well, it's thursday night which means i'm here alone at the store until all ungodly hours of the night.
well, 9:15.
been here since ten, no shoppers since 11:30ish. what a long ass day.
worked on my inventory for a bit, but it numbs my brain and will give me something to do on saturday if there is aweful weather.

have you ever felt like you're wasting your life at your job?

this is a good job, no doubt, but lately, since about the middle of last year, it all just feels like a waste of time.
i used to be really into my job, used to like coming here everyday.
back when we had customers. psst and employees.
since saturday to today i have been here aprox 40hrs, with sunday off. my only coworker is my boss' daughter who's part time and not very, sall i say.........well, she's the boss' daughter.
she's been here about 10 of those hours, 2 of them being when i was gone on tuesday night, so really for about 8 hrs of my time. my boss has cancer and is not very well and really is not here very often, actually about an hour from sat thru today, all on tuesday.
sure i make hourly and commission, but the steady decrease in customers since we sold half the business (used to be two connected stores) is really atrocias.
i remember days of haveing three sets of customers at once between two stores all day long. today i have only had two customers at all, and neither of them were even close to buying.

idk, i really don't want to work here anymore, especially since i lost money in 2006. sure i have virtually no competition on the sales floor, but i also don't have any help in maintaining the store. i know that (i have fridays off) when i come in on saturday the place will be destroyed like always because of it not being cleaned up after each customer comes in. because of laziness. because of the feeling of being deserving just by being blood and not having to actually earn a living.

the whole situation is depressing and aggrivating.

i don't want to just quit though because i've put too much effort into this place for the last five years and i do owe my boss quite a bit in regards to our actual friendship.
the problem is she's fighting her illness and is never here.
when carolyn got sick the store got sick with her.
idk.
problem is too that i don't really want to leave this job for another one like it because i really do not like sales. it's so redundant with the same kind of people with the same kind of questions with the same bitchy attitude when they're actually expected to pay for their goods.
somewhere along the line a lot of people 'learned' that they're entitled to special deals by just walking in the door. i have no idea where this mentality came from but it's so overly abundant now it's suffocating.

i hope i get into buff state.
i really want to be a historian.