06/14/07 03:33- ID#39652
so damn tired
i don't even think i have energy to be sad or anything. is that a plus????
why are men suck fucking idiots??? this guy that i tired to hang out with yesterday, totally ignore me and threw a football around with his friends. i thought we were gonna chill in the park.
another guy came over last night to chill for a bit, and we kissed goodbye. it was sweet, and sad. the other guy most have found out about the kiss or something, because he posted on my facebook wall and said, "be easy, play on player". wtf???? i was unaware that our random hookups were mutually exclusive?
another asshole guy never fucking called to say goodbye. i guess i never really called him either, partly because i deleted his number.
i am done with:
06/12/07 09:17- ID#39625
packing has comsumed my life!
well, im throwing 3/4 of my life's possessions away. i can't deal with having this much stuff. clutter. crap.
i have that constant sick stomach feeling.
i swear that i have an illness that prevents me from being any bit non-dramatic when it comes to goodbyes. i've always been this way. since i was five and had to say goodbye to my cousins after vacation. i would sit at home and mope for a few weeks before feeling like myself again.
i know i don't feel like it now, but thank god i am going to nyc to spend some much needed time with (e:hodown) before i go to az.
my mom suggested that since it is too hard to say goodbye, "say hello."
i have to go do shit now, because i'm starting to cry. i feel like a huge ass.
and i need to get some some before i leave~! ;o0
06/03/07 03:21- ID#39512
i'm seeing ghosts
this is all getting too hard for me
i went for so long with so little drama, and now certain people come back into my life and start messing with my head.
just need to get back to the point of not caring...
05/08/07 11:52- ID#39206
I AM LEAVING BY JUNE 20th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
peace out peaches!
05/02/07 09:36- ID#39125
i can't wait to live in a sunny place and hike all the time. im excited to be around family more, and just start over in general.
it gives me that, anything is possible feeling...
p.s. cannot take fat-ass to az, must get in shape. must be prepared to wear little clothing. i need some adderall, or however you spell it.
04/12/07 11:39- ID#38873
i don't have as much stuff as i thought,
but i have way more clothes than i thought. i hate getting rid of clothing. i have two huge bins full of shoes....might be time to get rid of a few pairs. or not. i have many pairs i've never even worn.
i found a great shade of red nail polish. some cute handbags and clutches i forgot about, and at least 5 tubes of lipgloss! it's like a store @ home!
im going to continue on this journey tomorrow, and who knows, maybe ill be ready to move the hell out!!!!!
02/25/07 05:35- ID#38278
leaving for good
i feel like i have put so much effort into living here, with little gain, if any. im tired of putting out so much to get so little in return. i don't want to have a broken heart anymore. i don't want to feel betrayed by anyone. i will dearly miss the (e:viscos) , and (e:matt) , and (e:terry) of course. other than that, there is nothing here for me. i have a dwindling supply of friendships, and ties to anyone in buffalo, and find myself becoming more and more lost and depressed here each day. i miss my mother, and the good advice that she gives(yet i never take). i miss feeling happy and being out in the sun, and being around family.
get it while you can, because im not going to be around much longer (e:peeps).
p.s. im so sick of working overnights.