Gosh its nuts being back here. Running into all my friends again one actually cried!!! Working and now about to have my first glass of wine, and tear the night up!!! I'm saving the bacon vodka til morning when in gonna need a bloody mary. I forget how slow everyone moves here,i guess I should take a page out of their book and relax and take an easy pace. See too all soon I love you Buffalo.

I think I'm the mistress of an emotional affair. I might be in trouble,i got to have lunch with him today. I brought a friend and his bf popped over to say hi. Kinda akward. Im omw to nola now, here I come mardi gras.....

Um....

You ever have one of those days where all you want tIo do is sing and dance? I mean I like doing it everyday, but today more than ever I feel like expressing myself in song. I think I need a karaoke machine, but knowing me it will be me at night all myself sitting on the couch drunk singing. Haha not very attractive ;). These last couple days I have been filled with so many emotions.excitement, sadness, anger, very overwhelmed and uncertainty. Things to sing about for sure, and I think I just might tonight. Even if it means I'm gonna be in Buffalo by myself tonight singing my heart out. One song on specific is "heartless" by Kris Allen another is "Higher" by Gloria Estefan. Things that make you go hmmmm?

It's so crazy how life can change in only a few minutes. My friend just called me named Scott. Scott is a straight white boy who I met in new orleans and had a blast with. He also came to Chicago and lived with me for a month and then came back right after new years and stayed with me another week. Just a little background ;) I already knew he was going to be working at the same place I am for mardi gras, he just asked me to go to Santa Monica with him after mardi gras to work because that's where he's from, and we could go to Hawaii after and wurk at the stores there. I'm thinking about doing it. I called my mother to ask her what she thought about it and she told me to go for it. I'm feeling conflicted at the moment because right now because as I'm literally on my way back home to try and settle in, there is already and opportunity to move somewhere else. Damn my head is spinning I kinda can't believe this is happening. So now I need to make a decision before I finish my previous one. On one hand I want to be here for my mother and be around my good friends and family. On the other hand things like this don't come everyday. He and I would be driving in his car from Denver to California; OMG!!! My stomach if flipping thinking about it. Arrrgggg!!!!! What to do?!?! Is this really happening? This is a very hard decision.