I had a very good 2008 and to be honest there is a part of me that is afraid that this year won't stand up to last year. I don't know what motivates women, but for guys the negative is more of a motivator that positive reassurance. I guess it comes down to sports and the "I'll show your ass" mentality that we learn early on in life when the other team runs smack or someone criticizes you. Just look at the NFL playoffs the top 4 top awarded people are out golfing & the two most badgered are playing next weekend. Heck I think of the bowl games only UB didn't cover the spread as an underdog or win outright.
Anyway I have a ton of work to do this year. As I was looking back the only things that would have made a great year into a stellar year would have been me getting married &/or having a kid.
Here is a list of things to do:
1. Get mentally healthy
2. Go to a chiropractor
3. Start being more assertive & take more risks in social situations
4. Go tanning at least once a week to keep my current color going.
5. Work some OT to continue building savings
6. Lose 10 pounds to get back to my "ideal" weight
7. Enter into a healthy relationship some some woman
Simple enough right? Well the OT is not guaranteed, I know you can't bank on something that is out of your control, but from the indication I got today, we may be in for a repeat of last year since I didn't get settled yet back into the job today when the question was popped!
Vincent's Journal
My Podcast Link
01/05/2009 22:01 #47294
New Years Res & the planCategory: life
01/02/2009 18:05 #47256
Random NYE PicsCategory: photos
heidi - 01/04/09 20:19
Retarded? you look glamorous!!!
Retarded? you look glamorous!!!
imk2 - 01/03/09 08:28
god, why do i look so retarded in every single picture that was taken that night?
god, why do i look so retarded in every single picture that was taken that night?
metalpeter - 01/02/09 20:13
interesting pictures I didn't even see you take any.
interesting pictures I didn't even see you take any.
01/02/2009 00:51 #47245
NYECategory: reflections
What a really good time last night. Too bad that I had no idea that my friend Steve just would be blown away by the level of how (e:strip) parties. Although I failed in providing him a good description of what we were going to be doing along with the type of friends that he was going to encounter of mine it was great to see his surprise after he felt out the place. Initially when we pulled up to the 24 he thought that he was going to have a boring night at a stuffy, stuck up and listless group of professional people. This impression of his was due to the "size" of the mansion & me bringing a shrimp plate. Boy, was his initial "size up" off the night WAY OFF...
The party was a good time and pretty wild, but I just had no clue that there are still people that get even more crazier than we do
Reading (e:jenks) post about not having the night go so well for her it made me think of how many bad NYE's I've had in the past. The one's that stick out were the one's that I had to work or go in early in the am the next day. Where at that point in time my life was just stagnant and emotionally I felt the same way as in this video.
The party was a good time and pretty wild, but I just had no clue that there are still people that get even more crazier than we do
Reading (e:jenks) post about not having the night go so well for her it made me think of how many bad NYE's I've had in the past. The one's that stick out were the one's that I had to work or go in early in the am the next day. Where at that point in time my life was just stagnant and emotionally I felt the same way as in this video.
paul - 01/02/09 10:52
I was wondering who brought the shrimp plate. The cocktail sauce was so yummy.
I was wondering who brought the shrimp plate. The cocktail sauce was so yummy.
12/30/2008 10:25 #47218
Vegas VidsCategory: music
Yea, these aren't all that great, but I did take them during my weekend in Vegas earlier this month. So here's a couple of song's from Oasis when I saw them @ the Pearl in the Palms.
Wonderwall
Morning Glory
Wonderwall
Morning Glory
tinypliny - 12/31/08 13:26
I like wonderwall. :)
I like wonderwall. :)
12/23/2008 19:28 #47158
The Crux of my biggest problemCategory: perspective
Was stumbled upon by me duirng this "forced vacation" as (e:terry) calls it. Since I'm not working I have a lot of time on my hands to do things I enjoy like watch CNBC and play the financial markets. Well I ended up making a wrong move come Fed time last week & was down $2700 dollars. Well I held my position and when the opportunkity came to get even I bailed, even though iif I had held on I would have been making a few bucks over th last couple of days. So in all I just basically lost some commision and my great 2008 is sitll intact. Now fast forward to me at a happy hour B.Sing with some descent looking attractive Drug Sales Rep at a happy hour in a bar. I go thorugh the motions and don't even have any expectations, but deep down inside if it wasn't for the social lubricant, I would have just kept staring at my phone reading (e:strip) posts without even just being social and making an effort.
It just got me thinking about how my mind works , how screwed up I am and the task that lies ahead for me to correct it and get myself healthy. If speaking to a friend last week I realized that the prospect of losing $2700 did not scare me as much as say "attempting to start a relationship." Deep down inside I may have knows subconsciously that the market would turn and the "Fed Frenzie" would not last as reality of how much the economy sucks will bring everything back down to earth. So yea I can drop that kind of money and it would bother me as much as say going out to bars and trying to pick someone up to get laid. Which is a task that most people perform with no shame as the transaction happends every day everywhere in the world. Yea, I would like to get to the point where I MARRY the women of my dreams, but i have to start somehwere & I'm getting way too freaking old to have this Social Anxiety keep me living in a life of fear.
So yea, (e:Vincent) would rather lose money on Wall St or in a Casino than face the prospect of rejection by a Woman that he iis attracted to.
I should post about this later, but I just had to get this out in it's basic form, since this is somehting that must be addressed and fast.
It just got me thinking about how my mind works , how screwed up I am and the task that lies ahead for me to correct it and get myself healthy. If speaking to a friend last week I realized that the prospect of losing $2700 did not scare me as much as say "attempting to start a relationship." Deep down inside I may have knows subconsciously that the market would turn and the "Fed Frenzie" would not last as reality of how much the economy sucks will bring everything back down to earth. So yea I can drop that kind of money and it would bother me as much as say going out to bars and trying to pick someone up to get laid. Which is a task that most people perform with no shame as the transaction happends every day everywhere in the world. Yea, I would like to get to the point where I MARRY the women of my dreams, but i have to start somehwere & I'm getting way too freaking old to have this Social Anxiety keep me living in a life of fear.
So yea, (e:Vincent) would rather lose money on Wall St or in a Casino than face the prospect of rejection by a Woman that he iis attracted to.
I should post about this later, but I just had to get this out in it's basic form, since this is somehting that must be addressed and fast.
ladycroft - 12/24/08 04:16
ditto - no one particularly enjoys 'rejection'
ditto - bars are not necessarily the way to go in meeting someone. maybe you could try yoga with mrmike...never know :)
ditto - you're not messed up!
ditto - no one particularly enjoys 'rejection'
ditto - bars are not necessarily the way to go in meeting someone. maybe you could try yoga with mrmike...never know :)
ditto - you're not messed up!
tinypliny - 12/23/08 23:02
Honestly, I am not sure why people still think a bar is a good place to meet people. This may sound rather harsh and somewhat insensitive, but you are better off without the attentions of people wasted at a bar.
Of course, I am not even remotely any kind of expert, but I think it time you rethink your approach and ditch the bars for better hangouts... dance classes? language classes? biking clubs? hiking groups? book clubs? finance discussion/debate groups?
I think it would be safe to make the assumption that people who make the attempt to expand their skills and broaden their experience of the depth of culture that this world has to offer are consistently better than people who would rather kill their brain cells drinking and getting wasted at a bar. Life is too short to waste on such totally hopeless cases.
Look at it this way (and it is probably true). Maybe all this wanton self-destroying bar hopping actually disgusts you deep within and maybe this disqust is bubbling to the surface when you hesitate to get to know these random disgraces to intelligence. Trust your gut instincts. They are often very much hard-wired to your well-being.
Honestly, I am not sure why people still think a bar is a good place to meet people. This may sound rather harsh and somewhat insensitive, but you are better off without the attentions of people wasted at a bar.
Of course, I am not even remotely any kind of expert, but I think it time you rethink your approach and ditch the bars for better hangouts... dance classes? language classes? biking clubs? hiking groups? book clubs? finance discussion/debate groups?
I think it would be safe to make the assumption that people who make the attempt to expand their skills and broaden their experience of the depth of culture that this world has to offer are consistently better than people who would rather kill their brain cells drinking and getting wasted at a bar. Life is too short to waste on such totally hopeless cases.
Look at it this way (and it is probably true). Maybe all this wanton self-destroying bar hopping actually disgusts you deep within and maybe this disqust is bubbling to the surface when you hesitate to get to know these random disgraces to intelligence. Trust your gut instincts. They are often very much hard-wired to your well-being.
drew - 12/23/08 22:39
I admire you for talking about it. This anxiety is beatable. The "rules" will help. Also thinking win-win. (i.e. don't think, "I got shut down," think "I learned one more way not to pick up a girl--and didn't lose a thing"
It might be fun to intentionally throw a couple encounters, just to get it out of your system and see that it isn't so bad, all while you are in control. If you want, I can go out and get shut down with you (I just have to make sure I'm not successful--wife and all)
Seriously, there is better help out there than me. It sounds like you might be thinking about talking to a professional. Go for it--you've got nothing to lose.
I admire you for talking about it. This anxiety is beatable. The "rules" will help. Also thinking win-win. (i.e. don't think, "I got shut down," think "I learned one more way not to pick up a girl--and didn't lose a thing"
It might be fun to intentionally throw a couple encounters, just to get it out of your system and see that it isn't so bad, all while you are in control. If you want, I can go out and get shut down with you (I just have to make sure I'm not successful--wife and all)
Seriously, there is better help out there than me. It sounds like you might be thinking about talking to a professional. Go for it--you've got nothing to lose.
jenks - 12/23/08 21:18
I dunno, I don't think you're alone. A hit to the wallet doesn't HURT the way a hit to the ego does.
I have just realized one of my problems- along the same lines. I have realized that I would rather be hurt, than hurt someone. That I will stick with a shitty situation, but I'm too much of a wuss to do what it takes to get out of it.
I dunno, I don't think you're alone. A hit to the wallet doesn't HURT the way a hit to the ego does.
I have just realized one of my problems- along the same lines. I have realized that I would rather be hurt, than hurt someone. That I will stick with a shitty situation, but I'm too much of a wuss to do what it takes to get out of it.
james - 12/23/08 21:16
I have horrible social anxiety. The only way I could get into a bar and socialize is with half a bottle of gin in me. Having moved to new locations by myself several times, I know just how horrible it is to walk into a joint alone and try to cobble together a social life from a half-melted Mr.Potatohead of parts.
I'm still not good at facing a room full of strangers while alone, but practice helps. If I know I will just sit at the bar and fiddle with my phone, I leave my phone at home. I make little rules for myself. Like, if I make eye contact with someone twice then I have to go up and talk to them. It is hard, hard work but it gets easier.
I have horrible social anxiety. The only way I could get into a bar and socialize is with half a bottle of gin in me. Having moved to new locations by myself several times, I know just how horrible it is to walk into a joint alone and try to cobble together a social life from a half-melted Mr.Potatohead of parts.
I'm still not good at facing a room full of strangers while alone, but practice helps. If I know I will just sit at the bar and fiddle with my phone, I leave my phone at home. I make little rules for myself. Like, if I make eye contact with someone twice then I have to go up and talk to them. It is hard, hard work but it gets easier.
metalpeter - 12/23/08 20:26
I don't think that is what I have, I think I'm just shy or kinda a loner myself, but I'm no expert. I don't know what the side effects are or how or if it really works, but there is at least one drug (and I don't mean weed) that is just for that. I don't know the name of it, and I don't know if taking it is really a good idea. But it is something to consider. I don't know if there is a difference between people who are that way naturelly and people who become that way from things in the past that would cause that change. I now get what you mean about the money, you lost it in value.
I don't think that is what I have, I think I'm just shy or kinda a loner myself, but I'm no expert. I don't know what the side effects are or how or if it really works, but there is at least one drug (and I don't mean weed) that is just for that. I don't know the name of it, and I don't know if taking it is really a good idea. But it is something to consider. I don't know if there is a difference between people who are that way naturelly and people who become that way from things in the past that would cause that change. I now get what you mean about the money, you lost it in value.
vincent - 12/23/08 20:03
Peter,
Yea, I hear you and appreciate your comment.
Here's the thing. When putting myself out there scares to get a simple phone number is more of a challenge than dropping $2700 at one point ( I didn't lose that money it was only a paper loss at the time) I have problems as a Male human being. I don't know what triggered it but lately for me Social Anxiety has been just strangling my life as of late.
My life is actually pretty good and after having a year like I have I am extremely grateful for what I have. It just sucks that for whatever reason I am just too guarded to present that to the world where I could possibly even enhance it more.
So in the end some "cure" is what I want for X-Mas this year for myself.
Peter,
Yea, I hear you and appreciate your comment.
Here's the thing. When putting myself out there scares to get a simple phone number is more of a challenge than dropping $2700 at one point ( I didn't lose that money it was only a paper loss at the time) I have problems as a Male human being. I don't know what triggered it but lately for me Social Anxiety has been just strangling my life as of late.
My life is actually pretty good and after having a year like I have I am extremely grateful for what I have. It just sucks that for whatever reason I am just too guarded to present that to the world where I could possibly even enhance it more.
So in the end some "cure" is what I want for X-Mas this year for myself.
metalpeter - 12/23/08 19:49
I feel as though I should say something but not sure what. To say I'm more messed up then you doesn't sound right. To say I wish I had extra cash to play with stocks doesn't sound right. Hey I wish I had the extra cash to go over to Canada, but I don't. I have no advice to give. I have heard the thing to do is just to make your self talk to 5-10 girls in a bar and see what happens and maybe see if any of them have potential. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but If I did then I would use it myself and I might not have time to read (e:strip). I wish you luck, oh and if I lost that much cash I think I would shit my pants.
I feel as though I should say something but not sure what. To say I'm more messed up then you doesn't sound right. To say I wish I had extra cash to play with stocks doesn't sound right. Hey I wish I had the extra cash to go over to Canada, but I don't. I have no advice to give. I have heard the thing to do is just to make your self talk to 5-10 girls in a bar and see what happens and maybe see if any of them have potential. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but If I did then I would use it myself and I might not have time to read (e:strip). I wish you luck, oh and if I lost that much cash I think I would shit my pants.
Well I guess there was something pretty good at the party that I missed. If you drop a few pounds and get a tan (you don't want to much that sun can cause some nasty problems you don't want) Then you will look better to yourself and that can be a boost confidence wise, I'm not saying you aren't. But it could make you feel better and hotter and make you be more socially out there.
I like all your list except the tanning part- skin cancer is not worth it. And my two cents on the woman/social front you seem to be doing ok, at least from what I saw at the party. But that's just me :)