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Vincent's Journal

vincent
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12/23/2008 19:28 #47158

The Crux of my biggest problem
Category: perspective
Was stumbled upon by me duirng this "forced vacation" as (e:terry) calls it. Since I'm not working I have a lot of time on my hands to do things I enjoy like watch CNBC and play the financial markets. Well I ended up making a wrong move come Fed time last week & was down $2700 dollars. Well I held my position and when the opportunkity came to get even I bailed, even though iif I had held on I would have been making a few bucks over th last couple of days. So in all I just basically lost some commision and my great 2008 is sitll intact. Now fast forward to me at a happy hour B.Sing with some descent looking attractive Drug Sales Rep at a happy hour in a bar. I go thorugh the motions and don't even have any expectations, but deep down inside if it wasn't for the social lubricant, I would have just kept staring at my phone reading (e:strip) posts without even just being social and making an effort.

It just got me thinking about how my mind works , how screwed up I am and the task that lies ahead for me to correct it and get myself healthy. If speaking to a friend last week I realized that the prospect of losing $2700 did not scare me as much as say "attempting to start a relationship." Deep down inside I may have knows subconsciously that the market would turn and the "Fed Frenzie" would not last as reality of how much the economy sucks will bring everything back down to earth. So yea I can drop that kind of money and it would bother me as much as say going out to bars and trying to pick someone up to get laid. Which is a task that most people perform with no shame as the transaction happends every day everywhere in the world. Yea, I would like to get to the point where I MARRY the women of my dreams, but i have to start somehwere & I'm getting way too freaking old to have this Social Anxiety keep me living in a life of fear.

So yea, (e:Vincent) would rather lose money on Wall St or in a Casino than face the prospect of rejection by a Woman that he iis attracted to.

I should post about this later, but I just had to get this out in it's basic form, since this is somehting that must be addressed and fast.
ladycroft - 12/24/08 04:16
ditto - no one particularly enjoys 'rejection'
ditto - bars are not necessarily the way to go in meeting someone. maybe you could try yoga with mrmike...never know :)
ditto - you're not messed up!
tinypliny - 12/23/08 23:02
Honestly, I am not sure why people still think a bar is a good place to meet people. This may sound rather harsh and somewhat insensitive, but you are better off without the attentions of people wasted at a bar.

Of course, I am not even remotely any kind of expert, but I think it time you rethink your approach and ditch the bars for better hangouts... dance classes? language classes? biking clubs? hiking groups? book clubs? finance discussion/debate groups?

I think it would be safe to make the assumption that people who make the attempt to expand their skills and broaden their experience of the depth of culture that this world has to offer are consistently better than people who would rather kill their brain cells drinking and getting wasted at a bar. Life is too short to waste on such totally hopeless cases.

Look at it this way (and it is probably true). Maybe all this wanton self-destroying bar hopping actually disgusts you deep within and maybe this disqust is bubbling to the surface when you hesitate to get to know these random disgraces to intelligence. Trust your gut instincts. They are often very much hard-wired to your well-being.
drew - 12/23/08 22:39
I admire you for talking about it. This anxiety is beatable. The "rules" will help. Also thinking win-win. (i.e. don't think, "I got shut down," think "I learned one more way not to pick up a girl--and didn't lose a thing"

It might be fun to intentionally throw a couple encounters, just to get it out of your system and see that it isn't so bad, all while you are in control. If you want, I can go out and get shut down with you (I just have to make sure I'm not successful--wife and all)

Seriously, there is better help out there than me. It sounds like you might be thinking about talking to a professional. Go for it--you've got nothing to lose.
jenks - 12/23/08 21:18
I dunno, I don't think you're alone. A hit to the wallet doesn't HURT the way a hit to the ego does.

I have just realized one of my problems- along the same lines. I have realized that I would rather be hurt, than hurt someone. That I will stick with a shitty situation, but I'm too much of a wuss to do what it takes to get out of it.
james - 12/23/08 21:16
I have horrible social anxiety. The only way I could get into a bar and socialize is with half a bottle of gin in me. Having moved to new locations by myself several times, I know just how horrible it is to walk into a joint alone and try to cobble together a social life from a half-melted Mr.Potatohead of parts.

I'm still not good at facing a room full of strangers while alone, but practice helps. If I know I will just sit at the bar and fiddle with my phone, I leave my phone at home. I make little rules for myself. Like, if I make eye contact with someone twice then I have to go up and talk to them. It is hard, hard work but it gets easier.
metalpeter - 12/23/08 20:26
I don't think that is what I have, I think I'm just shy or kinda a loner myself, but I'm no expert. I don't know what the side effects are or how or if it really works, but there is at least one drug (and I don't mean weed) that is just for that. I don't know the name of it, and I don't know if taking it is really a good idea. But it is something to consider. I don't know if there is a difference between people who are that way naturelly and people who become that way from things in the past that would cause that change. I now get what you mean about the money, you lost it in value.
vincent - 12/23/08 20:03
Peter,

Yea, I hear you and appreciate your comment.



Here's the thing. When putting myself out there scares to get a simple phone number is more of a challenge than dropping $2700 at one point ( I didn't lose that money it was only a paper loss at the time) I have problems as a Male human being. I don't know what triggered it but lately for me Social Anxiety has been just strangling my life as of late.



My life is actually pretty good and after having a year like I have I am extremely grateful for what I have. It just sucks that for whatever reason I am just too guarded to present that to the world where I could possibly even enhance it more.



So in the end some "cure" is what I want for X-Mas this year for myself.
metalpeter - 12/23/08 19:49
I feel as though I should say something but not sure what. To say I'm more messed up then you doesn't sound right. To say I wish I had extra cash to play with stocks doesn't sound right. Hey I wish I had the extra cash to go over to Canada, but I don't. I have no advice to give. I have heard the thing to do is just to make your self talk to 5-10 girls in a bar and see what happens and maybe see if any of them have potential. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but If I did then I would use it myself and I might not have time to read (e:strip). I wish you luck, oh and if I lost that much cash I think I would shit my pants.

12/21/2008 23:01 #47130

Longest Night of the Year
Category: potpouri
It only gets better from here on out. A bit more daylight everyday.

This year it is kind of cool that Hanukkah starts on Dec 21st, the longest night of the year for an event that centers around bringing light into darkness.

I'm just listening to The Twilight Singers first CD tongiht for some reason tonight.

I'm kind of laying low at the moment. Really all I'm doing is just recharging myself and trying to focus on what I want out of life next year.
tinypliny - 12/21/08 23:54
I want to propose dammit. I want to propose. (I just shouted that out my window into the blowing snow) I feel better already. :D

12/19/2008 21:50 #47117

In these challenging economic times
Category: holidays
Economies of Scale have to be utilized...



Christmas and Hanukkah Merger

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.

Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

One of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner. A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared happy about this.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. He merely pointed out that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market. Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance. He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful."






metalpeter - 12/20/08 13:01
I just Wanted to let you know that this isn't really news Chrismukah all ready is a Holiday Just ask Seth or Ryan Atwood, This fact could also be confirmed Summer. For some people who don't know what the hell I'm talking about here is a spot that defines almost anything :::link:::
mrmike - 12/19/08 22:38
Now that's funny

12/17/2008 13:22 #47090

It may be time
Category: finance
I know everyone here is We <3 Buffalo, NY but the latest proposed budget just about takes it to the absurd level.



Seriously a 4% tax on itunes, $.50 more a movie ticket, a couple of bucks to a Sabres ticket, 4% to Satt TV or Cable, Additional 4% tax of clothes, A tax on gym memberships, Increased taxes of beverages. Seriously someone making 30K in Buffalo you will have less to spend on entertainment or keeping yourself in shape than elsewhere.

My question is where does all of this money go?


tinypliny - 12/19/08 22:07
They are taxing smoking. My question is why aren't they taxing alcohol? They should. It is linked to as many diseases as smoking is.
paul - 12/19/08 21:59
I cant believe they will tax gym memberships. If people stop going they will just end up with more sick people over time and then that will cost more for the state. I thought most of the taxes were for entertainment and things that were bad for you - e.g. cigarettes, alcohol, soda, etc
james - 12/17/08 20:56
It has gotten to a point where you could live in a thriving city for the same cost as living in comatose Buffalo. And why would any one or any company move here if they could move to a better market with similar costs?
matthew - 12/17/08 19:21
Even I , Mr. "I <3 love Buffalo" himself, have thought about moving. This is getting crazy, and scary! What incentives from the state ate people getting to stay in NY? Uughh!
jenks - 12/17/08 19:12
Clearly, it's not going to plowing after snowstorms. =/
tinypliny - 12/17/08 19:03
So if there is a lesser increase in spending, did the government used to increase spending by more than 1.1% every year till the last budget? How did they fund all that - have they levied taxes like thes in the past as well?
jason - 12/17/08 15:47
It's a larger budget than last year's budget. That's all it means. With these people you have to be careful, in many cases cuts don't mean actual cuts, rather it means a lesser increase in spending, and a one percent sales tax increase is "just a penny" - they're snakes of the highest order. This is supposed to be their slash and burn, oh my lord we're cutting so much, the sky is falling for the government budget and they're fatter than ever.
tinypliny - 12/17/08 15:34
So how is spending increasing 1.1%? What are the extra expenses that are not even covered by all these cuts?
mrmike - 12/17/08 14:57
I notice I didn't hear anything about cutting down state government at all. Tough to solve decades of issues in one swell foop.

12/12/2008 20:54 #47047

Boiler Room
Category: finance
I was up last night and I caught the end of the movie Boiler Room and after reading the news today about this Guy not much has changed in 8 years.

The funny this is in the movie Giovanni Ribisi character realized that there is no way after working @ J. T. Marlin he would ever get a job at a "reputable" firm like Merrill Lynch, HA if he only knew how "Reputable" they would turn out 8 years later.

It just reinforces the face that the as "the game" has been played over the last 25-30 years in the country. That guy that pulled off the biggest ponzi stock scheme was the FORMER CHAIRMAN OF THE NASDAQ!!! Now who can you really trust?

The only part that will be interesting to read/watch will be the fallout of the people at those country clubs in Palm Beach or the Hamptons who now realize that they aren't millionaires after all!!! There should be some good dateline episodes coming out of this for sure. Time to pull the kids out of private school...
james - 12/12/08 23:15
I saw that movie on a long plane ride. I had no sound, and just watching it made me think it was Entourage: The Movie.