i have so much school work to do... and it's hard to focus. i do however hand in some pretty impressive last minute stuff.

so, this past weekend:

• my sister forgot my birthday for the 3rd year in a row. i was mad but i'm over it because i love her and she was sick. plus my gift is on it's way and it was fun to have her stalking me all day apologizing.

• about 10 other people forgot my birthday, which i am really not happy about. it just hurts when you've reached out to people and it's clear that they soul less users who don't care.

• i went rock climbing and i fell about 12 feet and messed up my foot and possibly my leg... waked on it a bit today and then it kinda blew up and started hurting. walking around campus and sitting in class will be super fun tomorrow.

• a few people remembered my bday who i didn't even know would.... an ex, and my aunt and uncle. i don't have a fb so this is impressive.

• my aunt and uncle sent me an amazon gift card, you can buy a lot for $80 on amazon. i bought batteries, mascara, lipglosses, blush, a dress, lip tint... kinda amazing. it made me feel really special that they did something so nice for me.

i also feel like the most ridiculous person in the world to still be upset that i haven't heard from my father. if you are seeking out a long lost parent, my advice to you is don't do it. it will suck like none other and rip apart your insides. i rote a pretty scathing but classy farewell letter to him which will be mailed off once i procure a stamp. i actually have some stamps with my sister's face on them and i was thinking i could use those as a sort of ironic twist but i don't think she'd appreciate that.

asu and iteach az ha decided to refer to our student teaching as a "residency". so, it's like we are md's or something without the paycheck or any paycheck. i may end up on the streets begging for food/money.

i realized i finally have thanksgiving off, first time in three years. im going to cook for a bunch of people and i'm hoping to feel lots of family love that day. i need it badly.

i miss my brother and sister so much, and i know i say that all the time but i'll keep saying it until i see them next.

my little cousin is turning 21 in a few weeks, and i have a wedding to go to and it should be a good time. i'm more concerned with what my look will be, rather than the whole marriage thing because i barely know the people.

why can't i have my own reality show? i'm dramatic and i like glamour...

see... an example of both. a glamour shot. and then drama shot- from white water rafting in co which i kinda despised the water was cold and you couldn't carry makeup or lipgloss. i'm more into sailboats and pontoon boats or jet skiing.

So in love with this. Welcome to the world little Kyla, if you are anything as amazing as princess Zooey I am the luckiest aunt in the world.

how is it than we start off as such innocent precious beings and somewhere along the line we end so differently?

as adults, we make choices which shape up as and we become who we are.

i swear no matter how down i am, i will never be the kind of person that is a liar, or a cheater, or someone who constantly lets other down.

it's my birthday this weekend, and i don't even want to celebrate. i'll likely do lots of homework because it's productive and when i'm done with it, i always feel a sense of relief and pride.

i am going to be an advocate for telling the truth. i promise to teach my students to tell the truth, and what it means to be honest.

i can't wait to be a teacher. i think it's going to be amazing, positive, and life-altering.

me at the j. cole show a few weeks ago.... i regret to say his live show was a big let down. ironically, it goes with the general theme of my life lately so i suppose it should have been expected.



annndm my friend or not really friend because she disappears. she has these manolos from the first satc movie. they are the ones carrie goes back to the fancy apartment for and big is there and they reunite... her husband bought them for her. he paid around 1,000- that's love people. anyway the last time i saw her she said i could borrow them and i didn't big mistake they could be mine now since she disappeared. they were kinda beat up, and if i had those shoes i would have treated them right... who abuses designer items?! not me, well not that i have any, but i wouldn't if i did.



this rant is ova. farewell.

ps. now i have two precious nieces to spoil. princess zooey and bebe kyla. swoon....

when i go far away next year i'll really miss this lady...

we had a little happy hour a few weeks ago with some wine and a cheese board... very enjoyable.

she's just the cutest little lady ever and my best friend, she never lets me down.

and to the creepers who send me messages, they aren't wanted. thanks.

i just found out this week that i have student teaching everyday for two semesters, as opposed to one. this is freaking me out because it means i will be working what is a full time job for free and i'm not sure what kinda of job if any i'll be able to get.

student teaching is tons of work and pretty much everyone has advised me against work. let the search for a rich boyfriend begin.... jk. i guess i have to go back to customer service type jobs like serving. i loathe this. i only like going to restaurants and being served, not serving others. i don't like working around food unless i'm cooking at home and it makes me upset that i have to give up my education related job that i love.

i suppose it will be worth because in one year, the world is my oyster and i plan on moving to nyc or abroad. it will break my poor mother's heart but i feel like i've experienced az and my time here has been swell but the excitement and vanity has worn off and left only von dutch type douches and dames which i have zero interest in. also, it's highly conservative and thus little money is allotted for education and the incentives and pay for teachers here is dismal at best. it makes me so angry to see so many cuts when education is what fuels the next generation.

so, as my family is all in buffalo together awaiting the arrival of the newest and brightest baby girl i shall spend the week with school. i magically picked up tons of hours at work and will be buying a plane ticket to come out right after xmas. i guess i should save for some warm clothes???? or just plan on wearing hoodies everyday. hehe!!!! who wants to go skiing? and iceskating? and sledding??? i want to make it a winter sports vacation of sorts with ribbons for the best in show.

thanks for the kind words peeps about the whole father thing... i am doing much better. i decided i am going to write a letter and close that chapter.

off to work. ;O)