My silly ass thought just because it was in the 50s in chicago a couple days spring was coming. Then I wake up today and BAM snow came back to piss me off. I don't like waking up grumpy but I did. Only a few says left here then back to BUFFALO!!!!! Then New Orleans aged its gonna be in the 70s and 60s for two weeks!!!! Two weeks!!! (total recall voice). Any body want anything from the dutty south? I am gonna bring bacon vodka....

somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff not my poems or a dance i gave up in the street but somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff like a kleptomaniac workin hard & forgettin while stealin this is mine/this aint yr stuff/now why don’t you put me back & let me hang out in my own self somebody almost walked off wit alla my stuff & didn’t care enuf to send a note home sayin i was late for my solo conversation or two sizes to small for my own tacky skirts what can anybody do wit somethin of no value ona open market/ did you getta dime for my things/hey man/ where are you goin wid alla my stuff/ to ohh & ahh abt/ daddy/ i gotta mainline number from my own shit/ now wontcha put me back/ & let me play this duet/ wit silver ring in my nose/ honest to god/ somebody almost run off wit alla my stuff/ & i didn't bring anythin but the kick & sway of it the perfect ass for my man & none of it is theirs this is mine/ ntozake ‘her own things’/ that’s my name now give me my stuff/ i see ya hidin my laugh/ & how is it wif my legs open sometimes/ to give me some sunlight/ & there goes my love my toes my chewed up finger nails/ niggah/ wif the curls in yr hair/mr. louisiana hot link/ i want my stuff back/my rhytums & my voice/ open my mouth/ & let me talk ya outta/ throwin my shit in the sewar/ this is some delicate leg & whimsical kiss/ i gotta have to give to my choice/without you runnin off wit alla my shit/now you can't have me less i give me away/ & i wazdoin all that/ til ya run off on a good thing/ who is this you left me wit/ some simple bitch widda bad attitude/ i wants my things/i want my arm wit the hot iron scar/ & my leg wit the flea bite/ i want my calloused feet & quik language backin my mouth/ fried plantains/ pineapple pear juice/ sun-ra & joseph & jules/ i want my own things/ how i lived them/& give me my memories/ how i waz when i waz there/you can't have them or do nothin wit them/ stealin my shit from me/ don't make it yrs/ makes it stolen/somebody almost run off wit alla my stuff/ & i waz standin there/ lookin at myself/ the whole time & it waznt a spirit took my stuff/ waz a man whose ego walked round like Rodan’s shadow/ waz a man fastern my innocence/ waz a lover/ i made too much room for/ almost run off wit alla my stuff/& i didn't know i’d give it up so quik/ & the one runnin wit it/don’t know he got it/ & i’m shoutin this is mine/ & he don't know he got it/ my stuff is the anonymous ripped off treasure of the year/ did you know somebody almost got away wit me/me in a plastic bag under their arm/ me danglin on a string of personal carelessness/ i’m spattered wit mud & city rain/ & no i didn't get a chance to take a douche/hey man/ this is not your perogative/ i gotta have me in my pocket/ to get round like a good woman shd/ & make the poemin the pot or the chicken in the dance/ what i got to do/i gotta get my stuff to do it to/why don't ya find yr own things/ & leave this package of me for my destiny/ what ya got to get from me/i’ll give it to ya/ yeh/ i’ll give it to ya/round 5:00 in the winter/ when the sky is blue-red/& Dew City is gettin pressed/ if it’s really my stuff/ya gotta give it to me/ if ya really want it/ i’m the only one/ can handle it -ntozake shange

I'm trying to hang out with my mother these last few hours and all she can talk about is going out getting a beer. I wish I could fill that void for her and it breaks my heart because apparently I can't. I, mean given everything that's happened any normal adult would want a drink, but its such s slippery slope and its never good to drink when youre upset, it just worsens the mood you are in and it just makes you want more. She asked me twice to get her beer, and I told her no. although I never had to tell my mother no it sucks big time. I can't condone that, plus the rest of my family would be really upset with me. I said one day she and I can have a beer together but not now, I think it's too soon and the risk is too great. I kinda felt my self tearing up a bit when she left, I'm sitting here hoping she dosent try and do something to get it. And feel that it would ber my fault if she gets in trouble trying to grab one. I know this is a really personal entry and a lot of you don't know about my mommy issues, but there you have it. If I didn't write it out some where I would just break down and cry. So thanks for reading this guys I love you long time, and I just hope for the best. See you all soon. P.s. I'm almost at 200 entries after how many years now? Slacker...... :p

I'm having way too much fun with this. So I grab my crotch and I say "Hee Hee"!!!

I got my android avatar. He has my widows peak and everything lol. Oh goodness these next couple weeks are going to be nuts!!!! I'm going to be in three cities in two weeks, kinda feel life I'm on tour hahaha. Its going to be Chicago, then back to buffalo again to move my shtuff and then flying down to new orleans to wurk for mardi gras. Mardi gras is over in the 8th of March then I'm back to buffalo for good. First thing I'm gonna do when I'm back is shop my ass off smoke a fatty and play video games for a day straight. See you all soon love you Buffalo!!!