Let's face it, as we age, gravity no longer remains a friend of ours.

Never really has been a friend to me because, well, i tend to drop things. If there was no gravity, that thing i just dropped would not fall to the floor and break or smash. Simple. It would just float about right at the place it slipped out of my hands and i would grab it and go on with life.

Let's go in another direction for a short period of time. The way back machine.

When i was developing, there was a mean, cruel little test some of the girls did to show how wonderfully perky their new boobies were becoming. Take a pencil, and place it underneath said boobie. If the pencil falls to the ground, then you had good boobs. If it stayed put, it was time to raise the arms to shoulder level and thrust the elbows backwards over and over again while chanting in a sing song, 'we must, we must, we must increase our bust, the bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, the more the boys depend on us!' At ages 9, 10 and 11, i failed that test. No amount of sing song chanting would help, either. Damn it.

Now, 30 years later, i would fail that test if i used a pack of 50 pencils.

Somewhat unrelated, i went bra shopping a few days ago. Another underwire snapped. Time to do some replacing.

The staff member i dealt with at the shop was tactful. Mellon shaped or tear drop shaped, she asked? Uhm, how about ironing board shaped? Got a bra for that?

Yesterday, i wore one of the 4 new bras i purchased. I decided on one of the more supportive models. And now, 16 hours later, my ribs feel bruised.

Not just a monthly phenomena

About an hour ago, my mom called. She had a consult with my grandfather's g.p. this morning. The ct scan shows cloudy areas in his brain. Right now, they are saying the clouds are tumors. So, turns out he isn't crazy, doesn't have senile dementia or alzheimers. Instead, he just might be terminally ill. They (my mom and her brother -- his only 2 children) are going to confirm the diagnosis with more tests and an oncologist. They probably are not going to tell him. His g.p. suggested it might make the rest of his life a panic without him understanding or knowing why.

I confess. I love Graham Norton. I forgot how naughty he is... and what presenters on the telly in Blighty can get away with. If there is a way for Graham to make a joke dirty, he will manage it. Makes me giggle...

Not too long ago, (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i dvr'ed an episode on BBC America. We thought the reuniting of the original actors from The Dukes of Hazzard would be amusing. It was.

But it was the last song done by the musical guest that turned into a bit of an obsession (pun intended, see video) for me. His first song about wanting to bed Daisy... uhm, no, he meant Bo and Luke was interesting and amusing. His comedy while chatting on the sofa was strange. But that last song... i needed to have it.

Last night, (e:Uncutsaniflush) found it for me. And i uploaded it to youtube.

I cannot get this song out of my head. The (fake?) Norwegian rap is amusing... so is the line "i need him like a fat chick hates the gym". Enjoy...

I wonder if all retail is as huge a clusterfuck as my place of employment...

The staff meeting on Sunday was... uhm... interesting. It is facinating to watch your boss lie her ass off to save face in front of her boss. To watch her put others down to make it appear as thought she has been doing her job all along. When really, she has been phoning it in to the very person she is saying is being lazy at work. Huh?

I have had a note taped up on the boss' desk for quite some time that my parents, as birthday and xmas gifts to us this year, are paying for tickets to my cousin, Rob's wedding cruise, and when i needed time off. I recently confirmed those dates with another note. So, when the schedule is done (in advance! *GASP*), i see that i am working days i am not even in town. Interesting.

Seems the manager decided she wanted to take a weeks holiday at the same time. So, i mentioned to her that she is scheduling me for time i cannot work... i did, after all, say i needed from the 4th on off, so why i am i working the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th?! Another note with our itinerary was written. I wonder if she will have me working right up until the moment i leave? Probably.

What she doesn't know is that i need an additional day off... i just let her believe that it is part of the trip.

I am signed up to write and open competitive civil service exam to be a Developmental Disability Aide Trainee for the state of NY. On the 5th of February, the day before my birthday. The higher my score, the higher up on the waiting list i go. Scary good.

The only issue with that might be transportation. (e:Uncutsaniflush) is working so much, he might not be able to drive me. And the test is in West Seneca not near any bus route (i checked, NFTA said that there were no stops within walking distance of my destination). I am usually so organized about things. All my ducks in a row before i say i can or cannot do something. I wonder how much a cab would cost from the West Side to West Seneca? Anyone want to be my car service?

In other news, my Grandfather continues to spiral downhill. (e:LeeTee,42687) No retirement home (or as they say here Assisted Living Facility) would take him because he needed far too much attention and guidance.

His health is decent... well, except for the strokes they think he keeps having. He has gone for MRI's and tests and been poked and prodded. I don't think he understands what is going on. Which might be a good thing for him. Seems he kept saying his life amounted to nothing, and when my mom or dad reminded him of what he had done, he would say, "I did that!?!"

He has been living with my parents for a week or so. He couldn't live alone. And my parents have a home business. Imagine bringing what is essentially a large toddler to work every day. No attention span or memory, the inability to be able to get to the bathroom and back alone. It has been very difficult for my mom. Not just because it is her father and they have always had a rocky relationship, but because the burden of caring for him in the morning and during most of the day falls on her. She had a tightly scheduled life before this and a very busy business, so i suspect she is stressed, to say the least.

I tears my heart out to not be able to help. To not be able to be there to help her help her father. Or help her at work. I offered to help, but my work schedule, (e:Uncutsaniflush)'s schedule and the fact that i do not have a driver's licence all conspire to leave me unable.

Finally, however, today, being at the top of the critical wait list has paid off. He has a placement today... not too far from my parents.

And, as planned, this afternoon, (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i are heading into Stoney Creek this afternoon to help my mom out at my grandpa's condo. I think she wants me to pick out things i want before they pack things up. Personally, none of that really matters to me, but it matters to her, so i will go do it. If it helps her, i will do it. I hope to be able to help her pack some things up, too. If not today, then in the future, once the place is sold.

• sigh*