It sucked. pardon the play-by-play, but this is a (partial) log from my pager.

0430 alarm goes off
0500 actually get out of bed
0540 go to work
0600 round on my patients
0900 done with rounds and morning work, decided to go eat breakfast
0905 order breakfast
0906 cancel breakfast order b/c some lady slit her wrists with a plastic knife and needs to be seen
1030 try again for breakfast
1031 cancel breakfast again b/c patient is bleeding from dialysis catheter
1130 first call to ER- guy shot in the knee, bullet is stuck in his ankle. Does not need OR- yet. needs to be checked every 30 min.
1330 now he needs OR. Go slice his leg open to release swelling
~1600 small amount of free time, manage to eat granola bar for lunch
1658 called to ER for guy who flipped ATV and broke his spine. Admit to floor.
1801 called to ER (though we never left) for guy whose wife ran him down with the car- has a brain injury. Admit to ICU.
1924 called to ER for nasty groin abscess- ends up being necrotizing fasciitis ('flesh-eating bacteria') and has to go to the OR ASAP.
2051 called to ER for 91 year old lady with bowel obstruction. Needs to be 'decompressed' i.e. tube in her butt to allow air/diarrhea to escape (explosively, all over me)
2303 called to ER for 18yo pedestrian hit by car. Has facial fractures. Does not need OR.
2339 called to ER to drain nasty infected foot wound
0008 called to ER for GSW to the abdomen. Kid was dying. Went to OR ASAP. Was not a GSW, but a stab wound. Bleeding to death from his liver. We saved him. :)
0010 DAN CALLED!!! But I couldn't answer. And he didn't leave a message. :( :(
0011 called to ER for GSW to BOTH legs. Does not need OR. Yet.
0316 called to ER for guy who broke ribs riding a dirt bike and has already been to 3 hospitals today, including in canada.
0418 called to ER for 24yo hit by car. Is in bad shape, needs to be on ventilator. Has shattered liver and kidney.
0445 called to ER for 17 yo whose foot was run over by a train. (what I thought were his shoelaces were actually the tendons of his foot/leg just flopping around. He lost his leg.)
0449 called to ER for 31 yo who had the shit beat out of him. Face is all crushed in, + brain injury, needs ventilator.

0600 new on call team finally arrives. thank god.
0730 finally almost done in ER, get to start daily work that should have been started at 0400.
0800 required by law to leave the hospital, but work is not done.
0940 finally leave hospital.
have to be back at 0800 tomorrow, and am on call again to do this all over on monday.

Notice "eat", "sleep" and "pee" are not anywhere in this schedule.

wow. that was the worst call I've had in a long time. Fucking trauma! I hate it! We were in the ER for about the last 10 hours straight. I especially like the times that we got two traumas within about 5 min of each other.

No one died though.... Except almost me when I was nearly falling asleep at the wheel on the way home.

And the one good thing- we had an amazing view of the fireworks. I could see like 3 different BIG sets going off at once, and whole bunch of little sets of fireworks.

Happy fourth all...
Yay for america, and our right to ride ATVs while high on coke etc etc etc.

Such opposing emotions in a breakup.

I love him,
but I hate him.

I want him to be happy,
but I want him to hurt the way I do.

I want him here every second,
and I never want to see him again.

I'm crushed,
but relieved that I don't have wonder when the other shoe is going to drop.

He's all I can think about,
but I want him erased from my mind.

He's cute and funny and caring and sweet...
and probably can't ever be trusted again.

I'm everything he wants,
but I'm not enough.

I feel angry and betrayed,
but I miss him.

I don't want to trap him,
but I want to convince him to stay.

I want to go back in time...
And I want to fast forward through the hurt.

I'm numb,
but everything hurts.

I'm sorry,
and I'm not sorry at all.

My mind is racing,
but my thinking is foggy and slow.

But mostly...

I'm just sad. :(

So I just went to check my credit card bill online- and they've "upgraded" their website. It says "sorry, your browser [Safari 3] did not pass the security check" and goes on about how they use the highest possibly security etc.
So you must use one of the approved browsers:

IE 4 (yes, four)
Netscape 4
AOL 5

I didn't even knew people still used netscape OR AOL.

Somehow I don't think IE 4 has 'stronger' security than Safari.

But maybe I'm totally wrong.

quick random FYI post since people were talking about it a while ago-

I mailed in my passport renewal app on 6/13. Not expedited or anything, just regular.
Got my new passport in the mail 6/21.

seems like they're moving fast these days.
i ordered a passport card too while I was at it- that hasn't come yet, they're saying July maybe.

Well, it looks like it's official...





And my first case in official chief capacity last night- a guy that slit his own throat, and cut about 90% of the way THROUGH his trachea. like just a little sliver holding it together in the back. Twice. His roommate just found him, totally alert and awake, bleeding in the shower. (at the psych center, not surprisingly.)

shite!

He's ok though. But it's too early to know if he fucked up his vocal cords or anything.