my math tutor just cancelled on me because her fiance and son are sick... or did she party too hard???

i am currently in a state of panic because i will fail this exam tomorrow without some serious help. eeeeeek.

she says she can help me tomorrow before the exam, but that is not enough.

i have already called a friend begging for help... i will do pretty much anything, i just need to get at least a c on this exam. screw a's, i just want a c.

NOT a good way to start the week. stressed about things like math....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :(

i am now going to say a prayer.

the stress is never on any specific person, and it is supposed to be a group effort.

well, eff that.


next time i am going to protest to work alone. because at this point, everyone else gets to take credit for my work.


it is also less time consuming to do it alone, rather than having to edit other people's typos and add in missing info, and then complete all of the other parts that are missing.

im pissed and im going to bed.

sometimes we get lame projects in class. so, i made this video, and i had to remake it.


i think it turned out pretty nice. it made my mom cry. she's sappy. but it makes me cry too.


i love kids. especially ones that need help.

no really. i think i might fail this class. intro to oracle sql+. seriously. and what makes it that much worse is that there is no other section of the course that i can switch to- thus i am stuck here. in this class. the professor kinda hs the assholey attitude going on, and plus i just don't like him. ever had a professor you hated? i know you all have, an it makes learning that much harder.

oracle sucks. i hate it. i can't memorize all of thse commands. an now i have to go spend 3 1/2 hrs in this godamn godforsaken classroom, not having any idea what is going on. and i had no time to eat today, because i have been at school all day, and im hungry and tired.

i so want to go home, but i can't miss class, or i will get dropped. because they don't let you miss any class here. not that i could go home anyways, because i have zero clue what is going on, and i need a tutor!

im just going to go talk to this guy tomorrow and see what i should do to make this better. i can't get a bad grade....

this is how ill look in class... thinking.... what will i eat later and what boy can i seduce into becoming my sql+ tutor????

whatever dumbass tells you that art classes are an easy "A" is wrong.

i now have to re-do a million projects for tomorrow, because my professor apparently grades my pieces way tougher, since she has discovered im not a complete idiot.

an fabirc printing, makes me feel like im some 1800 era poor woman working at a fabric mill. i shall have some very pretty pieces though!

off to walk my aching back a million miles, and then to the gym!

i have to make a decision in the next hour of whether or not to resign statistics.

the good news is that it will not take me down to p/t status, and my financial aid will not be affected.

i will just feel like i've failed and let myself down. i've really tried, and it gets me so frustrated, because i just suck at math.

why did i think i had a future in speech? i'm taking (e:tina)'s advice and pursuing design. i think i will be much happier actually taking courses that interest me, and not trying to conform because i know speech would be a good career. some friends have told me that if im good at what i do, the money will follow, and i think they are right.

this doesn't mean i don't want to take and sort of speech classes, because i'm very interested in sign language, but all of the math and science will overwhelm me, as it already has.

lesson to all: don't try and be something your are not.

• and in fashion news, i will be recieving my new monster cutie boots in just a few days!*