and not tia chi.

that is currently what i am drinking.

well, it's monday. i'm at the store. just me, some old school moby before he completely sold out and 1000 area rugs.

so it's been a bit since i blogged on here and there's probably a million and one excuses i could make as to why i haven't but why lie? i haven't felt like it. plain and simple.

at least in the meantime the weather has warmed.

'do you think the weather will hold?'

'no, i think it's gonna stop!'

so anyway, getting to leave job early today which is pretty alright. gotta haul home some of my moving boxes. woot.

and i just spilled hot water all over my hand. sigh.

well, i'm in a pretty good mood today for some reason. maybe it's the warm temperature, idk. rocked out to sequencer by covenant on the bus. definately one of my all time top 5. not that i'll be able to list the others now, but still. the music i make is, i believe, on a machine more advanced than that of covenant from when they made sequencer, and yet, they sound so much cooler. then again, they do have a lot more practice than i.

now that my boss' daughter is gone from the store and i'm in total control, i love my ability to listen to what ever. now i have an apop song playing, it's awesome. i don't know whether to hang rugs or dance.

well, it's still a little early in the day for dancing.

found a new owner for my poor poor car yesterday. glad to be rid of it but sad at the same time.

oh, whatelse. did nothing last night after painting at the new place, played a little oblivion and went sleep. played with my cat for a while. i wanted to get up a bit earlier today and stop at the bank to deposit my birthday checks from my fam but once again, i didn't. then again, i need the money in a few weeks so by leaving it in check form, i can't spend it so not a bad thing right?

why am i hungry?

i ate yesterday.

i have terrible eating habits. i eat like once a day if that. i'd say on average in a 7 day week (as opposed to one of those 9 day weeks) i eat five of those days and just once.

see, before i was in the air force i was a heavy dude. my whole life. if any of you were over weight for high school, you probably are aware of what that can do to a kid. anyway, when i lost it all in the air force (they have a great workout program called get up at 4am and start running!) i was determined to not put it all back on. but i hate working out, i have no work out motivation what's so ever. so i just learned to not eat, which in of it's self i believe would be some type of eating dissorder.

oh well. i smoke too much, i drink too much, i don't eat or sleep enough. i'm probably not gonna make it to retirement age.

meh.

i suppose if i had a reason to actually want a long life i'd be totally capable of changing my habits, but a lot of the time right now in my life i feel like 'eh, what's the differance?'

seabound just came on, huzzah! idk why i put this song in here. 'with out you' it's kind of depressing to a hopeless romantic. it's a release from the poisonous friend single, which is still my favorite seabound disk. good haujobb remix on there, the third version of poisonous friend is the best version in my opinion. but actually, this band called fluke does a remix of, i believe it's call control......hmmm, maybe contact. anyway, that's the best ever!!!! so kick ass. if i like it so much i should probably lean it's name huh??

well, yesterday my boss was in for about 45 minutes. she had her chemo so she was really out of it. luckily she's on the weakest level of chemo she's ever been on and her hair isn't gonna fall out for the third time. it is adamantly refusing. anyway, like i said, she was pretty out of it, so i didn't bug her w/ store crap as there really was none anyway. so we talked about john cusak movies for 40 mins.

being 27 now in 07, i was raised, like so many of us 20 something odd balls, on john cusak movies. i personally blame john cusak for a lot of my way of thinking about love and life and relationships. he made the geeky hopeless romantic into a novel yet tangeble protagonist who you really want to win in the end. the problem is that he generally does win. going at life with the john cusak 80's hopeless romantic mindset ultimately just makes you cynical about love and life, as when you follow the patten you typically see that yes indeed, good guys do finish last.

ahh, the world.

i need a new book or two to read. i'm stumped. got two really good ones from my mom for xmas, but was done w/ both of them by the second saturday in january. then i reread the history of narcotics. then i read house of leaves again. then i read dune again. just got my copy of the 48 laws of power back from my dealer, but i think i'm gonna pass on that one again for now.

i need some cool non fiction.

any suggestions if you bothered to read this far?

i have this book about the nazi's and hitler';s obsession with the occult, documenting everything they did before, during and after ww2 concerning it. it's awsome and totally freaky. they had some uber seriously fucked up plans. i forget it's exact name, but you should find it if you google nazi's and the occult. spectacular reading. i've been thinking about finding a book about the ottoman empire, seeing as it ruled a huge part of the world for almost 500 years. the last great empire before the world was changed by the great war.

really, looking at history, ww1 and ww2 really did change the course of history quite substantially. people were less isolated and more connected after that. idk, i'm sure it could be my entire thesis in college for history. but i just found out last night i didn't get excepted.

i also heard this morning that another friend of mine won't beable to move southward and go to college this years either. thank god hydro got into where he wanted and we all didn't come up short.

blech, well, ok, this is once again long but fuck it. not butt fuck it.

endin' it today on new order.

ohh you've got green eyes, oh you've got blue eyes, oh you've got greeeeyyy eeeyyyeees