But I think this is going to be a little longer and/or more personal so at some level I would like to have it easily accessible to me so I could read it at some point for my own personal use.
Yea I hear you with being an isolated outsider. I had my one married w/kid friend's wife attempt to set me up with anyone she worked with just so we could "go out as 2 couples." For a while I was seeing their co-worker, but I broke it off for my own reasons after I realized that she may have been trying to really emulate their relationship, if you know what I mean.
At times I delude myself into thinking that I should have stayed married. This comes from the cold hard fact that my living situation and just how I am personality wise in this dating pool of WNY just dooms me to being alone. Yea I have realized that I could just play the game and "find someone" to put up with my bullshit, but in the end I just realize that I would just be using them as a prop for other people to appear that I'm doing the "family" thing or even worse just a warm body for sex. Plus when I deal with people who have money problems I realize what a "cinder block around your neck" it can be if you're with or even married to someone that brings the trouble with the business of living problems to your life. Then I realize how being alone isn't so bad after all.
Would I love to be with someone that I am attracted to and can love? Of course I would as it is one of our basic needs of being human. It's just that for the most part I have just thrown in the towel, or at least for as long as I live in WNY. With a decade of dealing with the demographics and having my chances diminish with every year I get older, I just have had it with doing things via "going through the motions of the mating dance." Heck with Feb 14th coming around I even am planning on getting out of Dodge that weekend. Seriously I don't even want to be around here when love is in the air. For me I would rather be lonely loser somewhere else where no one knows me ;-)
Well on V-day I'll luckily be at the Bandits game so that is good. Not sure if I will do anything after that. I wish there was some awesome type of kinda Horror movie other then that one Called Valentine or what ever that I could watch. Where ever you are on that day I hope you have a good time. I can't really speak on the dating scene. What I will say is that I think there are a lot of great Ladies in Buffalo. But just because some one is great or there are aspects you like about them doesn't mean dating them would work. For example lets say I meet someone who liked The Sabres, that would be great but that alone wouldn't be enough, and going to a game as a Date would be very costly very quickly. I do agree with you that there is a part of everyone who wants to be with someone and to be happy. I also agree that it is better to be alone and happy then with someone who isn't good for you. That being said some people have to be with someone and put up with a lot of bad shit that destroys them because it is still less painful then being alone or they love that person or they think they do.
Geez, That makes three of us.