I popped into the grocery store tonight and saw these cookies. They made me laugh. I find humor in the most simple things I guess.



On to my dream....

I was on a business trip of some kind with (e:imk2) and some other girl I don't know. We were in Italy. When we arrived at our 'hotel' we realized our rooms were actually tents pitched on the beach. I thought it was cool, the other two didn't agree.

We dropped off our things, freshened up, and decided to head out for dinner. On the way we stopped into the hotel gift shop; a large hut on the beach. However instead of the usual, the place was full of college graduation gear. Gowns, hats, medallions, diplomas, cords, you name it. (e:imk2) bought the type of gown traditionally worn when you earn a doctorate. I jokingly asked her if she was going back to school and preparing early. She said she was.

We climbed a fire escape ladder to the roof top of a nearby building. The roofing looked like traditional red tiles used in Italy, only they were actually made of dark chocolate. Maybe Willi Wonka owned that house?

Anyway, (e:imk2) asked me to guess what she was going to study. I had no idea really, so I said Anthropology. She jumped up in excitement and said, "No! Paranormal Science!". Then my darn alarm went off. Seriously weird dream.

I'm passionate about my work. I give it my all and I really think about situations before I act on them. I do my very best to keep my team motivated but also challenge them to grow. Many, many times over the last year and a half I have felt like a mean ogre.

While other people seemed more intent on having people 'like' them, I believed I would earn their trust and respect through leading by example. I cried so many times wondering if the tides would ever turn, or my kids just wanted me to be lax like everyone else.

Since the start of this semester I think the tide has finally turned! 'Problem children' have suddenly been responsive to my requests for conduct hearings, some residents are stopping by to tell me good things, not just list their problems, and today TWO people stopped by my office to give me something.

From one I got a hand carved wooden crocodile from Botswana, while she told me how much she appreciated that I stayed in contact with her while she was having a hard time and how much I helped her get back into school. The other got me this amazing painting from Tanzania, done on piece of burlap by a 10 year old! Just to say thanks for being her supervisor.

I am blown away. It seems in these moments when I really doubt myself I am given not just a ray of sunshine, but a blazing sun to blot out all the gray. It is the greatest motivator to continue doing what I'm doing and push through all these obstacles, because I can finally see I AM making a difference in these kids' lives. I love it!

On another note, thank you so much peeps for your very kind words on the previous post - I'm all smiles :)

I was thinking about it last night. My happiness. The fact that I am truly happy for the first time in a very loooooong time. I can only describe it as a constant giddy sensation as if I've just started dropping down the big hill on a roller coaster. Butterflies in my stomach, anticipation of the thrill ahead.....this is contentment.

Sometimes it makes me cry I'm so happy. I love when this happens because I feel so alive. SO ALIVE! Now I have to learn a new vocabulary just so I can adequately describe my feelings!



On a side note. If you have any special talents that you would like to contribute to a festivity (meaning our US reception) we'll be looking for volunteers in the near future :) (e:Lilho), you are hereby appointed "Official hair and make-up artist"!

It's all I can think about. All night, all day...I have an unstoppable hunger for popcorn! I think I need to duck out of work early to go buy some. I need it!

These are some of my regular frustrations with work.

• Working very hard to plan something in advance, getting it all down the the tiniest detail, then someone walking in and saying, "Oh yah, we're scrapping that".

• Working very hard to plan an event which you know you cannot attend, but everyone insisted it happens on that day. So you do it, and you do it very well. Every detail is taken care of, all they have to do on the day is have fun. But then without your presence apparently everyone forgets their very simple job and it becomes a huge mess. They do not take responsibility for it, they blame it all on you by saying, "Not my problem, I didn't plan it". Sigh.

• Having endless meetings about something, getting everyone in agreement about the actions your going to take in a large scale event. 2 months later someone walks in and says you did it all wrong and all the work you've already done has to be taken back, making you look like a complete tool.

• Being told something is a crisis, emergency, world is going to end situation - busting your ass to deal with it, only to find out it didn't really matter at all.

• Being on duty every time there is a holiday or birthday celebration resulting in me missing all the fun.

• Being told you're allowed to do things your way, then when you do them your way, being told you should do it their way, making you do double the work.

• People being incredibly ambiguous with information you really need in order to move forward on a project.

• Being told you can't get any programs or products to make your life SO much easier because you'll be moving into a new building in 2 years - 3 years ago - of which the building hasn't even broken ground yet - of which we'll not move into for at least 2 more years.

Sigh. Off to get passport pages added. I filled mine up in 5 years!