This blog is fast becoming about my mother. Today its about the fact that I could never throw the huge parties I do or provide the holiday feasts that I do without her. Nor my sister.

In my family, we alternate who hosts Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinners. The funny thing is Mom is the one who cooks the elaborate meal no matter where it takes place.

I have been so busy with my jobs that this year, she even did the grocery shopping for me - for the meal I supposedly am cooking. (I actually don't think anyone is fooled). She checked the sales at each of four grocery stores and spent Monday getting the best deals. She spent clearly half of what I would have if I had gone to the same big fancy grocery store to which I usually go. She cut coupons and used rebates. I merely showed up at her house yesterday, loaded the groceries into my car and gave her a check.

To top it off, she made me dinner that was served with ice cold beer. I did get to help her by choosing which one of the rug samples looked best in the room that is her next project. But that's it. Tomorrow she comes to my house to help me prep the meal and make the desserts. She will bring all the utensils and households items I do not own. We will laugh, discuss all the current political races, and lament the state of the union.

So I ask you, what have I ever done in life to deserve the super-mom? Maybe its what I did in my last life. I wish I knew what that was so I could do it again.

It's gotten to that point. Since I moved back to Buffalo from NYC, I have gained 20 - count 'em - 20 pounds. Let me be clear, it is not Buffalo's fault, it is completely mine. Oh, and the changes in my life - my martial status has changed, my lifestyle has completely changed, my habits due to the lifestyle changes have completely changed, I'm older, and I have gone from working one job for 10 hours a day to working three some days fourteen hours a day. I have moved from eating low-carb for about seven years to eating was is readily available and quick. Not good.

There is good news. I think I am happier. Problems is because I am older, I just can't remember details enough to determine if the previous statement is in fact correct.

My mother tells me its okay that I have gained weight because she says before I was too thin. When I told her how much weight I gained, she said nice mommy things like "you can drop those couple pounds". Moms. Got to love 'em. That's the way it used to be. But my metabolism has really changed and I don't seem to be able to drop weight like I used to. It is a cruel joke your body plays on you. Insert evil snicker in here.

When I was in graduate school, I would drop between 5 and 10 pounds every exam period. That occasional life-altering event gave me lots of leeway in the weight department. Maybe I just need to go back to graduate school.

As a follow up to my earlier post "I am a Disappointment in Some Depts.", we had our company Thanksgiving-themed lunch today. And let me tell you, it was fabulous. The food was amazing and different. Everyone looked like they were trying everything. Some things were clearly homemade. Some things were not but were eaten anyway. Now we are all fighting the urge to nap at our desks, but all are very satisfied.

I walked into one of the rooms and could not help but smile. I work in a really rare office - one where everyone gets along and no one seems to be that negative undercurrent that steals everyone's enthusiasm. People were talking and laughing and having a good time.

I openly admitted to all that I did not bring anything and that I did want to subject them to any attempts on my part. I donated towards the flowers. That's really all I am good for when it comes to dinner parties. I have come to terms with this. I bring bottles of wine that the guy in the wine store were good.

People were passing out recipes and I obligatorily took one. It will spend quality time with the other recipes that I have taken from other parties and they will keep each other company until someone finds them after my death and donates them to a loving home.

The really good news was there were several men that I work with who also did not bring anything. Maybe I am more like the 1950's male. Maybe my mother's generation's struggles in the workplace were not in vain, as I make as much if not more money than some of my male counterparts and I do not bring dishes to pass. Women, perhaps we have achieved equality. Thank you strong women who have come before me. I now have the freedom to be just like the men with whom I work. Well, sort of.

More dread of dreads. The company Thanksgiving luncheon. Everyone brings a dish to pass. Sounds lovely I guess (this is my first year of this, as I have only been at this job since late last December). I am supposed to sign up to bring something - something fabulous no doubt.

People in this office bring in beautiful things all the time. They make elaborate cakes for each employee on their birthday to share with the office. Some good ole fattening lusciousness I tell ya.

Problem is I have a night job too. A really busy, encompassing one. I am very very careful to never give the impression that my moonlighting ever impacts my day job. And I hate to shop, grocery or otherwise.

Oh and there's also another problem - I hate to cook. In fact I suck at it. I am dealing with some talented folks who so ruin the curve for people like me who consider saltines and beer separate and important food groups unto themselves.

My mother's generation fought for equality. I do not want that to be in vane. I want to be equal to so many of the men I know who just come home from work some nights, watch hockey and eat foods that might be consider bar snacks for dinner. I fact, I am really good at that. It is fulfilling merely because I am home, my puppy is at my feet, hockey is on and beer is plentiful. I am a cheap date. I do not wish for more. I want to be the 1950's male.

I have no desire to strive to be better, to be everything. There is a great David Shire tune in the musical "Baby" called "I Want it All" sung by characters wanting to be everything - career women, mothers, role models.

But I do not want it all. My mother's generation would likely not be happy with me. My gene pool will never replicate. I do not wish to download recipes and bring creative things to work to impress my co-workers. My idea of creative is creatively choosing something at Delish. I am happy with that.

Maybe I'll bring some Delish cookies and claim I made them.

I have lunch every Friday with a dear friend who works in a line of work that has a ton of people contact and his employment is completely at the whim of his clientele. For clarity's sake, he is not a stripper. Problem is the job has been held by a succession of people who have left because of just a few bad apples. The bushel in question apparently has a couple of folks who just need someone about whom to bitch. It seems they just need some controversy to motivate themselves to get out of bed in the morning. Its like the melodramatic soaps in Spanish only with less hairspray. It's the old "pay attention to me me me or I take my business (and my checkbook) elsewhere."

I really feel sorry for his predicament. I want him to fight but I have a feeling you can never really win these kinds of battles short of a rampage with a gun. The sad part is that it seems there are some folks who really like him and his work but they are not vocal. In fact, they have allowed this to happen to others before him and failed to stand up. They lament the loss only after the meanies have run the next one off. The silent chicken majority.

I realize some of us grow up but even as grown ups, are we still bullied by the bullies? So is adulthood really just uber high school? Does the squeaky wheel still always get the grease? Do any more clichés apply?

Oh horror of horrors! Dread of Dreads! Its the time when I must fill out the narc-on-myself self evaluation forms at work. Its quite the dilemma.

Do I rate myself "above average" when it comes to problem-solving? Will my employer then feel that I am totally full of myself and apparently can't be trusted with any important decisions? Or should I be humble and put "average" and have my employer think "hmm, she apparently is not as good at problem-solving as I thought she was".

There is nothing to address this dilemma in the employee handbook. I checked.