first man, Carl. The super gargening lady brought him over because he said he wanted to help. He made funny little music noises under his breath. He touched things like his hands were new, like a toddler he enjoyed the fresh sensations as he crumpled the dirt between his fingers.
Then he took the shovel from my hands and lifted it up horizontal. It made me nervous. I braced myself for the worse and Carl started playing air guitar on the shovel, swaying his hips asking "Y'all know Keith Richards man, Mick, Y'all know crazy Mick?" and so Carl was a big hit with all the sulky young gardeners who were only there because someone agreed to give them some undisclosed amount of money.
The next day I was on my usual plant watering route. I'd stopped at a Sunoco to make use of their watering spout and smoke a cigarette or two. A skinny old man in short shorts and sunglasses started up a conversation with me. Jimmy was his name. He told me he was in Vietnam and I told him "Yeah my dad was drafted but he was injured in training so he never had to go overseas." Then Jimmy started in on war stories.
The bright sun shone down on us while he told me of the perfect trap they had made for the Viet Kong. The perfect trap, he said, and then out of no where came the bagpipers playing loud and proud. The Viet Kong killed every one of those bagpipers. There were no rules in that war. They killed them bagpipers and Jimmy had to get his men out of there. The perfect trap foiled. Now when Jimmy is flipping through channels and sees a bagpiper he goes straight back in time to the massacre of the bagpipers who ruined his perfect death trap.
The good news is there are lots young soldiers coming home from Iraq who could be destined for the same future as Carl and Jimmy.

Dream on 1/03

I was at this place. Apathy I guess. I had to do something with video. Lori and Tena wanted rides. I got mad at tena/lori and she and I went to find our parents to settle the dispute. They were asleep. Lori said "Lets Leave" I said "Hell No." There were three people in the bed. Mama, Daddy and this stripper from the Claremont Lounge in Atlanta.
Eventually I left Lori and Tena and walked out into the yard. There was a little boy in a chair. I thought he was Matthew's corpse from a distance. I was in a towel. The little boy was drawing pictures. He wrote me a love letter. I couldn't figure out how to get off the beach. Stairs went nowhere. It was beautiful. I got in the water and lost all my clothes. A man showed me where the stairs toward the road were.
I took them. They were extremely narrow, less than 7 inches wide then they started to be flimsy and break. I held on got to the bottom and went outside. My video friends Jesse, Kyle, and Kirby were there. We went walking under a bridge and it was smoky. People were coughing and running. We made it out and some lady talked about our work. I put on one of my videos but people got quite and watched it so I turned it off.

Later 1/03

Lori said "Let's leave" I said "Hell No"
Lori was uncomfortable with what we were seeing. I wanted to know what in the hell was going on. As usual I was dominate in our conversation. Although Lori is two years older she's usually more passive than I am.
There were three people in the bed "Mama, Daddy, and this stripper from the Claremont Lounge in Atlanta"
It was strange because my parents haven't shared a bed in years and now this crazy old stripper is in the bed with them.
This makes me think of the time I was 14 years old and I was sitting in my house up really late on the computer. My sister had gone out with the quarterback of the football team several hours earlier. When he came to pick her up I was in the yard with one of my girlfriends and I had my underwear on over my pants and I was running around the yard all goofy thinking I was cool.
Later, really late my sister got home. We smoked cigarettes in the front yard. She told me these guys had raped her. She was drunk. A helicopter flew over our head and my sister screamed and cried and hid behind a rock saying "It's the aliens, they've come to get us"
The quarterback's girlfriend kept calling and I told her that her boyfriend raped my sister. I was crying and screaming into the phone. I never told my parents because I was afraid of getting Lori into trouble for being drunk. The next day Lori told me that nothing happened but I knew better.
6 years later when my niece was a baby, I got Lori to tell me the story. She went to a hotel room and got drunk with the quarterback, Demetrios Romine, and they had consensual sex. Then Demetrios' friend Josh Casey came. Lori told me this is when she started to freak out. Josh was the first guy my sister had ever had sex.



Well, that's the end of that old journal entry. I remember I had to stop writing because Lori called me on the phone and interrupted my reminiscent writing. I was alone in my apartment in Atlanta at the time. I was freaked out that Lori called right when I was writing about her and I didn't want tell her. Lori has a pretty good 6th sense, much better than mine. I don't think I even have one.

I've finally accepted that maybe my sisters denial was smartest thing she could have done at the time. What would have happened If she took those guys to court?
-Miss what were you doing in the hotel room?
-Miss why did you think it was OK to go to a hotel room and consume alcohol with this young man if you were not planning on having intercourse?
-Miss isn't it true that you had had sex with both of the defendants on previous oc
ca
sions?

What kind of God fearing southern Baptist 16 year old would have wanted to go through that?

I'll never forget that night as long as I live. My sister drunk 16 years old, freshly gang raped (two's a gang right)? and freaking out. In the midst of her freaking out that night she told me that they stuck a bottle inside of her and then she started crying hysterically.
That's what made me so full of rage (and still does). That is her body. She can do whatever she wants with it but there was absolutely NO REASON for those guys to treat my sister's BODY like it was their TOY and humiliate her so. I saw her hurt when she got home that night. and that stupid jealous bitch kept calling all night. "Where is your sister, where is my boyfriend Demetrios" I screamed at Ms. Emily Alford and told her you're boyfriend raped my sister but she didn't believe it or maybe it made her happy. Emily thought "that's what she gets for going out with my man."
Baubo save us from jealous teenage girls!
Of course being from a small town there was no way getting around the gossip or avoiding the rapist. Demetrios swore his innocents to me at a pasture party years later but I still think he's the scum of the earth. You can''t be there and be innocent. In this world you're either the victim to the aggressor. The oppressor or the oppressed. My sister did tell me though that it was Josh Casey who started the trouble. He shouldn't have been there.

well, besides the daydreams of stapling their butt cheeks together with a staple gun or cutting off dicks and balls and throwing them in a blender in front of the tied up rapist the only actual form of physical revenge went down at a trailer park party two years after the rape.
I was 16, working at Wendy's. I told my folks that I was closing that night and then I went out with my buddies, Big-D, Slim, and Beaker. The party was in a teenage meth whores trailer. She was a nice, pretty, and fucked up girl. I got pretty shit faced quickly. I was in the back room with Slim just being drunk and wallowing around (nothing sexual I was pretty uninterested in sex throughout high school). Josh Casey comes into the room. I knew exactly who he was. He smoked a big fat joint with me and Slim. After he smoked his pot with us I took a huge gulp of my beer and spit it into Josh Casey's face. He left I guess and Slim laughed his ass off. After that I went into the kitchen and slapped the hell out of some thick-necked white boy who I mistook for Demetrios. That guy got all pissed off and full of rage but Big-D scared the hell out of him for me and the Demetrios look alike ran off leaving behind a big bottle of liquor. I'm not much for revenge I guess.
Karma will get those mother fuckers if it hasn't already.