Tonight I took a bath and enjoyed seeing my boobies. They are nice and shiny in the water. I thought about how when my breast first started growing I would measure their progress by making or trying to make two little islands on the surface of the bath water. The older I get the tips of the islands get further apart.
I remember sleeping on my chest trying to stop my breasts from growing. I didn't want them but they came anyway and I guess I've learned to love them. Thery're squishy and I can titty feed a baby someday, if need be. I still don't like them that much. I always wanted really small tits but i got these instead, they flop around sometimes!

woW, I can't believe my eyes. There must be a foot of snow out there and I have to trek to the store to get cigarettes and laundry detergent. I'm cleaning this place up. Snow makes spring cleaning feel surreal. I went to bed at noon and woke up at 8. Its a decent schedule. I've gotta figure how to finish all the things I need to get started on.
I was on the net this morning seeking information about the teenage mutant ninja turtles. I had a crush on them but I was having trouble remembering which ones I liked. I remember hiding behind racks of clothes in Walmart fantasizing about hanging with the turtles in the underworld (sewers). It was great. I think I liked Raphael and Michelangelo. Raphael was a sour puss and Michelangelo liked pizza. Hey this link helps,http://www-scf.usc.edu/~nguyench/ITP104/Tables/Turtles.html#The%20Good%20Guys I liked all the turtles except Leonardo, he sucked.

I'm wearing green. I think that's what I'm supposed to do today. If you don't the kids will pinch you but I didn't wear green around the kids because I didn't realize the significance of the situation. I did drink beer until about 8 or9 do I guess I celebrated in my own way.
Isn't drinking called the well of truth or something like that? If truth exits from my mouth when I'm drinking truth must change every five minutes. I confuse myself with my statements. Keeps on raining, look how it's raining...
Hey, in my presentation of Friday I talked about elmwoodstrip.com. I printed out my journal and showed a video of Mawmaw telling tales and then I showed a book of Kentucky folk tales. I tied everything together with oral tradition.
I just talked about my own journal so I guess I'm selfish, this lateral thing, I have to stick with it. I just read the stories in my journal. It's story telling stuff. I read my Dad and my Grannies stories.
Showing the home video of my Mawmaw was the greatest. I turned around to look at peoples faces while they watched it. There expressions were mixed between confusion and unfriendliness. I thought that was funny. I didn't prepare to much but I had some genuine concerns concerning the content of Mawmaw's storytelling.
She's a little nutty but the sweetest lady ever. She tried to tell the story or Rawhide and Bloodybones but I think she forgot so she tells the story of her brother getting high on whiskey and hearing a ghost knocking around. This is what gets me though, she starts talking about a black man ghost searching for his big black toe.
In the book of Kentucky folk tales, Hell-fer-Sartin (this is the weirdo book terry stumbled across in my house) they have two of the stories Mawmaw was talking about one is Rawhide and Bloodybones the other is Big Black Toe. The big black toe story doesn't mach up with my Mawmaw's tale. The creature in the books tale is a creature with a tale, not a black man. The use of storytelling to install a fear of black men into kids is scary but I think that has been passed down to me somehow and I guess if it were not for video I couldn't analyze this occurrence so much. I heard my Mawmaw's version of the story when I was a kid. Stuff like this needs to be uncovered and deconstructed ... but nobody in the class has much to say about that... I guess it's just shit that doesn't belong in the public, hell, I don't know. I could have made people uncomfortable or maybe I was mumbling so much that a didn't get across my points.

I feel like sleeping but then I want to get together a good presentation for tomorrow. I hope most of the class shows up if I'm going to stay up all night in the state that I'm in some people had better be there tomorrow, giving a shit and all! I've copied my journal off the site and I'm thinking I'll pass it around during my presentation and talk about it a bit. There's some stuff on here that is worth bringing up I think that's why I brought it up in the first place but a lot of it i'll skip, kind of I've still got to figure this shit out + I have like 22 videos to draw from granted I hate most of them and a lot of people have seen a lot of them I can do whatever I don't care as long as I care. Isn't that a great organizing ramble, yeah, just like home, OK really, I must wake and think, wake and think?

Did you get any good pictures of the bathtub?

I wrote my Dad a e-mail the other day telling him about how I didn't got the job I was hoping for and some other worries, this is the advice he gave me in return. I like it so I thought I'd share.

Do not get stressed out over petty items. Several years ago I was working on the Jewish Temple in Atlanta. I was complaining to an old Rabbi who had been a prisoner in the Nazi camps. The old Rabbi looked at me and told me I did not have a problem. He said now if someone cuts off you head and hands it to you, you have a problem. Otherwise, you just face a small nuisance.

This is an image from the video I've been working on. Each layer moves, the eyes, the torso, the mouth.


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Missing Image ;(

I forced myself out of the bed at 3:45 and rushed down to the bank but those fuckers closed a few minutes early so I'm moneyless for the day. I had some dream where I was taking my little niece around a produce market and she kept getting into everything then Tony Conrad was cleaning up my living space because he wanted to snoop around in my stuff. He uncovered a crazy old painting that I had never painted but in the dream I had painted it. It was incomplete though.
I stayed out to late last night and got to drunk, whiskey and cokes. We went to town last night at 3 or so. Ivan almost passed out at the table. Sometimes I wish I had more of a handle on censoring the thoughts I choose to make verbal when drinking, oh well. Then I got home and typed back and forth to Courtney until 6am. She's crazy from to much work.
When Courtney and I were around 13 we stayed up all night one night waiting for the day light so we could walk half a mile down the road to another pasture and pick blackberries. We did it but the berry picking didn't last long because we were so damn tired. We got around half a bucket and then walked back home and slept all day. For the rest of that summer our schedule was topsy turvy and now I seem to be back on that schedule. It was fun then. Courtney lived at a house with a swimming pool.

come on, the libby is leaving, the blond bartender, she's super cool!

I slept till 7pm. I dreamed that I took my black cat up to the roof because she needed to be fucked. There was someone up there and rugs the cats sniffed the rugs and got all horny, then they started fucking, It was funny to see a cat standing on two legs fucking another cat from behind with it's little penis. I also dreamed about chasing teenaged boys because we needed their lizards, also I saw a little girl kill a lizard by pulling it's tail to many times. The lizard got all limp. It was sad. It looked like a little dead brontosaurus.

I've been thinking about my castration lately, I wonder how long I'll continue to bleed.

Crazy girls, Courtney we always seem to get each other in trouble. This is nothing new. Its been happening since the days Bevis and Butthead were on the tube, in fact that's one of the reasons we became friends in middle school, a mutual love of B & B. I feel like a butthead. I'm sleepy as all get out. I had a job interview this morning so I didn't sleep last night because I was afraid that I wouldn't wake up for the phone. I really hope I get this job. I need that money. I can teach kids digital video, no sweat. Please spirits, let me get the job, I am poor, my student loans are going to consume me.
I feel bad for the porn lady. She seems to be confused about sexuality but then who isn't. It's the caps that bother me. Porn is boring to me at this point, I'm desensitized to it I guess. I get sick of the female domination. I'd rather not have sex at this point.
In middle school I used to read all my mom's harlequin romances, then at 14 I started looking up porn. It seemed contradictory to me, the idea of romantic love and the image of pornography. I don't know what it is but I'm VERY turned off lately. I guess it's stress and the stalkers. I need to make things. I need to market my work. I'm damn tried on top of it.
I can go on like this forever and I think I will. I've got to make this installation for the show at city hall. I'm still all confused with my concept. It's about structures of organization.