James's Journal

02/01/2008 13:48 #43134

Who is the Real Joe Biden
Category: humor?

What do we know of Joe Biden?

Yes, he is one of the longest serving members of the senate. Yes, he has been a presidential candidate a few times. And yes, I want him and Obama to make sweet, sweet white house love together - ties loose, collar button undone.

But who is the real Joe Biden?

In 1987 Joe moved into a neighborhood Willmington known for a stray dog problem. Six months later no dogs could be found, Joe moved again.

In 1992 Joe introduced a piece of legislation that would ban the sale and ownership of silver daggers.

Joe has never attended a late night meeting while there was a full moon.

This points to a profoundly disturbing suspicion.

Have we let wolfmen infultrate the highest levels of our government?

mrmike - 02/01/08 14:33
He's really Mr Belding, senator

jason - 02/01/08 14:22
I have a nagging compulsion to get creative and paint some handlebars on Biden's face. Just something I do.

01/31/2008 22:23 #43122

Since bailing out of student teaching I am pleased I didn't go through a week long 'I am a miserable failure let's drink a few years off your life' phase. Rather, I am super glad I did what I did.

So, I have been talking to a career councilor at Buff State. I have been seeing him for a month now, as I was pretty sure I wanted nothing to do with public school education for a while now. Well, I completed a few aptitude and temperament tests two weeks ago and got the rest results back. According to those tests I have an overwhelming aptitude for being an elected official.

So I want to use this moment to announce my candidacy for anything. Anything at all. My platform is as follows.

We will reform X to be superior to the way it was before!

We must end the policy of Y because it increases disparities between working class Americans and demonized institution du jour!

I promise you, in the first 100 days I am in office, I will not shake the hand of any foreigner who does not speak in an outrageous accent. Further more, I will not shake the hand of any member of 80's rock behemoth Foreigner.

fing - 02/01/08 20:18
Don't forget the you did not inhale part!

jason - 02/01/08 13:37
How about a William Burroughs impersonator? You don't have to do any junk or anything, but you have the sense of humor down.

museumchick - 02/01/08 13:09
So does this mean you're not running as a republican?!!!

mrdeadlier - 01/31/08 22:39
You've got my vote!

But on day #101 let's have a Foreigner concert and invite all the Canadians, k?

01/28/2008 10:50 #43059

Response to Tony
Category: religion

Tony, I have a book your daughter needs to read.

imk2 - 01/28/08 18:44
yes, my child has read that one and i apparently did too, even before i was able to read.

jim - 01/28/08 14:13
:)

01/26/2008 18:34 #43045

State of the Union

Chris Morris is the funniest man alive.

Check out this State of the Union address he spliced together. I peed myself three times watching it.

mrdeadlier - 01/28/08 13:30
terror, burning with hot irons... AWESOME

libertad - 01/27/08 18:20
That is pretty flawless, I love how everyone always claps and cheers, it's just like watching the real thing.

jbeatty - 01/27/08 03:13
That was fucking brilliant!

01/25/2008 20:08 #43034

Boycott Chuck Norris
Category: politics

Now that Grandpa Fred's presidential bid/nap is over what is his staff up to?

Much bigger and more noble work apparently.

A former communications staffer has launched Boycott Chuck Norris to fight the disease which is Chuck Norris.

Chuck has been a very public supporter of whackjob Mike Huckabee. In fact, when the Huckster won the Iowa caucus his wife was not up on stage with him, but Chuck was there.

Huckabee, is fucking crazy. Seriously fucking crazy. He believes in a literal biblical interpretation of reality. There is no evolution and he said if elected he would rewrite the constitution to be in line with god's word. In the early 90's he called for the quarantining of people with AIDS. He has continually likened homosexuality to necrophilia and bestiality.

Chuck is free to get in bed with whomever he wants. But, as the site says

I want you to join me in boycotting all of the products that Chuck Norris endorses and some of the national companies that run advertisements on the show in which he starred and currently rerunning on the USA cable network, Walker, Texas Ranger.

all I got to say is, thanks, 20 years ahead of you on that one.

metalpeter - 01/26/08 13:10
First of all sorry I don't think so. USA is a great network (granted I don't watch it that much other then Wrestling) why boycott it cause it has a chuck norris show on. That is like burning down a High School with all the kids in side of it cause there are 3 terrorists in it. OH wait that is what we did with Iraq, I know that wasn't the intent but man what a botch job that was. Second of all I love Pepsi and Mountain dew and he does an ad for them. Not to mention they own Taco Bell, KFC, and Pizza hut so we should then boycott all of them again I don't think so. Well maybe we should just boycott his movies, um wait he hasn't done any in like 15 years, oh well. Seems to me like the boycott idea is going down in flames very quickly.

In terms of interperating the bible literaly there are a few problems with that.
1) Adam and Eve where the first people on earth. That means that what happened there was all fact and not a symbol and there were not multiple gardens of eden. So to have more humans brothers and sisters had to fuck each other and or mom and dad.

2) Tower of Bable stroy. That thing where the tower falls and god makes everyone speak different languages untill they all can speak the language of god. That would mean one of two things only people who speak god's language can talk to each other or that every nationality is supposed to stay seperate untill they die and they speak god's word in heaven .

I know that I don't know his belief system but I do know that if you follow the bible exactly word for word you run into allot of problems and this is only from two parts I mentioned. I guessing like allot of people in this world he has his own ideas that the bible supports and then he doesn't follow the parts that don't support his beliefs and that is his right to do so.

mike - 01/26/08 00:39
if only his show wasn't so amazing and impossible to look away from....