HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Merry Christmas!!!!


...Damn, thats a lot of snow...

I am very bored. So I did a survey.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. brig
2. queens
3. b
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. scaryglowworm13
2. mysticmoon13
3. brig613
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. creativity
2. talent
3. loyalty
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. depression
2. glasses
3. i need a job oh so badly.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. irish.
2. english.
3. french.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. tim curry
2. clowns
3. tim curry dressed as a clown.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. chapstick
2. a shower
3. my computer
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. pj pants
2. blue tshirt
3. hair band.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. googoodolls
2. ani difranco
3. bob dylan
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. extraordinary girl-green day
2. ill see it thru-texas
3. turn me on-norah jones
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. getting a job and keeping it for more than 6 months.
2. going to school.
3. learnign to drive
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. loyalty
2. comfort
3. friendship
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (not necessarily in that order):
1. i can't wait til I leave for my audition.
2. i am terrified about my audition
3. christmas is my favorite holiday.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT [your preferred] SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. perfect eyebrows
2. blue eyes
3.
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. make phone calls to anyone other than my close friends
2. ride the bus unless there are perfect weather conditions, i know EXACTLY where i am going, and i have EXACTLY the right bus fare and all the schedules.
3. sit thru mass
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. acting
2. writing
3. my political statement collage that is probably going to be 100 feet long at the moment.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. go to AADA
2. call one of my friends
3. go to sleep
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. actress.
2. writer.
3. politician or lobbyist or political analyst.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. new york
2. montreal
3. california
THREE KIDS' NAMES:
1. eloise james.
2. michael vincent.
3. rosemary elizabeth.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. go to ireland
2. play the part of Harper Amity Pitt in AiA
3. be published...in the sense that I actually get paid, not this poetry anthology bullshit.

YAY!!

Yay for what, you may ask?

Yay for libraries!
And parks!
And arts funding!
And restoring jobs for deputies,
Prosecutors,
Nurses
And emergency workers!

Erie County adopted the green budget!
Now I don’t have to move to Niagara!!!!!!

Ok, I’m done now.


(I heart the library.)

My audition is in less than a month.
I still have not memrized one of my monolouges.
I still don't have transportation or a place to stay.
I am still not sure I have the moral support I was promised, either.
My parents spent my money for the trip, so I have to find as many babysitting jobs as possible in the next month. So far, I have one.

Christmas is in less than a month.
I do not have any money whatsoever.
I do not have any idea what to get for my friends and family.
I have been stuck in my house on decoration detail for over a week.
I have to go to 10 parties in 2 weeks.

I have to go get a tree, babysit dolores, go shopping for gifts, finish making molly's gift, go grocery shopping, take bernie to breakfast with santa, have dinner with ka, and go see miss julie at CTC, and magically find 500$.




I think I need a xanax and a cup of tea.

My friend, in the past year, has cast out his three best friends from his life.

And it makes me wonder.

What horrible atrocity do I have to commit to make him unable to forgive me, too?

Apparently nothing at all. :(

I
hate
holidays.


Happy Thanksgiving.

won another poetry contest.
more publication.

still working on preparing monolouge for audition.
more memorization.

have to go see dolores tomorrow since yesterday was her b-day.
more cake.

also have to talk to rick about NYC.
more yelling.

emailed christina.
more worry.

december is in a week and a half.
more memories.

library picket on tuesday.
more outrage.


...you kno, it's surprising how much you can miss people that you never knew you would...

My friend is like the Christmas Nazi.
She absolutely loves the holiday. Me, not so much. Christmas makes me think of things that happened during that time of celebration that don't make me want to celebrate...me getting diabetes, fighting with Nick, katy's dad's heart attack, my nervous breakdown, and michael.
I am also forced to see certain people during the holidays, and this is hard. For instance, christmas in my house means my cousins, namely duffy and katie. duffy, who i am still so upset with after events of this summer, and katie, who used be one of my best friends, but now we just say we'll call each other and never do. it's like that with my friend meg as well, whom i also see at christmas, tho i don't know if i will this year.
Christmas is just a rough time for me...it's hard for a person to understand that. Especially the Christmas nazi.
I love her intentions, and her generosity, and her frindship...but everyone else in my life understand that I'm not going to get all uppity abotu the holiday a month before hand. they know they can get a good two or three days of christmas cheer from me. they know that even tho i pray for christmas miracles every year, i don't really know if i believe in them.
it just got to the point where the whole month of december became this huge nightmare.
and frankly, no mater how much therapy i get or how many plays i write...it's always going to be this dark spot in my year.

unless, of course, christmas miracles are real.

"Now comes the revolution. If you don't implement a conservative agenda now, when do you?" ~Richard Viguerie, New York Times, November 4, 2004.

How about never?

Here comes the revolution, yes…alas I would assume that revolution would come from those who would buck the system and fight the conservative agenda.
It has been 2 days since the election, and it just keeps getting worse. I am a big believer in hope…but truthfully I have very little.
I cannot imagine living in a world where people I love are persecuted and where there is no freedom of speech, press, thought, or choice. I can’t imagine living in some Orwellian existence.
And I think I have a right to say that I don’t accept this. I won’t accept this.

So what can I do?

I need examples here, people. Because sitting on the sidelines and letting things go to shit has never been something I can do. So what can I do to make a change? How does a person change the world?
I must find an answer to that question. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to pass them on.