Such opposing emotions in a breakup.
I love him,
but I hate him.
I want him to be happy,
but I want him to hurt the way I do.
I want him here every second,
and I never want to see him again.
I'm crushed,
but relieved that I don't have wonder when the other shoe is going to drop.
He's all I can think about,
but I want him erased from my mind.
He's cute and funny and caring and sweet...
and probably can't ever be trusted again.
I'm everything he wants,
but I'm not enough.
I feel angry and betrayed,
but I miss him.
I don't want to trap him,
but I want to convince him to stay.
I want to go back in time...
And I want to fast forward through the hurt.
I'm numb,
but everything hurts.
I'm sorry,
and I'm not sorry at all.
My mind is racing,
but my thinking is foggy and slow.
But mostly...
I'm just sad. :(
Jenks's Journal
My Podcast Link
06/30/2008 23:26 #44833
bah.... boys suck06/24/2008 16:36 #44770
ridiculousSo I just went to check my credit card bill online- and they've "upgraded" their website. It says "sorry, your browser [Safari 3] did not pass the security check" and goes on about how they use the highest possibly security etc.
So you must use one of the approved browsers:
IE 4 (yes, four)
Netscape 4
AOL 5
I didn't even knew people still used netscape OR AOL.
Somehow I don't think IE 4 has 'stronger' security than Safari.
But maybe I'm totally wrong.
So you must use one of the approved browsers:
IE 4 (yes, four)
Netscape 4
AOL 5
I didn't even knew people still used netscape OR AOL.
Somehow I don't think IE 4 has 'stronger' security than Safari.
But maybe I'm totally wrong.
metalpeter - 06/24/08 18:50
I don't use Safari very often but I think what might happen on those other browsers is that something like say active x or some other feature will pop up and then you can decide if you want to use it and maybe safari doesn't have that option I'm not really sure or maybe it is just how your settings are, maybe it remembers all your passwords and it can detect that. Maybe if I was at your house and logged on then I could log in automaticly to any site you go to. Again I don't really know just taking a guess that you might want to look into your settings or maybe try using firefox and see what happens.
I don't use Safari very often but I think what might happen on those other browsers is that something like say active x or some other feature will pop up and then you can decide if you want to use it and maybe safari doesn't have that option I'm not really sure or maybe it is just how your settings are, maybe it remembers all your passwords and it can detect that. Maybe if I was at your house and logged on then I could log in automaticly to any site you go to. Again I don't really know just taking a guess that you might want to look into your settings or maybe try using firefox and see what happens.
06/23/2008 19:29 #44761
passport infoquick random FYI post since people were talking about it a while ago-
I mailed in my passport renewal app on 6/13. Not expedited or anything, just regular.
Got my new passport in the mail 6/21.
seems like they're moving fast these days.
i ordered a passport card too while I was at it- that hasn't come yet, they're saying July maybe.
I mailed in my passport renewal app on 6/13. Not expedited or anything, just regular.
Got my new passport in the mail 6/21.
seems like they're moving fast these days.
i ordered a passport card too while I was at it- that hasn't come yet, they're saying July maybe.
vincent - 06/28/08 12:15
Yea, nothing like a 10 day turnaround time. Sent mine out on 6/19 & just received it right now 6/28
Yea, nothing like a 10 day turnaround time. Sent mine out on 6/19 & just received it right now 6/28
carolinian - 06/24/08 11:28
Did they mispell your name? They did on mine. They spelled my first name Nial. Are you listed on your passport as Xela Rottweiler?
Did they mispell your name? They did on mine. They spelled my first name Nial. Are you listed on your passport as Xela Rottweiler?
mrmike - 06/24/08 08:41
Might actually be time to get that done instead of monkeying around with nexus cards and the new city hall birth certificate.
Might actually be time to get that done instead of monkeying around with nexus cards and the new city hall birth certificate.
joshua - 06/23/08 19:41
Jesus - that is a sea change compared to 3 years ago, when I got mine. I paid $185 for an expedited passport and had to wait 3 weeks!
Jesus - that is a sea change compared to 3 years ago, when I got mine. I paid $185 for an expedited passport and had to wait 3 weeks!
06/20/2008 10:54 #44727
new coatCategory: work
Well, it looks like it's official...
And my first case in official chief capacity last night- a guy that slit his own throat, and cut about 90% of the way THROUGH his trachea. like just a little sliver holding it together in the back. Twice. His roommate just found him, totally alert and awake, bleeding in the shower. (at the psych center, not surprisingly.)
shite!
He's ok though. But it's too early to know if he fucked up his vocal cords or anything.
And my first case in official chief capacity last night- a guy that slit his own throat, and cut about 90% of the way THROUGH his trachea. like just a little sliver holding it together in the back. Twice. His roommate just found him, totally alert and awake, bleeding in the shower. (at the psych center, not surprisingly.)
shite!
He's ok though. But it's too early to know if he fucked up his vocal cords or anything.
ajay - 06/26/08 17:37
Whoa.. I go away for a couple of weeks and you get promoted.
Clearly, I need to take more vacations.... ;)
Congratulations!
Whoa.. I go away for a couple of weeks and you get promoted.
Clearly, I need to take more vacations.... ;)
Congratulations!
paul - 06/21/08 09:48
Congrats
Congrats
imk2 - 06/21/08 07:58
oh wow...congratulations!!
oh and the slit throat thing....craaazaaay. how did he manage to do all that without cutting his arteries
?
oh wow...congratulations!!
oh and the slit throat thing....craaazaaay. how did he manage to do all that without cutting his arteries
?
tinypliny - 06/20/08 19:01
Rip out the bubbly! :)
Rip out the bubbly! :)
theecarey - 06/20/08 18:43
Sweet! Congrats!
Sweet! Congrats!
museumchick - 06/20/08 14:16
Congratulations! That's such a great honor.
Congratulations! That's such a great honor.
johnallen - 06/20/08 13:12
Kudos....Congrats
Kudos....Congrats
mrmike - 06/20/08 11:59
Very cool, congrats on the chiefdom and getting in such nice print.
Very cool, congrats on the chiefdom and getting in such nice print.
chico - 06/20/08 11:23
Hail to the Chief!
Hail to the Chief!
joshua - 06/20/08 11:01
Nice!
Nice!
06/15/2008 10:21 #44653
birthday boys...Happy birthday, (e:twins)!
Hope it's a good one. :)
Hope it's a good one. :)
mike - 06/15/08 19:14
Happy Birthday guys!
Happy Birthday guys!
joshua - 06/15/08 11:13
Thanks :)
It looks like we did get lucky on the weather... today is supposed to be the only nice day this week!
Thanks :)
It looks like we did get lucky on the weather... today is supposed to be the only nice day this week!
metalpeter - 06/15/08 10:34
Happy Birthday Larson's !!!!!!!
Happy Birthday Larson's !!!!!!!
I missed this when you posted it, I'm sorry!
Hang in there jenks. Let me know if you wanna go to the beach again. You would have to drive this time. This time we will have to make sure the wind isn't blowing though!
I'm so sorry. My suggestion is a bottle of wine and a good friend.
may i recommend walking through macy's with a pricing gun and put everything 'on sale'. that might fuck up his day ;)
boo-urns to that!
Sorry about that.
i'm sorry : (
:(
I'm sorry, Jenks....
((((( (e:Jenks) )))))
I'm sorry
That is so heartbreaking. :( Someday, you will end up with a really awesome person whom you deserve! And the best thing is you won't even expect it or even look for it
Sorry to hear it didn't work out.