I've been listening to a book on tape - a really random gross one that I didn't realize was more of a romantical book than a historical fiction - which is more my interest. So of course today on my way home from work I was subjected to about 15 to 20 minutes of a sex scene that uses delightful words such as "member" and "maidenhood".

Oh and incidentally, part of the reason the sex scene was so long was because they had to keep pausing to wonder aloud if the ghost of his grandfather was watching. Or to describe, in detail, the number of petticoats the young gent had to fight his way through to do his husbandly duty and officially make her his wife. BLAH!

Point of the story? I was pulling into the city when I realized my face hurt from the awful jaw dropping expression that was apparently plastered all over my face during the entire drive.

Apparently listening to heterosexual romance sex scenes set in medieval england during my long drive just doesn't do it for me.

but on a brighter note - three years ago today lauren and i made out for like 3 hours at the bar. happy anniversary love!

Every time I go to the zoo i get faced with animal bums. so here is a fun new game for all of us to enjoy... NAME THAT ANIMAL BUM!!!








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and we have to check out (e:lauren)'s bum while she checks out animal bum.


and, oh my goodness look how (e:lauren) has shrunk!

I'm at work.... and its slow. Watching a kid across the street trying to bust his face open by riding his bike up a makeshift ramp. I'm afraid to look away in case he succeeds.

otherwise, the day is slow. dull. boring.

yesterday I enjoyed the 420 holiday by taking care of (e:lauren)'s hungover butt. We watched movies (i am normally too antsy for movies) which included Liar Liar and Pirates of the Caribbean. It was kinda as if the cable company knew that everybody would be stoned and ready to zone out to stupid movies all night.

today was my day to go back on my diet. i cheated soooo much in the past few days. so far so good.

i need to make up a list of all the things that I need to do before the trip, so i don't have to think about it.

Spent last night at my grams. Good times, good times. Of course i didn't bring my phone charger so my battery was dead.

(e:lauren) took the opportunity to go out without me. Which is why she is sitting on the couch in pain today. Poor little hungover lady. apparently if she is not concentrating her efforts on keeping me from drinking too much and being ridiculous, she is, herself, getting ridiculous... poor drunk lady...

and of course she got to admit how it was better the other way around because when i was the one with the hangover she got to make me wrong for it. Thats my girl.

back to laundry

We spent yesterday at the Toronto Zoo. Here is a recap of a couple important things.

1. Canadian drivers can be scary at times.

2. FOcusing on the inner set of numbers on the spedometer instead of the outer set of numbers can be distracting. It doesn't matter though because apparently 100kh speed limit does not actuallymean 60mph, it means 85 mph.

3. Except when you are trying to leave around 5 pm on a friday night. then 100kph means 3 mph then 0mph then 4 mph for 2 hours.

4. The toronto zoo needs to stop expanding their exhibits. Why? because I thought my feet were going to fall off during the 4 hour walk we took around the zoo, and several exhibits weren't even open.

5. Why is it that every time I go to visit a damn zoo the polar exibits are closed? The tundra was being built, along with the australian and canadian exhibits. I know I know, if I want to see some damn penguins i should just go to the aquarium. But dammit!

6. The rumors of Toronto being a very clean city apparently do not apply to the smog that looms everywhere. But being a city of such ridiculous size, I bet its hard to not have smog.

7. Does anybody know the real reason that when your car goes through the border patrol, and you stop at the gate to talk to the nice man who has a lovely border patrol script that he is reading to you... why is the pavement angled so your car is tilted like 40 degrees and there is a grate udnerneath the middle of the car? are there people under there?

8. My collection of photos of animal asses is increasing nicely.

9. Happy Birthday Grandpap.