back in the day, when i lived in dorms, i was never suprised by the fire alarm going off, never thought it was a serious event. even when there was an actual fire in my friends' room in another building, i still didn't take alarms seriously. i would put on my slippers and shuffle out into the night like everyone else, without a worry that my things might be destroyed.

now i'm in a similar situation, in a large building where you have no clue what's going on in other apartments. tonight was the 2nd time i've heard the alarm go off since living here -- not bad for a one year period. mostly it's a hassle, but now i have this worry that there might really be a fire and i should leave as if i won't be able to come back.

still, i waited a while after the alarm first started to actual put myself in action. before, the first time, the alarm stopped just as i was about to leave my rooms. i was hoping for a similar situation tonight, and just kept putting off actually leaving and facing a gathering of my neighbors. when i heard the sirens of the fire trucks, i decided it was time to go.

then there's the "what do i take" question. everyone knows that the answer is "nothing," that you should just get out as soon as possible. but i'd already dallied quite a while, so i felt i had time. i grabbed my purse (containing wallet and cell phone), my computer and my portable hard drive, then threw in a pair of clean undies for good measure.

what does this say about me? i did consider taking photo albums, but my bag was already full. i figured that most family pics have doubles with my mom or someone, and i don't really look at photos of old friends any more, so i left them all. my computer/work and clean underwear. hmmm.

when i joined neighbors on the lawn, most people had nothing, some women had purses, i saw one guy with a six pack. there was a low probability of fire, but what if the building was burning? am i crazy and materialistic?

what would you take?

i went down to niagra square with soyeon and zoey to see ani difranco play. but then it started to rain as soon as we arrived. we bumped into another UB DMS person and his friend (a former UB DMS person) and chatted with them. we listened to the end of the opening guy -- he wasn't too good. then during setup for ani, heavens opened and nobody really wanted to stay. i wouldn't have minded getting completely soaked, but since my fellow concert-goers wanted to go away, i brought them back to my place. we had some drinks, played some tetris (i kicked their asses w/ 150 lines), and chatted a lot. zoey invited us to go to a party co-hosted by her parents at their studio. on the way out, we checked out the early fireworks from my roof. met up with even more UB DMS people, and some other folks up there. i even met some of my neighbors (always good to know who lives in your building). fireworks from the roof of the ambassador were cool because we could see them exploding all over town, but mostly far away and not as enjoyable as sitting right underneath a display. eventually went to the studio party over on niagra. there (another roof set-up), lots of local illegal fireworks made the show much more exciting -- but it's still better to be underneath fireworks than parallel or above. then the heavens opened one more time and we lined up to take the ladder down to the studio. we hung out there for a little while, then on to the pink to meet some other UB DMS folks. the DMS folks did not show, but some art ones did. then all the rock stars flooded the place and it was crazy. they all had the look, the attitude, the candy. i'm not a rock star and i don't think soyeon is either, so we gathered up zoey (who could be a rock star) and home we went. that was my fourth of july. god bless america.

in the fashion of (e:maidencateyes), this is me. it's a picture from february -- today i most likely won't be wearing a turtleneck! if you see me, say howdy.



(e:soyeon) and i are heading down maybe around 3:30 although (e:ajay) says she goes on around 6pm, so maybe later as i don't like to hang out in crowds very much.

hopefully i'll see some of you there....

who's going down tomorrow to see ani? i'm looking for some company.

Robin, you have the worst luck ever. I'm glad you're okay, but it still sucks.

Soyeon and Paul, congratulations on not smoking! keep it up. if you want to see any pictures of diseased lungs and mouths, babies dying of second hand smoke, or a middle aged man with an oxygen mask, i've still got some canadian duty free cigarettes with all their propoganda still intact.

The Grand Jury Investigation of Steve Kurtz is not over. They've issued the mail/wire fraud indictment, but continue to think they'll be able to drum some bioterror threat if they keep trying. So, they're still subpoenaing people/companies to speak of their knowledge of Steve's activities and beliefs.

Holly's right when she calls them the Thought Police. If you think hard enough, they just might show up on your door next.

[inlink]azurexeruza,6[/inlink]

if i had the chance to tick a "long hair" box on a list of turn-offs, i probably would. but the contradiction azure noted holds true -- i know many long-haired male specimens and i totally dig their hair.

i think what scares me about unknown long hair on boys is the high chance of hair that is stringy/knotty/greasy and just generally unkempt. long hair that's a result of laziness -- that's the turn off.

robin, thanks for posting the info about steve kurtz' indictment. here's the press release from the cae defense fund website:
a link to the indictment is also posted on the main page, if you'd like some entertaining reading.

while it seems that it's silly and over-reactive to charge him with anything, i'm glad that it wasn't bioterrorism. the charges, mail fraud and wire fraud, can be serious, but the prosecution will have to prove that steve had a serious and criminal intent, a "scheme which in its nature is directed to defrauding a class of persons, or the general public, with a substantial pattern of conduct." i'm confident that they won't be able to prove this...but the government is scary and who knows what they'll dredge up next, or how words or intent will get twisted. but at least he's out of the grand jury phase now. i do have more faith in standard trials/juries because at least he'll be able to hear what witnesses say and defend himself if need be.

this is all crazy crazy shit, even if it's a minor bit better today. thinking about big brother brings me down.

i hate waiting for a email to arrive. all i do is hang around my computer and click "inbox" every half hour or so. it drives me into depression. especially when i end up waiting for 5 days or more, as i have been now.

eventually i'll stop checking and months will go by and i'll send another note and all will be well again. but i don't want those months to go by. i'm not ready for it.

so i watched about a boy tonight (i love anything and everything nick hornby lays a hand to) and was reminded that U2 used to be a pretty good band. the trio of joshua tree, rattle & hum, and achtung baby cannot be beat. so i slipped in achtung baby hoping to rock out. but it's only made me even more sad and depressed.

wow...

i'm not sure i have ever partied till 7 a.m. before. definitely 6:30, but i think this is the record for me. (obviously i've been a good girl.)

thanks to epeeps etc at the pink--i loved it there. also many props to keith for hosting the eventual naked dance party. i now smell like man sweat. and my own, too. still, there's this lingering otherness.

i really had a fabulous night. i should get some sleep, but i also need to clean up the apt. as julie may possibly be crashing here. i should clean in any case, really.

i'll miss the prom, which i'm very sad about. hope you all have as great a time as i did in the last 24hrs!