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Leetee's Journal

leetee
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12/31/2007 00:00 #42687

Crazy Is Our Middle Name
I have 2 grandparents still alive -- my paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather. Both have not been doing well lately, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

But the news i got today was the most disheartening.

I always thought my maternal grandfather was, at best, a grumpy old man and at worst, a misogynistic asswipe. Now, i find out he is a paranoid liar with sudden onset senile dementia.

Turns out that he has been lying to everyone for years about his age and his real first name (he's Ukranian, so he was saying that Larry was just the English version of his name, but even the Ukranian version isn't what his real name is).

He has been hiding money , sewed into his mattress, and writing himself little notes and stashing them around his place... reminding himself of things that don't make sense to anyone. Just my mom's name, written on a piece of paper, stashed among his bills. Or some words that no one can read. Or an insult to someone.

He also removed both my mom and my uncle from being the power of attorney for both his medical and financial needs. Seems they were out to get him.

He has been arguing with my mom on and off for a few years, but he picks fights... and thinks my mom is a slut. Then again, he thinks all women are sluts.

He had a fall recently. He was trying to change the lightbulb in the kitchen while standing on a rickety kitchen chair. Not wise for anyone, but for an old man (albeit not as old as he has been telling people he is). His wrist was broken... trying to not break a hip, i presume, but bracing his fall with his hand/arm.

I only found out about the fall when i was talking to my mom who was talking to her brother in Michigan. My mom lives in the same area (he lives in Stoney Creek, she lives in Hamilton), but he calls Michigan for help, because he was fighting, yet again, with my mom. He refused help from her... because she "knows why, damn it!"

Well, my uncle was in town for the holidays. As usual, he was going to stay with his dad, this same grandfather. Turns out the tv has been inoperable for quite some time. "Someone came in and broke it, stole some parts when i was sleeping", he claims. He also said my mom took parts to his blood pressure monitor because she wants him to die so she can get all his money that she has been stealing for years.

So, the old coot has been sitting alone in his apartment, unwilling to talk to anyone and having a broken tv and no radio. Just alone, staring at the walls. Going crazy, apparently.

At first, they thought this was all a mix up with meds. But the doc said the meds he is on could not cause the kind of confusion he is suffering from.

Doc said the confusion might have began around the time he fell and could actually be the onset of the most noticeable signs of dementia. That the moment of the fall when we all think "what the hell just happened" continues for the elderly patient sometimes.

No matter what the cause, he can no longer live by himself.

He is loosing his mind. He's a asshole. But he is my grandfather. Even when i hate him and he is making others suffer, i still love him and don't want him to suffer. Crazy old bastard...

janelle - 12/31/07 08:39
Hey Lee, if you need someone to talk to about this, you can count on me. Alzheimers, a form of dementia, runs in my family. I watched it up close and personal with my grandmother. I had a lot of emotions and stuff going on when I was dealing with it and it wasn't until after my grandmother died that I was able to sort out and understand my feelings. It's tough.
jenks - 12/31/07 05:37
Sorry lee. dementia can be really frustrating. :(

12/19/2007 20:34 #42588

A Pox?
Or a jinx?

Since i have had my job in late September:

one employee had a panic and mild heart attack at work and was hospitalized for a week

another employee fainted and fell

another employee had a panic attack and was unable to breathe and was hospitalized

the employee that fainted slipped and fell on the ice

our district manager fell on the ice trying to dig out our back door because the mall hadn't done it and hadn't salted anything either

Someone suggested it might not be the store, but me. Who knew Lettuce could be dangerous?

12/16/2007 11:58 #42532

Caturday
Busy at Sally's yesterday... does everyone think that once the snow hits they will not be able to be out again until after xmas day?

I heard Weggies was a zoo...

Which made me think of this....

image

james - 12/16/07 14:29
I went to the Amherst st. Weg's at 7 last night. It wasn't too bad. The rush was earlier in the day according to the woman who checked me out. But the deli line was crazy!

What is it? Do people just crave pastrami on rye when snowed in?
theecarey - 12/16/07 14:18
People were nuts yesterday in the stores. I'm thinking it was a combo of Christmas shopping and Storm prep. I know I would need to run out and buy two emergency 54" flat panel TVs. (I'm still traumatized by almost being run over by a woman hauling a flat bed cart with two of these monsters on it. I also envied her, haha).

hehe, Caturday! omg, so many cats. My two drive me crazy with their antics, cant imagine hundreds of them. Now hundreds of kittens.. totally different story. Bring them on!
janelle - 12/16/07 13:13
Wegmans at Amherst was nuts on Saturday. (e:Drew) stood in line for 20 minutes at the deli. He even tried to sell his deli ticket for $5. I'd be surprised if Wegmans had any food left on its shelves.
mike - 12/16/07 13:05
haha! I don't know why but I find that hilarious!

12/14/2007 09:59 #42513

Minor Irritating Frustrations
Yet, i am feeling beat down. How many times can my work schedule or weather get in the way of holiday plans?

My work and (e:Uncutsaniflush)'s work schedules must have been planned... my boss and his got together and decided that every time i am working, he is not and every time he is working, i am not. Means we cannot do any holiday things together.

Ah, but just to give us false hope, we both have Sunday off, so we made plans. And now, we find out there might be a killer snow fall on Saturday night/Sunday morning, leaving us stuck for just enough time to not be able to make our plans a reality.

Then there's the times when there are parties that neither of us can attend because we are working.

It seems like the fates do not wish us to see anyone else this holiday season.

I will miss seeing my brother and sister in law and their kids, along with the new 6 year old foster child they recently took in. I will also miss seeing the extended family -- cousins and aunts and uncles. If those plans are still on... my mom hasn't mentioned them...

I am trying hard not to let this get to me, since really, in the grand sceme of things, it is just minor. Yet i am upset and frustrated.

Perhaps it is just getting used to working and having limited time again. I found it difficult enough to please everyone and be everywhere when i wasn't working, it's even more difficult now.

  • sigh*

Happy Holidays, everyone! Hope there will be pictures of the pot luck posted soon.
museumchick - 12/15/07 10:16
That's always so dissapointing when that happens. I hope that you'll have a wonderful holiday, though:).
metalpeter - 12/15/07 09:36
I will put a positive spin on things for you, not that it will help, Oh yeah positive sorry it will make all your troubles vanish. Before when you tried to see everyone is was I'm guessing impossible it was also very stress full flying around. So now you have a valid excuse, that being work. Just relax and say you can't see anyone because of work and kill all your plans it could cut out a lot of the stress. Yes family functions are fun but most peoples family stresses them out also, keep that in mind. The next time you see someone who you haven't had time to see hopefully you will be more apartative of being able to see them.

On a side note it looks like do to a memory card problem no pictures from the diner but it was still a great time.

12/22/2007 09:16 #42615

Oh, Canada!?!?
Category: holidays
My lovely spouse, (e:Uncutsaniflush,42611) recently journaled about how incosiderate Canadians can be while here.

Working retail in this area, i have experienced the rudest people to serve have either been Canadians visiting for the purpose of shopping or suburban women, slumming it in the city. The later is an entirely different subject, best saved for another day i feel like kvetching...

There is an attitude of entitlement and expectation of superior service because "I am from CANADA"... like that is somehow going to impress me into giving them more than i could give 30 seconds ago.

Oh, if that's the case, you are Canadain, well, then, i will get out the special backstock we keep away from the Americans to save just in case a Canadian comes into the store!

Or maybe the Xmas season is getting to me more now than it ever did in the past.

See, unlike those that have office jobs and got off work on Friday to have a week or even a few days off work, us retail shlubs have to keep on keeping on... right, (e:Fellyconnelly)?!

At my place of employment, to top it off, we have been short staffed. The pox i wrote about, (e:LeeTee,42588) has given me more hours... more than i wanted or could handle. Normally, we get a delivery on Tuesday and by Wednesday, it is all tagged and put away. No such luck this week. The back alley wasn't dug out from the weekend's snow soon enough, so we trudged it all box by box through the front door (the trucking company only drops off at the door, the employees have to get it to the appropriate place in the shop), all 3 skids of it. And the mopping afterwards... *shudder* Thank goodness no one slipped.

Being 2 staff members short, we barely got the chance to get to tagging and stocking. Of course, the manager complains when she comes in that all of the work should have been done. This same manager who needed a week off to recoup from whatever it was that was keeping her from working (all i know is that she was in the hospital for a day or maybe 2 then was home the rest of the week), but managed to get in on Friday to look around. I was sick, throwing up in the garbage can beside the cash register, but she still needed her regularly scheduled day off. Nice...

The light at the end of the tunnel, for me, was that my holiday plans would not be ruined. I was actually going to get to see some of my family for a short time today. (e:Uncutsaniflush) has to work this morning, but has the afternoon free and i have an actual day off.

So, after he gets off work, we were going to hit the road to Hamilton, arrive early afternoon and hang out with my mom and dad, my brother, sister in law, their 2 kids and their new foster daughter, have dinner with them, open some gifts i have here for them....

But that was foiled. Seems someone forgot to tell someone else that someone else invited them somewhere. Would we be able to do lunch?

Nope. No can do. This afternoon is the only time i can see them this holiday.

Despite me being as clear as i could to my mom and to my sister in law via email that this is and will be the only chance for (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i to see them, they made other plans. These plans are to go to dinner elsewhere... and this morning, i found out that they will be having dinner at that same place the next day, too.

How is that for a "fuck you", huh? Not only will we not make space to see you, but we made double the space to see the other side of the family's sister... not my brother's side of the family's sister.. aka me.

Ah, and the "fuck you" extends to my mother... who, for the record, rarely cooks. This year, she not only bought food to cook, but baked deserts and treats. All in preparation for this afternoon and tonight when their household of 2 would swell to 9....

So, it's not just Canadian strangers that are rude... it's my family, too.

  • sigh*
jenks - 12/22/07 19:19
sorry lee. what a bummer. I hate that massive disappointment when you were REAAAALLLLY looking forward to something. Especially when it feels like a personal slight. :(
(just remember- the estrip parties aren't scheduled when you can't go ON PURPOSE! We promise!)

Re: retail...
yeah. Dan works for one of "the big stores" at the galleria, and i have been hearing horror stories. His hours are worse than mine these days, and it's just soul-crushing. I went to the mall today, and couldn't BELIEVE what a zoo it is. And there are all sorts of money-exchange booths set up, and citizenship info kiosks... Damn canadians! ;)
janelle - 12/22/07 17:58
I'm sorry to hear about your family situation. I might have an interesting post after my holiday visit from the family.
I understand the frustration about scheduling. Family and friends don't always understand that Drew has to work on holidays like Christmas or Easter so visiting people out of town is a master feat to pull off.
Now that you've vented, focus on having a terrific holiday with UCSF!!
metalpeter - 12/22/07 17:10
I admit I'm a little bit confused about what is going on, and where you are going but that doesn't have much to do with my point, so then why did I just type that, I don't know really. The point I was going to say was I think your Nieces are lucky about the gifts. Ican kinda remember when christmas was over and I had gifts and then found out that something was coming in a week when I saw other family or got something in the mail. It kinda makes it like two christmases. That being said family is stressful and it can really get that way around this time of the year. Try to push out the stress and just have fun and work if that is possible.
leetee - 12/22/07 14:59
Totally valid points, (e:Libertad). Not all office jobs are the same. You only have Xmas off, unlike other office jobs that have more time off. And you will be doing more driving to see your family than we will... we are leaving after i get off work at 6pm for a hour and half, then back to Buffalo on the 25th so (e:Uncutsaniflush) can go to sleep at a decent hour so he can be at work first thing on the 26th -- only 3 hours of driving, total. At least we will be able to see my parents, if not any other member of the family.

I hope your drives go as smoothly, quickly and safely as possible.

I also realize my venting sounds so self important and perhaps a bit stronger than i intend. I was, and am still, frustrated by co-ordinating schedules with people who don't understand i no longer can control when i have time and when i don't. There's also a bit of history with my sister in law and "our" side of the family. She hasn't always been as considerate as she could have, to put it as nicely as i possibly can...

Saddest part is that my niece, nephew and foster niece won't get their gifts from us until after the holiday. They are here, sitting in our living room, along with a few things my parents picked out for them when they were here last. I should have mailed them all weeks ago, but i thought i would get the chance to see them today. :O(

I also found out about some other family drama on my mom's side between my grandfather and my mom and my uncle.

As my mom put it, "we're having family issues this year, aren't we?" Yep, seems like we are, Ma...

Ok, (e:Paul)... you got a deal. No Xmas next year!! :O)

paul - 12/22/07 13:23
Man, that sounds like crazy situation. I hope things get better after the holidays with your fmaily. Seriously, it seems like holidays add so much extra stress to everyone's lives, I think we should just cancel christmas for next year.
libertad - 12/22/07 11:24
Sorry things are rough right now. The holidays can be so stressful. On another note, I have an office job, but the only day we have off is Xmas. I would be working New Years Day if it didn't happen to fall on my regularly scheduled day off. I'm actually working the day before and after Xmas and will be doing almost 5 hours of traveling each way on Xmas day itself because I'm working the day before and after and want to see my family.