and learning this is still a struggle at times...

but you cannot base your happiness on things or people, because you will end up very unhappy.

that said....

i am very happy that i just completed my justice studies course with a 96. i was forced to sit and study and read and write... save the reading, i do not enjoy these activities.

anyway, i received full credit on my paper. it just makes me feel really, really good about myself.

i lost my favorite ring today, in a foolish mishap. anyway, i didn't dwell on it because it is just a thing. it was sooooo pretty though, and a gift to myself. i suppose i learned a lesson... stop losing stuff.

i have a good feeling about this weekend!!!!!! lots of fun planned in tuscon!

this message tho:

Hello
My name is Ali and I'm from Iraq told of age 33 years old love to identify friends Amerreqin good I do not know you search the google site for dating friends Amerreqin or site conversation an American has opened me this site and was seen pictures small personal and Dgzt on your photo has been translated what Ketbtah has inquired of writing Are you desperate frustrating looking for an opportunity to work and I could not understand something of the rest of the speech I am happy to speak with you And Ante very beautiful and graceful

I have clearly done something right.

I just opened this strange message from a person asking if I was desperate for work and then something about my romantic life. Creepers....


And aced the exam. Justice prevails.


And I am going to blo for Thanksgiving. All my favs be there...

i'm on a mission to find any job and come to blo for thanksgiving.

wish me luck.

and a date with my crush. two missions.

for the most part i have had to delete/excommunicate many people in this state from my life. i always thought buffalo was crazy central...

there seems to be a difference between your average buffalo crazy and the crazies here however. the crazies here will go to great lengths to cover up their crazy and appear somewhat normal. these crazies have jobs, boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends as well. they seem to be normal functioning people.... until the floodgates open to their personal lives and you slowly realize something is quite wrong. what appeared to be normal relationships now become something quite different.

how do you tell a once friend, "Sorry but need to be less emotional, crying, needy, angry, stress ridden, and more fun in general to be my friend." ??????

you don't. i can't tell someone that, i don't want to be mean. frankly, i would take the buffalo crazy over this kind of crazy any day. in buffalo, people present themselves as what they are and not some cheesy facade of a character that doesn't really exist.

the job market really sucks... i once had a decent job and now that i'm abut to graduate it looks dim. the good news is that i am willing to go pretty much anywhere at this point. well, warm places really.

ok, now fun times story. there is this total hottie in my service learning class and i'm just so attracted to him. to be clear, this never happens. there is maybe one other person i am currently this attracted to and they are crazy. anyway, he is just so dreamy to me and it goes beyond looks.... he is funny and witty and seems interesting and intelligent. and he also really doesn't like cats which is a huge plus.

and he's super tall which is my number one thing... i just like tall guys.

anyway, i sent him this email last week through school and asked a question about some film he was telling me about and he didn't respond. but then i saw him in class yesterday and he didn't mention it and we walked out of class together and i forgot to mention it. so, i suppose he never read the email?

i think he's too shy to ask me out so i probably need to do something about this... i'm so bad at this and he makes me nervous. it's been forever since i had a crush like this.... years, maybe a decade, maybe more.

it's actually so much of a crush that it has been motivating me to eat healthy and exercise. wowowowowowowowow!!!!!!!