Journaling on estrip is free and easy. get started today

Last Visit 2016-05-07 18:36:56 |Start Date 2004-01-01 03:50:14 |Comments 1,671 |Entries 1,171 |Images 455 |Videos 13 |Mobl 214 |Theme |

Category: location

02/20/07 11:58 - ID#38219

leaving new york

i got home very late last night. it seems nobody ever wants to drive me to/pick me up from the airport. i do it all the time, but alas, i feel that i always put in way more than i get, from anything or anyone these days.

i took a cab home, which was actually fine, because i was really tired and didn't feel like talking to anyone.

the longer i stay here, the more i feel like i don't have enough friends. or really anybody to be there when i really need it. its ok because i learned to be fine on my own, but it would be so nice to live near my sister, or mother and have a friend/loved one always around. i guess im not the kind of person who likes to be fiercely independant. i like knowing that i can get help if i need it. plus, i want to be there for my family as well. i miss them so fucking much i think it actually hurts.

i know i always say, im not going to stay, but this time i really can't. buffalo is such a small little bubble, and i feel like i owe it to myself to want/have more. its so clliquey, and gossipy. i can't leave the house w/o seeing somebody i know, and half of them i don't want to see.

the problem is, where to go? new york is amazing and has basically everything i love, however, i just don't know if i can handle it there. its so big and busy and crowded, and expensive. arizona is beautiful and so is the weather, but it lacks the feel of an old city, which i love. the jobs there are plenty, and the pay is great. i wouldnt be poor like in ny.

i have a huge decision to make, and not very much time to do it.

p.s. the site looks really nice (e:paul)!
print add/read comments

Permalink: leaving_new_york.html
Words: 333


Search

Chatter

New Site Wide Comments

joe said to joe
Never send a man to do a grandma's job...

sina said to sina
yes thank you!
Well, since 2018 I am living in France, I have finished my second master of science,...

paul said to sina
Nice to hear from you!! Hope everything is going great....

paul said to twisted
Hello from the east coast! It took me so long to see this, it might as well have arrived in a lette...