is too cheap. By me personally, I mean if I got one. I don't have one so I am not an expert. I am not trying to cheapen anyone's else's rings or anything but before everyone just decides that I am purley a materialist, I thought I should explain myself.I feel like a wedding ring should carry more of a investment than say an mp3 player or cell phone because it shows that the person purchasing worked hard for it and frankly working hard for something equates caring to me.
I am not saying that someone who is poor should have to spend $5000 and go broke, that is ridiculous. And in reference to (e:thelli) I am definately not suggesting it need be diamonds. In fact I don't really like diamonds - I am an emerald guy, lol. But in my opinion it should be somewhat relative to your income and should involve a bit of saving up. Even someone at minimum wage could save $10 a week for one year and get me a $500 ring. Thats like barely a couple beers.
Plus, more valuable rings also appreciate in value over time so that they become things that you can put in your will and pass on to other people.
Now (e:matthew) says he wants this one
Here are my demands. If you give me a ring, you sincere person, I want it made out of either:
a) Cheerios (yeah, its going to be tricky getting a one that fits that finger. Start sorting through boxes or bake one for me. hehehe)
OR
b) Sour jello-candy.
I won't accept any compromise deals. I want to eat the ring. Let's be completely clear on that! ;-)
After reading all the comments, I think maybe it boils down to "do you and your significant other agree that saving up for a more costly ring equates the commitment/effort in your hearts". If it is important to both of you, then go for the big tag. But, as other have put, if the symbol of the ring itself is equates the commitment/effort in your hearts, then stick with the low budget. It doesn't mean people with big rings are all superficial.
When asked what I wanted, I requested small, sapphire, and inexpensive. Of course it is his prerogative regarding the engagement ring.
I've been thinking about this post for a couple of days. Jim and I are the in the process of becoming "betrothed", technically, that is. (he asked my father for his blessing in September when my folks came to visit). I want a ring because, although anyone who knows me would use the word materialistic LAST among adjectives to describe me, it just shows that the person has invested themselves in the question, in the proposal. Plus I never buy anything nice for myself, so if a man really loves me, he'll see that I deserve more than I would ever do for myself. My man is not rich, the two of us together struggle to make the old ends meet in the middle, and maybe have a few left over for a couple cocktails or tokes at the end of the month. I've been leaving him the jewelry ads which come in the mail since last valentines (I'd never really ever gotten actually "jewelry" before that, other than beaded hippie businesses). I circled a very modest yet cute ring, which was $150. I keep telling him, it's not the ring, it's the man, it's the relationship, but seriously I'm over 30 now, so let's go. I don't want to wait the 7 years for him to save up, ya know? He said, and I quote "Do you know how much that ring costs?!?! - $100!!!" and I said
"It's $150". to which was replied "Do you think I'm a fucking asshole? What kind of man would I be to buy the woman I want to marry a $150 ring?!?"
oh, the struggles we have.....wow, I sound very obnoxious...really I'm just blessed.
The whole price thing is just retarded. Woman with huge real rings and huge fake boobs and big successful fake husbands have only one real thing, and that diamond won't keep her warm at night.
I don't care what anyone thinks when they look at my small get-the-magnifying-glass-out-ring that I'll eventually get, I'll know it's mine because I'm loved. That's all that matters.
Oops I copied the wrong link :::link::: from the chat. Both were in there. The self-insemination site is insane because its about trying to predetermine the gender of your baby with all these tricks.
I am fixing it.
So I click the link to the $55 ring, and I'm brought to a forum about "at-home self-insemination". LOL
I get the sense that you feel the ring should be more of a reflection of someone’s commitment rather than simply a symbol of their commitment - I believe many other people feel that way too. However, I sometimes think people who have already been married a while (or who are divorced) often have a different take on the ring thing. As for engagement rings, many women stop even wearing an engagement ring some years into their marriage - here I think a bigger ring just says someone has more money (or less sense), not that they’re more committed.
My husband and I had very simple, unadorned 14K gold wedding bands. They were quite inexpensive (not $55 but close enough) and I did not want an engagement ring - it felt unnecessary to me (of course we were only engaged for a month before we got married). It was his commitment to me that I most valued not the symbol. I don’t think I could have ever found a ring that would have been a true reflection; everything â€" no matter the cost â€" would have seemed cheap in comparison.
One nice thing about the inexpensive rings - when my husband died, I buried his wedding ring with his ashes - and I can pretty much be sure no one would dig him up for it, nor did I feel any compulsion not to do it based on its (monetary) value.
To expand on (e:James)'s Idea (assuming traditional weeding) The grooms men and bridesmades who are set up could just get naked together and have a blast of a time I would love to see the look 0n the camera crews faces.
Back to the point on rings. I do like rings but never really wear them and I have seen some cool looking rings for men not sure what rings for men look like but if they made them look like college rings or rings you get for winning some championship that would be pretty cool. But see with women the traditional rings look all the same mostly. Yes there are different sizes of diamonds. But unless you are up close you can't tell the difference. Not to mention if it is 14k or 24k gold it will look the same, if the diamond is worth 100 or 5000 bucks to the naked eye they look the same. What I think is more important is what the ring means. If two people met at The Lord of the Rings Then those rings with elfish writings on them is what you should get. To many people think that how much the ring costs is what makes it good or not, and that isn't true. Well unless of course that is what the relationship is built on, and a lot of them are so.... it makes sense that how much you spend equals how much you love to those people.
(e:james), I cannot wait until you get married. $1,000 does buy a lot of pizza and beer.
There are demons at lose in our society and they work for the wedding industry. Apparently, you now need an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and another ring when you renew your vows every ten years. Then there is an engagement party, the wedding, the honeymoon... you could buy a house for what some middle class people spend on, what is essential, a large party.
A wedding could be just as memorable and fun with kegs of beer, gallons of whiskey, and pizza. Save the small well drink, the dry chicken marsala, and the crushing debt. Seriously, how much alcohol and pizza could you get for $1,000? For the money people spend on tuxedos and dresses you could have a whole drunken orgy of a wedding.
Ugh, I am biting my tongue and trying not to rant about women who demand expensive engagement rings.
Not to mention the whole evils of the diamond industry that the ridiculous demand for expensive engagement rings supports.
My husband paid very little for my engagement ring and I still thought it was too much. Lol.
I've had friends that got engaged to girls with ridiculous ring demands... like, for example, a $10,000 ring on a salary of $65k or $70k. If I ever have a future fiancee that pulls that on me, I'd have to reevaluate if I ever actually knew her.
Guys are easy though... our bands are modest and don't have to be super expensive. I can see what you mean though (e:paul) - I don't think you are hung up on the price of the item, but the value in terms of what it took to give it to you. I think there is room for compromise. Like you say, the ring doesn't have to be absurdly expensive. Especially for guys, since it isn't too hard to make a guy's wedding ring look cheaper the more you spend on it.
(e:janelle) and I have modest rings--not $55, but definitely not even one month's salary--likely not a paycheck.
We demonstrate our commitment in other ways.
The diamond comment was really just an aside. Diamonds just rub me the wrong way. I definitely agree that other gemstones tend to look better. And would definitely go for something like that if I ever felt the need to purchase a ring that was more than just a band. (Although for a symbol, I'd actually find a clean and simple band to be preferable.) And, as opposed to diamonds, you are less likely to have a forced monopoly driving up prices despite the actual lack of real rarity. (At least the kind of rarity that would warrant those prices. Cripes.)
I like the ring Matt picked out. Having excess bling is way too guido, way too chav, no diamonds for me.